Monsters Within: Legendary Dragon's Heart
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Placed in a world with Cultivation and Monsters.
A Half-Human and Half-Beast child, Chase. Being abandoned in the Crimson Forest, he is found and raised by a wandering Drunk Old Man that is a member of the Violet Family.
Although he grew up as a healthy boy, Chase did not have the talent to Cultivate a simple technique that the Violet Family provides and has since then been the only Failure Child of the Family.
But his life changed drastically when he was finally able to cultivate and integrated his soul with a Legion of Legendary Monsters.
Follow the Journey of a Young Boy that has been called as the Ultimate Failure become the Most Powerful Man in all of the 12 Worlds.
Release Rate: Unknown(Hiatus)
Author's Note: This is a plain cultivation Novel, please don't read it. If you ever read it, don't blame me if you get too absorbed on it. I don't have that much money to pay for your medical fees if you ever get sick reading this.
Also, I am NOT an English Language Native, so you can expect some errors on my grammars and some little to no typos.
IMPORTANT NOTE: The story will get better as you read the next chapters.
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To readers who are rich, please click "Vote" to support this Novel of mine. I'm quite desperate. Teehee~
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The Book Cover is not mine. The credits all goes to the Creator.
If the owner wants me to take it down, then I will gladly do so.
*Sees the title* *Thinks its a fanfiction* *clicks it* *reads one chapter* *go back to cover page* *sees its original* *screams until lungs gave out* *calms down* *saves in library* *download the novel* *waits for next chapter*
*seen**read**halfway the first chapter i stopped**back to cover**yep original*hot effing d*mn. saved. downloaded. now waiting for another chapter.
Hey Guys, BoredPanda here. Monster Within is my VERY FIRST NOVEL, I really hope some of my reader give their opinion on my writing style. Well I just want to let you guys know that I rated my Writing Quality 4 STARS, this is because even though I use basic english, I'm pretty sure I have no(or have but very little)wrong grammar, also I think I conveyed everything alright. In the stability updates, I gave 5 Stars, well as you can see, I update almost everyday. In Story Development, though the Pace is a bit slow, I'm pretty sure it's progressing quite well, so I gave it 5 stars. In character design, I gave 3 Stars, that is because I have given very little details about other characters, I only focused on the Protagonist but don't worry, I will give details about them soon. And lastly, world backround, I'm pretty sure that you all already know that the setting of my Story is a FANTASY WORLD... That's right, Spirit Energy, Cultivation, Beast and such exist there so I gave it a whooping 5 STARS... Also I Want To Thank All My Readers(If I have Some) To The Bottom Of My Kokoro(Heart)..Hahaha Thats All Mua Mua~
It's quite good and I hope it is not on hiatus .............................................................................................. Update faster author
It had a lot of potential, be sure to use that, I wasn't able to get too deep into it because I'm on a tight schedule wo please forgive my lack of info, but you did a good job.
This is your very first novel? Da*n! You are really talented. I felt like I was reading the typical cultivation novel, not originals. You paced it rather well and I like your characters design. No big issue with the writing style and stability of updates. Easily understand
I like it when i read the second chapter because i suddenly felt a great improvement in the writing. I don't if it is only I who felt that....story is good and i would like to read more. Some commenters on the chapters are doing a great job of mentioning any errors in writing for you. Value them and keep writing diligently for their sake
It is a well written story, but unfortunately the fact that the author is not a native speaker is quite obvious. Doing grammar checks would definitely make the reading experience much better! Stability of update is awesome. Will have to see a bit more to get a feel for the story development though!
So far there hasn't been many chapters uploaded and not much has happened but what I can say is that the story has started a bit slow, which isn't a bad thing since I'm sure that it'll get better as you keep uploading chapters. It's really good that you wrote where your story is headed in your description since I know what I'm looking forward to. The story itself has a bit of humor here and there which is always welcomes and it doesn't feel out of place. So far I'm not fully sure about how I feel about Chase as a person but I look forward to his development. I think one thing that bothers me is that your writing style is rigid but it makes sense that it would be like that since you're not a native English speaker but if possible become more relaxed with your style. There are a couple of mistakes but the majority of the novels I've read had some mistakes.
This makes me sad, not because it's bad. But because it is so good! the fact that english is not your first language and you still managed to write out a cohesive story is impressive. There are english language speakers who can't do that. Your use of the english language is great and for the purposes of webnovels you shouldnt be concerned over it. If you really want something to work on then theres only two things, work on being more descriptive in how you explain someones emotions or more subtler events. When possible try to get readers to imagine what the person is feeling/thinking through suggestion rather than just straight out telling them. The other thing is make an outline for where you want the story to go. Even if it is just an outline for the first arc, spend an hour to outline it out from beginning to end and use that as a reference when you are writing the chapters. over all, very good!
First of all me and the MC have the same name so there is 5 stars for that. The overall story is not bad just a lot of gaps in knowledge of when, where, and how did he get there. Seeing as I only read up to chapter 4 the author has plenty of time to get there. The writing a bit off, but still easily read. The MC definitely strongish right away so if you don't like that then don't read. Overall I think it's a good story and I would recommend giving it a try.
The writing quality is relatively pleasant to read and it contain enough balance of exposition and character interaction. While it does use the template start it execute it gracefully creating a well flowing novel that can entertain the reader. Pro 1. Well flowing story despite using template development 2. Relatable character positioning 3. Relatively pleasant read in term of grammar and spellings Weak 1. template development 2. a jump in character power in early chapter
Your novel seems interesting just a little bit I'd add is that you have tiny grammatical errors just a little enhancement is required.the writing is somehwat great
Compelling entrance into the story hooks me immediately. Can't wait for future updates, I hope this keeps going for a long time. There were a few grammatical errors, but I don't think anybody's too bothered about that fact. Love the concept of a hybrid half-beast. Good Luck!
Strengths - Your work shows great efforts being put into setting up the characters' relationships. - Concept of a half-beast MC seems interesting. Doesn't see that very often (then again, I don't read cultivation novel that much) - The writing is relatively typo-free. Weaknesses: - Character description is somewhat lacking. Aside from the horn, what does Chase look like? - An explanation of why he needs to get in the academy? What kind of jobs can cultivators do? Do they get salaries or something? And even if he gets into the academy, how does he afford the tuition fee? Or is it free? - This is more like my personal bias, but I zone out everytime I read meditating or cultivating scenes. Something about it just bores me. Again, just my opinion. Some other nitpickings: - Many expositions are done by the MC talking to himself. "I finally got this Stone Essence, now I can finally start cultivating the technique teacher provided to me." ... " The strength of my body has improved greatly, there's no disruption on the flow of Spirit Energy." I find them quite awkward. You might want to consider changing those lines into third person narration. "He made it! He's finally bought these stone essences! Now he can...". Just a suggestion, though. - Thoughts are sometimes put in quotation marks, sometimes aren't - Awkward phrasing: bubbles can also be found from his mouth (I assume you're trying to say someone's foaming at the mouth) - Split up long paragraphs. From chap 4 I see many long paras. Quite hard to read with phones. Keep writing. You'll definitely get better!