Crystal Visions

Stiffening, Chang could not believe what she just heard, her dad had never said that in her memories.

Looking up at her Dad, she stuttered.

"Wait, w-what did you just say?"

Smiling down at her, causing his dimples to show and made his dark blue eyes, the same as hers sparkle.

"I've really missed you as well sweetie." Spreading his arms wide to hold his daughter.

He felt warm, real and alive, she could hear his heartbeat and feel him breathing. He smelled like leather from the aftershave he used and like home. Tightly gripping the flannel shirt he wore, Chang took it all in.

"I missed you Daddy." His large, warm hand spread on her back, holding her close. Feeling his warmth again and the special hug he used to give, the pain from losing him came back afresh. Shaking her head, she tried to shake loose the tears that kept rising, it felt like she was always crying lately. Her Dad chuckled, rumbling deep in his chest.

"Now now, dont cry. You should smile."

"I try Dad, everyday I really do, but it's so hard sometimes.. I wish this was real dad, and not just a dream, we really need you.."

"What did I teach you? Everything is only as real as you make it or believe it to be. If you think it is real, then it just might be." Chuckling Chang shook her head, hearing one of her dad's philosophies. "And did I truly ever leave you, don't I live in your hearts everyday?"

"I'm really glad I can see you, pictures aren't enough and there aren't enough of those. Please just stay with me a while, I don't really care if it's real or not, I just need you here right now. Nothing seems to make sense anymore."

Squeezing her shoulder, her father pushed her back so that they could see each other's faces. Scrubbing the tears from her face, Chang looked at his serene face touched by a hint of sadness.

"I wish this could last forever, and I could have stayed for you both, but it can't, I couldn't. I'm only here in your mind and heart, but I will always be here for you. I'm gone though and you should be spending your time with the living, instead of lingering on a memory. I need you to take care of your mom and yourself for me. Can you do that for me please sweetie?"

"Why are you talking like you're gonna go, it's my dream, can't you stay?" Shaking his head slowly, Chang felt her heart twist. "Please don't go yet, just a little longer please, there's so much I wanted to tell you, so much I still need to ask! I'll try to keep the promise I made to you and take care of mom, I haven't done a good job, but I'll be better. I promise, just don't leave me again yet, I'm not ready." Gritting her teeth Chang hung her head.

"I can't." Squeezing her shoulder tighter in apology, her father spoke sadly. "Take care of each other, all right?" Nodding her head in agreement, Chang felt his hand lift away. "Besides, I'm not the one you actually wanted to see right now."

Looking up Chang no longer saw her father sitting on the stump beside her, but instead Jian sat beside her looking out of place in his suit. Seeing his heart stopping smile slowly growing on his face, Chang felt her heart start to race. Shaking her head, Chang pushed away from him and stood up when he leaned forward towards her.

"No, not like this, not now." Staring at the pine and sequoia needles matting the ground around them, Chang walked to put some distance between them. Holding her arms across her chest, she kept her back to the image of Jian. "I want to see you and talk to you, but not like this.."

Standing there, looking out at the landscape from her memories, she did not hear him approach, but felt her hair being moved. As his hands moved to either side of her shoulder, Chang heard and felt Jian whisper into her ear.

"I need you to wake up. We need to talk."

Like a cue, Chang snapped her eyes open to see a tiled blue ceiling in front of her instead of the light-speckled redwoods. Turning her head to the left she saw Jian sitting on the edge of the bed, holding one of her long locks in between a forefinger and his thumb. With the light coming in from behind him, his already shadowed face was partially hidden in darkness.

"Hey." Looking up at him, Chang slowly smiled as she called out to him, unsure of quite what to say at first.

Hearing her call out to him, Liang JianAmal turned to look at her. Seeing the soft smile growing on her face, and the way she looked at him, he could feel the load of impatience and anger that had built up start to dissipate. The red-eye flight through the night had left him drained, but it was all worth it.

"Sorry for being away for so long, there were many matters I needed to attend to."

"It's OK, I'm just glad you're back." Smiling a small crooked smile. Before seeing him there had been so much she had wanted to tell him and ask him but the tangle of emotions upon seeing him again made her lose them.

"Bad dream?" Wiping a tear from her cheek with his thumb as he helped her sit up, Chang shook her head.

"Not really bad, just kinda sad. I dreamed about my dad.. and you."

"A dream involving me was sad, why would that be?"

Before she could, her belly answered for her with a long audible gargle, that even two fists to her stomach could not stifle. Feeling herself turning bright red, Chang looked away from his gaze.

"Let us eat first and we can talk."