Negotiating with the Little Devil

The girl in front of me did little to hide her amusement. Her wide smile revealed two rows of snow-white teeth, amongst them four canines which only further diminished the believability of the guilt she had expressed before.

 

«She totally is trolling me, isn't she!?»

 

"What do you mean?" I heard myself ask.

"I feel sooo~ sorry for you! I want to make it-"

"No that."

"But I do!"

"I won't believe you!"

 

She stared at me, her eyes getting slightly teary.

 

«This bitch!»

 

"I am a fox!" She protested "I already told you!"

"Wait for a second!? Do you read my mind?!"

"Eehm ..." She hesitated. "No."

"Are you fucking kidding me?!"

"No."

"Whatever! I am totally not buying it!"

"It's free?"

"..."

 

«This girl! She would be the best if only she would keep her mouth shut!»

 

The girl froze. She avoided my gaze, her cheeks getting redder and redder by the second.

 

"Bu-but we only know each other since a few minutes," she stammered.

"Who would want to date you!?"

"You don't?"

"..."

 

I took several deep breaths. This wasn't going anywhere. I had to take control, if not for me, then at least for Mira.

 

"You said you could give me a new body?" I asked after having found my resolve.

The girl became fidgety. "I mean I could, but..."

"STOP IT!"

"..."

"You can't send me back!?"

"You really want to go back?"

"Of course I do! I have to meet Mira!"

"Will you be fine without your little friend?"

 

«Without my frien- what?! She cannot give me back my balls?!»

 

"... what was that about sending me to another world?"

"I can send you there, big sis! It has foxes, foxgirls, fox-"

"No," I cut her off, "just no!"

"But-"

"I want a normal world! And a normal body!"

"Isn't a fantasy world way better? You could be a hero and do magic!"

"Who would want to be a hero?"

"... boring."

"So what!? It is my life!"

"You are dead, though."

"..."

"Let's just send you to the afterlife! Those geezers will love playing with your little-"

"NOOO!"

"But-"

"Let's just do it, ok? But my rules!"

"Your rules?"

"You will send me to the other world!"

"Yes."

"And I will have a healthy body."

"Of course."

"Down there, too!"

"I would never send you away with your bottom pixelated, big sis!"

 

«This bitch!»

 

"Fox."

"..."

 

I took a few deep breaths, trying to the ease the urge that tells me to strangle this girl.

 

"You will give me a harem."

"A harem? I will surround you with one. No biggie."

"And I want to be able to use magic."

"That's ok!"

 

«Why is she so reasonable suddenly? Is she tricking me?! This vixen!»

 

The girl suddenly starts clapping. "Big sis finally got it right!"

"Stop calling me sis!"

"But big sis~"

"I am not your toy!"

"You are such a killjoy ..."

"Stop play- whatever! I don't care! One last wish!"

"Yes?"

"I want to be with Mira."

"I can do that."

"You can?"

"Of course. I am a goddess, you know? I can do everything!"

"So you totally do not remember crushing my balls? Little Mrs. Goddess?"

"I would never forget that! Actually, I taped it!"

"You taped-" I felt something inside of me breaking. "YOU FILTHY BRAT! I'VE HAD IT! SEND ME AWAY NOW! NOOOW!! I DON'T WANT TO FUCKING SEE YOU ANYMORE!"

"So loud!"

"I. DO. NOT. CARE!"

"Ok, ok! I send you now! Bye-bye, big sis!"

 

With a wave of her arms, a pale green mist appeared. It surrounded me like a small tornado, blurred my vision and slowly consumed my consciousness.

 

«Did she just?! Did she really just call me 'big sis' again?! I will-»

"Kon-kon!" Her joyful voice cut of my threat. "Welcome to Fox Air - Your foxy travel agency with destinations all around the world~"

«I don't care anymore ...»

 

⊱————- Extra ————-⊰

 

Riku: What is that ringing noise?!

???: Oh! Bed time~

Riku: Bedtime?

???: See you tomorrow!

Riku: What?! You will just leave me here?!

???: Don't worry, the grim reaper won't find you in here, probably...

Riku: Probably?!

???: It will be fiine~ When he comes, just shout 'Kon-kon!' at him!

Riku: Kon-kon?!

???: He will be totally annoyed by it!

Riku: Who wouldn't be...