Dad

Desna started coughing again. He tried to drink a little water, but that only increased his discomfort. He started shaking his head frantically. After sometime, he calmed down.

"We should not talk while eating."

"My nose is so spicy," he said with remnants of tears in his eyes.

"What you said before... Is it true?"

"Yup. So you see, don't speak about all of this again. I'm too hopeless." I laughed lightly. But it was a genuine laugh. It is nothing unsettling. I do feel fulfilled, except for Jessie. Somehow, death does not make me so sad ever since I spoke to her.

During the rest of the lunch, he kept looking at me. "You don't sound very sad." Huh, if only I could understand myself. After lunch, we drove back to the hospital in his car.

The schedule was as hectic as always. By the time I was home, it was about the usual dinner time. There were a lot of things I realised during this short time. Watching all of them happy has never been so satisfying before.

When I first knew about this, I had cried for three full hours locked up in my cabin. That was the first time I had gone home to find Jessie dozing off on the couch, waiting for me.

I did not know what to do then. I was so conflicted. The next day, early in the morning, I had gone looking for my dad. As we spoke, I cried again, a lot more than the first time. I refused to stop crying and stayed in the study room. That morning, I did not eat anything. The dejection I felt then was the worst feeling ever. Dad had to tell them that I already left for the hospital with some other colleague that had come to pick me up because of an emergency, to explain why the car was still at home. If not, they would have found out right then.

Perhaps dad was in a worse situation than I was. He told me to stay strong. That, everything was for the best. He said, not all things would go as planned, and how important it was to be happy. He told me not to worry about anything; that he'd take care of everything. Then, slowly, we discussed much more than I was prepared for. He promised me that he won't let Jessie suffer in this. That was when I had the courage to accept this fate and to be happy for the time that I had with me. My father has been a wonderful inspiration for me as a child, and I once more understood why. I have no idea how hurt he was with the news, he never showed any weakness.

Later in the early evening, when mom left for a chat with the neighbour, I slipped out of the room, with dad's help. I carefully walked far before hailing a taxi to the hospital. Desna had dropped me back that night.

But it was not until I had told Jessie that I was finally relieved. As agreed upon, mother would not know until the fated time. Dad seemed fine. I have no idea about Jessie. Mom looks happier these days. To cherish these people, I really have a very short time.

I was waiting for Jessie to ask her once again. She was still down stairs with mother. When she came back, once again we sat down for the essential talk. She sat on the chair four feet away from the bed I sat on.

"So, have you thought anything yet?" She knew what this was about, though I had not mentioned it particularly.

"Yes." No. She didn't seem like it.

"What is it?"

"Nothing." I knew.

"Jessie... this is the truth. You have to accept this." I did not know how to say anymore. I could not possibly ask her to cut a little someone. In this one matter, not even dad had the guts to persuade her.

"Don't worry."

"Then what will you do? Be a single mother for the rest of your life?" I did not intend to shout at all. But someone has to knock some sense into her.

"Don't shout. We will go and meet a doctor tomorrow. I don't think you will die."

"I will! Why else would I say so? And I am a doctor too, Jessie!"

"You are the patient. Sleep now. I will make an appointment for tomorrow evening. Make sure you are free." She then went out of the room and returned shortly after. She still did not agree with my death at all. She is more rational than this. Maybe tomorrow's appointment will help the situation then.