I'm sorry

Where did I fuck up on? Why did you lose feelings for me? Is it cuz the people around you influenced you?

I want to get high. Fucking Hell! It hurts. I fell for her, but I fell to hard. I hit rock bottom.

Today I thought I was fine, but I saw her again. I used to think people who got their hearts broken were pussys. Now I realize, it really does hurt. I feel like I'm being pummeled inside. Stabbed, burned, poisoned. It's painful. It really is.

I don't know if I should feel dissapointed in myself. I mean, I just got high again. Fuck. I might relapse. Actually, I probably am having a relapse. I mean the pills numb the pain, and the weed makes me think of other things. I admit, I'm going down a wrong road.

I hate this! Everything. My uncle died, she left me, and a three month anniversary since Jo passed. Kind of a fucked up week huh? Super fucked up week.

"I hate you, but love you

So what am I supposed to do

When I want to be near

but fear getting close to you"

Poem by me: I love/hate

Sincerely:Calamity