Emperor of Heaven

Story: pretty typical xianxia plot, loser MC stumbles upon a cheat in the form of old master. Remains to be seen if you manage to do something new with it. Character: pretty unremarkable. MC's too young to be relatable. His sole motivation up to chap 8 is... do whatever the master says to avoid dying, I guess? Presentation: Your work needs significant editing. I'll just point out the most glaring mistakes. * Punctuation / capitalization mistakes. - "where is he? we have to kill him..." - Character and location names not capitalized: Chen yang - a lot of sentences should be broken up by commas. " Dear Chen I've got not much time left in the world and please remember that your father always loves you" * Grammar: Xham Chen treated coldly towards him * Missing words first he should (verb?) around the entire (noun?) which is around 10 kilometres (6.2 miles) * Others - Dialogues and monologues sometimes are not separated from description and are a pain to read. - Long, wordy descriptions make the writing lose momentum and emotion. - You should break up long paragraphs into short ones. Long paras are difficult to read on mobile devices.

this is my first story as an author i want everyone to see this content so i will be rating this higher i want to your opinions regarding the story and characters if you like to

*Remember, This review is based on the first 5 Chapters* Constructive Criticism: I feel that you are a little lacking in World Background thus far, I'd suggest adding some sort of "Explaining the world" to it, even if that'd only work as part of a prologue. Also, There was a few short Hiatuses without warning, So Hence the deduction in Stability of Updates. Positive Feedback: Well written, rather regular updates, strong Character Design & plot. Personal Feedback: I enjoyed reading this and 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 continue reading this in future. Score: WQ 5/5 SoU 4/5 SD 5/5 CD 5/5 WB 4/5

So most people have touched upon the grammar thing. It's not the best but pretty manageable to still read. Overall it is a story with a purpose. I can see where the character heading. The big thing is I want more on the character development and the world around him. Overall good story with a definite weak to strong cultivator. WQ: 3/5. SU: 5/5. SD: 5/5. CD: 3/5. WB: 4/5

gj. keep it coming them chapters! ^_^ gj. keep it coming them chapters! ^_^ gj. keep it coming them chapters! ^_^ gj. keep it coming them chapters! ^_^

I'd normally try to ignore bad grammar because most original writers here are amateurs, but this story has a great deal of them so I have to point it out. Missing capitalization, unclosed quotations, bad spacing etc. Sadly, there are far too many to ignore. With that said, the good news is that this aspect seems to improve as the story goes on. The author said English isn't his first language, so I'm sure he'll improve in that aspect as he keeps writing. I also recommending a little more proofreading, because ****** mistake like capitalization and unnecessary spacing are things you can easily catch even by just skimming the story. As for the story itself, it's the usual mainstream "weak MC who finds a way to become stronger." Those who like the genre will definitely feel at home. One thing I'd like to point out is how the MC comes off a little too whiny early on. From the moment we're introduced to him, all we ever hear is how miserable his life is and how how pitiful he is. We don't really see him do anything that makes us interested in him and his life story. So, that's something I'd put more emphasize on. Rather than presenting the MC as the most pitiful person in the world, try to make him do more things that'd make the reader respect him. For example, the way he manages to impress the Immortal with his etiquette is a good example. Something like that would have been great earlier into the story.

So I’ve read through the first 7 chapters, and the most glaring issue, as others have noticed, is the grammar. Things such as puntication, tenses and paragraphing has already been mentioned, so I’m not going to talk about it again. Instead I’ll talk a little bit about the structure. I can tell that this story has potential, and was well thought through, but a ****** it is written in a way that makes it hard to read, the idea gets lost. For example, sometimes it’s too crammed, as one topic jumps to another really fast, or when it switches through perspectives. Maybe a general outline would help. Because writing is not just about telling what’s happening, but make it interesting for the eyes and the mind too, The story, as said before has potential, I like it. The Main character is well defined and has a clear background and motivation. Then we have the immortal who, I take it, i should supposed to be a guide for the Mcs adventure. The story might appear overdone, but the way the plot revolves around the mc gives it a fresh take. I do hope that it will keep being regularly upgraded, because I believe it’s has a lot of potential, but is undermined by its grammar. The stability of updates is very good btw :P at least a lot better than mine.

Quite a fun read, I wish there was more chapters. There are some glaring mistakes though, the spacing between some words are not equal, some punctuation are misplaced. Capital letters appear at wrong places. Maybe you should try downloading a sentence checking app or something to reduce such mistakes. He was afraid of the immortal and he had still dare to scold the immortal. Probably he thought he was going to die, so no harm done by scolding him( my Guess). Keep up the good work!

Overall I think the premise so far is interesting, but it is similar to some other novels I've read. I'm interested to see how you make it different and better than those! The writing could use some work though. I understand that English isn't your first language so you should spend a bit more time editing. There are a lot of basic spelling errors and punctuation errors which you can fix pretty easily. The character development so far is decent but you can do a bit better. I haven't gotten enough of who the character is and their motivations just yet, but I assume it'll come soon. World building is pretty good. Overall good but definitely can be better!

A review as a reader. Okay, so I feel like the story is all over the place. It was sometimes confusing, probably to the wrong positioning of punctuation marks. I know Author's language wasnt english but you can work on that. It was interesting but I just think that some info are better if you give them through conversation or something that would spice up the story and the like instead of just plainly giving it away. I really hope that it would improve and re-edit because this story has some potential.

Storyline is great. If you can fix those below, this novel would be able to attract more readers. Chapter 2 - suddenly changed to first person view? "...I was crying out loud..." Lots of missing comma. Missing open and close quotation mark that makes it hard to separate the narrative and monologues. Wrong capitalization of alphabets. Wrong word used in Chapter 3 - should be 'runt' not 'rut' Generally, try to avoid having conversation in the middle of the paragraphs. Either put the conversation at the beginning or as the last sentence. Grammar is definitely a problem here. I noticed in one of the comments that English is your third language. I can understand what you are trying to say, but it was not without difficulty. While I don't focus that much on grammar, it is still important. Try to brush up more on your English as you continue to write. Yours, Luo Ye

Keep up the good work. It's my first time writing a novel so I am not good at giving comments. But I do appreciate efforts so hope you continues with your work and goodluck in the future... 😉😊

I like the story so far. Keep going on. ======================================================================================================================= I love it

Though there is room for improvement in grammar, i think with some help that that will be fixed. I think the story has a lot of potential, and that the author will one day make this story amazing.