Chapter 1

Prologue

The God paced paced amongst his Shadows as the vision of the Shadowmancer bowed his head, "My Highest Lord, I-I-I'm sorry. King Edrugard has sent Síle to hunt us down. All of your Disciples are dead, except for Lord Degelfyr."

"No." The Deity clenched a hand in his hair.

"Highest Lord, please, you must save us."

"I can do nothing for you. You are destined to die." The Shadowmancer's face fell as his God turned his back to him. "Hope that she kills you quickly."

His body faded out of the Veil. It's been five years since he was banished; five years and he could already feel himself losing his mind. The gateway out had been barricaded, he couldn't even leave his own realm. All he had were his Shadows to keep him company.

One caressed his dark robes, whispering apologies and grief.

The God reached a hand down to stroke the cold cheek of his creation. "I was stupid. I should have expected more from them. This loss is my doing."

He looked out to the ground, charred with shadow. He looked to the skeletons of castles and empires that once loomed over the worlds, but were left to rot ceaselessly in his domain.

"But I can already see a better future." He twisted his hands to form a vision of the King's newborn son, fair-headed and golden eyed like his father. "I'll use your son, Edrugard. I'll use your son to ruin the name of your House."

He turned to the writhing, murmuring mass of black that shuddered whenever his eyes rested on it. "We have been wrongly punished. We have only tried to fix a mistake. The breaking of the Laws was justified by my intent! Did we intend on harming other Beings? No, we did not. But they are too blind to understand – my brothers and sisters are too deaf to hear the screams and too blind to see the stain that's been made."

He shook his head, "It is not their fault, because it wasn't them that bested me. It is their children that must pay!"

The Veil howled.

"They came together, against their parents' wishes! They are the traitors; they are the ones that deserve to rot away! But as long as I remain a God, they will always best me. Therefore, I must become Fate."

Amazed, the Shadows came closer to him.

"I will rebuild my armies under the rule of Edrugard's boy. He is where we'll start. I will make him love our cause, and all of the Druids will love our cause; they will love me."

The God opened his arms and let his Shadows embrace him, singing of how all would bow and die before him.

Chapter 1

I snatched the remote off the coffee table and shut the TV off.

"Hey!"

"When I said 'We're going to talk', I didn't mean later."

Jim crossed his arms over his greasy shirt and mass of fat, not even bothering to sit up from the couch. "What do you want?"

"I want to know where my beers went."

He rolled his eyes. "You're talking about the bottles that have been in there for months?"

I raised a finger. "You better change your fucking tone with me, Jim, because I'm not in a mood for your shit."

"Can you just turn the TV back on?"

"Did you drink the six-pack I bought?"

"Avi, stop being such a bitch and turn the goddamn TV back on!"

"Don't call me a bitch and answer my question."

He growled, struggling to pull himself to sit up, "Yeah, I drank your beer. Gimme the remote."

"I knew it. You're a selfish asshole! You know I work full time and that I don't get to drink!"

"Oh my God! And to think that I was having a good night! Thanks for ruining it!"

I threw the remote into the sink. "Fuck you, fat ass!" I opened the fridge and I smashed his beer bottles on the floor. "Look at all the fucking booze you buy! I've never touched one beer because you bought it with your money!"

He grabbed at his hair, finding the strength to stand up. "Stop! Stop! Holy shit, Avi, just stop!"

'Break a bottle over his head.'

"You waste my money, watching TV and eating and eating and eating! I have to go shopping every two damn days because you just eat everything!"

"You know I have a problem, Avi!"

I ripped the shelves out from the fridge, letting more bottles shatter. "Yeah, and I paid for a therapist! But you skipped out on every appointment!"

I took my wallet from the purse on the counter. I tore out the membership cards and threw them at him. "I've paid for three gym memberships but you have never gone to any of them! You don't have an excuse anymore!"

"It's not my fault that you leave me unsupervised!" He shouted.

'Gods, just kill him, Avi. Look at him, he's so fragile and fat and juicy. I bet he'd bleed easily.'

I bit my tongue so hard that I tasted blood. All I wanted was a drink. That's all I wanted. I made a plan tonight, I was going to take the six-pack to bed while he watched TV and I was going to watch Netflix on my phone. I just wanted a beer to cool down. I was so tired and I just wanted a beer. But, of course, Jim had to take that from me too.

He lifted his head, running a hand through his greasy brown hair. "Look, just because you own this place, doesn't mean that you own me."

The voice chortled, 'Kill him. Kill him, right now.'

I licked the tip of my canines. "Do not even go there with me."

"Oh, but I want to go there. You act like just because you gave me a place to stay, that I no longer have rights! Why don't you just go steal some booze from the bar you work at, since you're so fucking tough."

You'd better shove your thumbs in his sockets and make him squeal.

"You eat my food, you drink my water, you use my electricity, and if it weren't for me, you'd be homeless. The one – and only – goddamn rule I gave you, was: don't touch the shit I buy for myself. And you couldn't even follow that one."

"Shut the fuck up, Avi."

I stormed to him, crushing the smashed glass from under my shoes. He lifted his chin as I came toe-to-toe. If I wanted to, I could've taken a knife to his triple chins and watched him-

'Stop it!'

'Just kill him, Avi!'

"Tell me to shut the fuck up again."

He shoved me. "Get the fuck out of my face."

I pushed him harder. I pushed him so hard that he dented the wall. "Fuck!"

I headed into his room and pulled all his food-stained clothes from the drawers. I opened the door and walked down the hall, past the other apartment doors. Jim followed me, begging and crying.

After coming down the stairs and thundering through the lobby, I dropped his clothes at a sewer grate. People stopped walking and turned to Jim as he came outside. "Avi, please, baby, oh my God, please." He sobbed. "Stop it, stop making a scene in the middle of the city, baby, please."

"I work full time" I pointed across the street to the bar, "over there. I work in a short ass skirt and a crop top, serving people. I work hard for tips so that I can pay off my electric bill, I never take time off, and I never get time to myself! You work part time as a janitor at a casino that no one goes to anymore. The one time I want to stay up late and have fun, you take that fun from me!"

He looked to all the people that were pulling out their phones to record us and started wiping his face.

A foolish scowl darkened his ugly face. "Remember that I'm the only person you have in that apartment. You don't have fun because you don't have friends."

My nails cut my palms and my knuckles popped, one by one.

"You were gonna drink that beer all on your own, weren't you? You were gonna get drunk and cry yourself to sleep, because you know you don't have anyone else but me!"

The other people washed away from around me, leaving a dark path that led from me to him. Now, we were alone. I could kill him and no one would know. I would have if the burning of my wrist hadn't pulled me back to the world of neon lights and curious phones.

This was the first time I had to restrain myself from killing someone. Even my tattoo was eager to kill him. It was burning underneath the black bandana wrapped around my wrist. I wouldn't give it the satisfaction of looking at it.

'Stop.'

My heart was in my brain, throbbing so loudly that I could barely hear myself breathe. The adrenaline was consuming me. I couldn't risk going to prison. I worked too hard to lose my life to a human.

I went back inside. Trying to keep myself steady as the other personality started to fight me.

'Go back there and rip out his heart. '

It was making the world wobble. I staggered down the hall, trying to hold myself straight. "I don't take orders from you."

I ran into my apartment and I hit the edge of the counter. Fingers slowly came from the corners of my eyes to cover them.

I clawed at them but never managed to touch anything. I slammed into the bathroom door as everything was beginning to blur. I opened the mirror above the sink, searching for the familiar orange pill bottle.

'Stop fighting me!'

I fumbled the cap off and popped two pills into my mouth.

The persona forced the scars on my back to catch fire. 'You can deny who you are but I won't let you deny me!' It roared.

I drank from the sink to help the meds down. I lied on the floor and waited for the effects to stop.

That voice wanted me to kill Jim for the past two years. It's not that I wouldn't have gladly done so, but I would have been tried for murder. I could've escaped and hid from the police, but then I'd to move and rebuild my life again.

It took an hour for the voice to be fully dormant. I pulled myself back to my feet, catching myself in the mirror.

I was a shapely woman with muscles toning every inch of my body. My skin was a color found in the rarest of places. Some would call it caramel, others would call it golden brown. I thought it more of a naturally medium tan that had been highlighted by the sun's aureate rays.

I looked down at my arms. Pallid, jagged, repulsive, scars stretched and dotted my skin. Every time I looked at them, I could feel them burn. Like my shame and pride were smoking out from my flesh. I would never cover them to hide them. There was nothing to hide but the truth.

I had a long, proud face that was framed by a mass of brown coils. My beautifully full lips needed some Chapstick and my mouth really needed to smile.

A memory taunted me in the brown of my eyes, a memory of the times I laughed just because I could laugh. I remembered the glow my face once had. I didn't used to just be Avi that works at Jerry's bar, I used to be more.

I ran my cold hand down my face. I rubbed at my left cheek that held a pale scar trailing from the bridge of my nose, to the end of my jaw. My gaze ran past my mouth, landing uncomfortably on the scar on my neck.

I put a hand to the faint outline of leather burn. Whenever I looked at it, I felt a slight rush of panic tumble into my stomach. I would never forget that fear; the fear of losing my oat mush to the rats, the fear of getting eaten alive by the roaches, the fear of hearing my door open. And the only glimmer of hope tha shone through that fear was the hope that I'd die in my sleep.

I got dressed in some ripped jeans and my black and white striped, cropped, tank top. I got into checkered sunflower vans along with my denim jacket. The jacket was a gift from the manager of my apartment building. It had a nice cotton hood and a wolf patch on my arm that said 'Wolves Don't Lose Sleep Over the Opinion of Sheep'. I slipped forty dollars into my pocket which already held a lighter.

I slipped out of the building to a package store. I bought a six pack of Coors light and a pack of their shittiest cigarettes.

When I came back, I stopped outside the doors. I traced the brick pattern with a stare until I saw the lip of the roof. I didn't want to go inside to be cooped up like an animal. I just wanted to be outside.

I took a running start to the wall and kicked up to the exterior metal stairway. I caught the railing, pulled myself up, and made my way to the roof.

From up on that roof, the traffic echoed through the labyrinth of skyscrapers and stores. I watched the drug dealers hand off cocaine while teens wandered, spraying beautiful works of art on the side of buildings and kicking each other.

In the room directly underneath me, I heard music playing. It was a Selena Gomez song. Under the rhythm, a girl was crying and her mother was soothing her.

In Los Angeles, one didn't need to have an amazing sense of smell to catch the scent of heartbreak lining the thick fumes of exhaust to know that heartbreak was here. Everywhere you turned, someone was doing something terrible or felt sad. Humans think LA as some wonderland, but that's because their eyes can only see so much.

The city is a ruthless place. It could even be more ruthless than the raw forest.

I took out a cigarette, mumbling to myself, "I should know, I lived in one for two decades."

Then came that little voice in the back of my mind, Smoking? After three years of quitting, you go back to bad habits?

I lit the end with my lighter. "It's not like smoking is gonna kill me." I took a drag, rolling the smoke over my tongue before I let it join the neon-burnt air. I glanced at the glowing end. "This really is a shit brand."

'Then why smoke it?'

'Because I feel like shit and nothing is going to make me feel better. So, I'm staking this out by smoking an equally shitty cig.'

I listened to the song and found I kind of liked it. I didn't care much for Selena Gomez or Justin Bieber or any of the big names for that matter.

'I'm the only person you have in that apartment.' He had said.

I laughed as I took a can from the pack.

'You don't have friends.' He had said.

I laughed harder, tasting the cold beer. It tasted so fucking good.

'I had friends, once.'

I emptied the can in one sitting and tossed it aside, opening another one. I followed Selena Gomez's voice as I feasted on the fruits of my labor. I followed her into a trance that kept a bag over my head, forcing me to fall asleep.

--

"Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee: blessed art thou among women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus."

The words turned to acid on my tongue, but I said them. I said them even as I coughed blood and my body broke itself.

He kicked me down and beat me. He was so angry that I just couldn't do what I was told. I couldn't bow to my master because he wasn't my leader, I couldn't recite the prayers because Christ was not my messiah, and I couldn't be killed because I didn't want to die.

--

I woke with my nails in my arms. I'd blanketed myself in cigarette butts and empty cans. I rolled to my side, thankful that I'd asked my boss to give me a day off. It was definitely sometime in the afternoon.

I climbed down the staircase to the sidewalk and walked into the lobby.

The lobby had this weird white tiled floor, veined lightly with black paint. The walls were made of finished wood. Overall, it was a weird place. The counter especially was weird. The counter was made of white stone but the rest of it was painted maroon. Behind the counter was the Manager in his weird red uniform. He'd fallen asleep again.

I took off my jacket and threw it over him. I looked at his watch. It was two in the afternoon, which meant I still had time. Time to do what? I didn't do anything outside of work, it's why I didn't take days off.

I went up to my apartment, bored.

For an hour, I vacuumed and dusted and cleaned. I cleaned Jim's room, killing the swarm of fruit flies and spiders. I wiped down everything besides the ceiling.

Even after all of that, I still had a few hours. I sat at the island in my kitchen, fumbling with the rim of the bandana at my wrist. The day couldn't go by any slower. I felt every second tick in my nerves, almost making me twitch.

"I should paint the walls." I sighed, putting a hair band on my arm. "I always wanted to paint this kitchen. Maybe a dark teal? I could change the backwash so it's not white."

The voice returned, 'Why don't you ask the others?'

"You're not funny."

'Hey, you're the one that ran away from them. You left the only people who really cared about you. Kudos to your dumbass.'

I went to my bedroom to organize my drawers…again. I pulled them out and refolded my clothes. Something fell out from a dress I picked up to hang in my closet. It was a necklace that Jim had bought me a while ago. I thought he cared about me, until I found out that he got it from the dollar store. I threw it out the window.

'That necklace was probably more expensive than the old one you had.'

"Why are you bringing the past up, all of a sudden?" I asked, putting the drawers back in their proper place.

'You forgot to do the bottom drawer.'

"You know what's in there and why I don't want to look at it."

'Oh, because you love living like this?'

I walked to the fridge. "Of course, I don't. But I'm not so easy to find when I'm living as a human, am I?"

'I cannot believe you're hiding from your own friends.'

"They're not my friends."

'You called them your friends, last night.'

"Friends don't hurt friends."

'Oh, shut up.'

I escaped the apartment walls by going to the lobby again. Eustace was still asleep. I took the money in the pocket and left.

I went to another package store, bought more beer and another pack of cigarettes. Some woman who chewed her gum too loud was wearing a pair of rose gold aviator sunglasses rimmed in gold. I followed her down a block before kicking my foot out to trip her. She stumbled. I snatched them off her face and ran. Surprisingly, she was able to catch up to me.

I easily quickened the pace to an inhuman level of speed. It wasn't hard to lose her after that. I put the sun glasses on, smiling. It had been a while since I had run that quick.

'Yeah, that ability isn't gone, yet. It will be soon.'

I snuck into a dark space where the sun couldn't touch me. What does that mean? I tossed the beers on the ground and put a cigarette in my mouth.

'It means,' it said as I dug in my pockets for my lighter, 'that you probably lost your power to do simple things like Charming and turning a glass of water into a glass of ice.'

Damn, I left my lighter in my jacket. 'Is that so?' I snapped my fingers.

'You've been dormant for how many years? Three? It's like exercising, Avi, if you don't do it regularly, you lose your progress.'

I snapped my fingers a second time. Sparks flew as magic gathered at my fingertips. The more I tried, the more frustrating it became to create a simple flame at the tip of my thumb.

'You can't even light your cigarette anymore.'

Someone came in the alley, shadowed by a hood with a backpack hanging on one shoulder. "Hey, you waiting for someone or you lookin' for a guy with dope?"

I perked, "You have pot?"

"I might, depending on how much you got with you."

"How much will five bucks get me?"

"A pound."

I took a twenty from my pocket. He reached into his backpack and took out four pounds of pot in saran wrap. He stopped when sunlight reflected off a car window and hit me, showing my face.

He took a knife from his pocket.

'You have a fan, Avi.'

I took off the glasses, tossing them onto my beer.

He threw his backpack at me. I stepped aside to avoid it and smacked the weapon out of his hand. He swung a fist. I grabbed his wrist, pulling him to me and slamming my head into his face. He fell onto his back, completely dazed.

I searched him, finding a lighter and a wallet on him. I took his lighter and left two pounds of pot in the pockets of his hoodie, just because I felt bad. I put my beer in his backpack and zipped it up.

I lit a cigarette, taking a drag of it as I walked away. "If you knew me, why the hell did you even try? You knew you'd lose."

I came back to the building at seven in the evening. Eustace was still asleep.

That's okay, I thought, he's old and needs the sleep. No one comes here anyways.

I opened all of my windows when I got to my apartment and I smoked a few blunts. Luckily, I still had plenty of rolling paper from when I used to smoke.

The high was so good when it settled.

I watched headlights reflect into my room. I listened to the little humans walking and stumbling while the pigeons flew to escape the noises.

'you probably lost your power to do simple things'

'No, I haven't.'

'Oh?' The voice purred. 'Prove me wrong.'

I took a glass from one of the cabinets and filled it with water. I set it on the counter.

Winds and ice barreled, caressing my lungs as I focused them on the water. Frost crystals gathered on the surface. I willed it to freeze the entire glass, but it betrayed me. It climbed up my spine and coated my ribs. I fell into the fridge when my legs became numb to the cold.

'Wow. You didn't believe me?'

My tattoo was biting at the skin, seething acid into my veins while twisting barbed wire in my flesh. I tore off the cloth to let it breathe.

The swirls turned into targets; big red ones that screamed 'Come and get me'.

The tattoo – the Triskele, as my people called it – was nothing but another way for other Races to classify us. The Triskele was a symbol of unity. I saw it as a stamp, like the ones on packages and letters. It made us objects.

But no matter how much I detested it, I always found myself appreciating it. It turned heads and I liked that.

I liked having eyes widen on me as I passed. I liked being the pretty thing that you couldn't touch.

'You like a lot of things, Avi.'

I tied the bandana over the symbol. 'Shut up.'

'You like the sound a blade makes when you're wiping the blood off of it.'

I went to the bathroom and took out my pills.

'Why don't you do the things you like? You might feel happy if you did.'

I stopped in front of my window with a blunt in my hand and my medication in the other. I took the pills dry, biting my tongue to keep myself from throwing them up.

In that moment, I felt truly human.

I woke up on the island, my face plastered to the counter. My alarm was going off in my bedroom.

I got up, shut off my alarm, and headed to my bathroom. I took a beer from the fridge and brought it into the shower with me. My clock said that I had an hour and a half before I had to go to work, meaning I had plenty of time.

Through the walls, I heard my neighbor listening to the news.

Human politics got progressively worse every year. I didn't know how I'd live through another year of having to suffer because of some conflict going on in Washington. Since November – since that gods damn election – humans have become beasts. They spit all their hatred towards politics and blamed all their problems on politics.

Maybe politics were to blame, since most politicians were corrupt. But what good was blaming it? What would it change?

I was sick of hearing it. I just didn't want to listen to the bullshit, I just wanted to live my life.

I stepped out of the shower, wringing out my hair as I drank my beer. I put hair serum in my hair, scrunching it with my fingers to make it coil. I wrapped myself up into a towel and came out to make myself a bagel, egg and cheese sandwich with my beer.

I slipped into my dark green T-shirt with the logo 'Jerry's Tavern' in large white letters. I shoved bobby pins into my hair after curling it into a bun and sprayed some perfume on. I took my pills, brushed my teeth, grabbed my purse, my keys, and made sure that my knife was hidden under the junk in my purse, then I left.

When I reached the lobby, the manager was waiting at the counter.

"Oh, look who's finally awake."

He turned. His rosy cheeks highlighted his ginger bearded. Gods, he was really getting old. Grey hair was beginning to tease the edges of his hair.

"Yes, finally. I really need to sleep." He said, smiling. "How was your day off?"

"It was…eventful."

"How so?"

"I kicked Jim out."

"No!"

"Yeah."

He ran around the counter and hugged me. "Finally, oh my God, I felt so bad for you. What did he do?"

"He called me a bitch."

"Wow."

"Yeah." I looked at his name tag. "Hey, you finally got a new name tag!"

"Yes, they fixed the typo. I'm no longer Eugene Goode, but Eustace Goode."

"Nice." I grabbed his wrist to look at his watch. "I have ten minutes before I'm late. I've got to go." I ran for the door. "Bye Eustace!"

I ran across the crosswalk and to the giant window that said 'Jerry's Bar' in cursive. The others were already waiting for me inside. I strutted in, opening my arms, "Hello, ladies."

The fake blonde, Rachel, beamed under too much makeup. "Avi."

"How was your day off yesterday?" Lucie boomed, throwing on her greasy apron.

"It was great, thank you for asking. How was that date you went on?"

"He bailed."

"What a jerk."

"Right?"

I eyed the tin lanterns that hung from the oak ceiling. The walls inside the bar were painted fern green. Taking up the entire left wall was the wooden bar and stools. All to the right, sat tables and booths. In the far-right corner was the kitchen and the cubbies. To the far-left corner were the bathrooms.

I went to the cubbies next to the entrance of the kitchen and threw my purse down.

"Is that my favorite waitress?" The door to the men's bathroom, opened.

I faced my boss, "Is that my favorite mild-aged, balding, bartender?"

Jerry was a white male, a veteran, around his late-forties. He was starting to bald, so he grew a mustache to make up for the lack of hair on his head. I loved to poke fun at him about it. He had kind brown eyes, and a tender smile. He was said to make the best margaritas in a ten-mile radius.

"You're damn right it is." He wiped down the bar. "How was your first day off?"

"Fucking amazing."

"Mm."

"How was a day without my gorgeousness to brighten the room?"

He smiled, "Just know that we missed you." He slapped my shoulder. "Go flip the sign, we need to get started."

It was the usual day: served over three hundred tables, had a few picky customers that made me run back and forth to get napkins, a baby or two that threw their spaghetti on the ground. There was nothing out of the ordinary.

After hours of serving and taking orders, people were starting to leave. "Finally, we can go home." Rachel yawned, crossing off February twentieth on the calendar in the kitchen. "Willow's coming in from Texas tomorrow!"

"Great, she'll just be racking up all the tips." I sighed.

We said our goodbyes before parting ways. I passed through the lobby, said goodnight to Eustace and went to bed.

Like every morning, I jerked myself awake, screaming and writhing. I waited for my body to unclench before I got up to grab a beer and eat breakfast.

I turned on my TV, microwaving an egg in a bowl. Then I noticed the strangest thing. I saw that there was a 'YouTube' button at the bottom of my remote. I clicked it. Videos appeared on my TV screen. There were giant lines of faces and bright pictures. All of the videos were about something stupid. In the end, I searched up some music and listened to a few songs after I ate.

I ironed my uniform, did my hair, shut off my TV and left.

"Morning, Avi."

"Morning, Eustace. Bye." I entered the bar. "Hey, guys."

Willow, the black-haired beauty, came out from the kitchen and gave me a hug. "I missed you, did you miss me?"

"Of course, I did. How was Texas?"

"Hot and muggy. How was your first day off? I heard it was fantastic."

"I mean, I got drunk."

"How else would you spend a day off?"

People flooded in and they took their seats. Tourists passed through, taking pictures of everything they saw. I met a few kind people and made small chit chat with them. I even got told by a few of the regulars that I looked much better than I usually did. The day seemed brighter than usual, even though the sun was always beaming down upon the poor citizens of LA, everyone appeared to be in good spirits.

When I served steaks and salads to table three, Jerry called me over as he poured mint vodka into a cup of ice cubs, "Can you do me a favor? Go to table seven and serve a mojito this guy ordered, Willow's got her hands full with another table."

"I'm on it." I took the cup and made my way to table seven. I placed the mojito on the table, looking to the patron with his face stuck in a menu. I patted the table to catch his attention. "Here you are, sir. I'll be your waitress for the day."

The man's reddish-brown head peeked over his menu. He was an average looking human, he had a strong face and brown eyes. There wasn't much to say about him. "Hi, thanks."

I took out the notebook from my waist. "Are you ready to order?"

"Yes, ma'am." He put down the menu. "Just so you know, you'll be seeing my face more often around here. I'll be a regular for now on. I live down the street, you see, and I just moved."

"Ah, where from?"

"Minnesota."

"Ouch. Pretty cold up there, isn't it?"

"Yeah, oddly enough though, I was never much for the cold season. I always took vacations to California and I loved them. I decided to move here when I got old enough." He opened his arms. "Here I am. Got off the flight a few hours ago."

"I see. Well, you must be hungry."

"Starving. But I've never been here before and I wonder if you have a recommendation? Name's Ronnie, by the way."

"Ronnie. Alright, I'll remember that. I'd recommend our turkey burger with lettuce, tomato, onion, ketchup, swiss cheese, and pickles. The burger can come with fries or salted potato chips. That's about fifteen dollars."

He handed me his menu. "Sold."

I jotted it down in my notebook and nodded, "I'll be back."

I served two other tables before I returned with his burger with the side of French fries.

I placed Ronnie's food on his table. "Damn."

"I know, it's huge. Maybe you should use a fork and a knife?"

"That is absolute blasphemy. I'm eating this with my hands."

I wanted to roll my eyes. "If you say so."

I raced back to the kitchen, peeking over at Ronnie as he tried to eat the burger with his hands. It wasn't going well, but he managed it. He stayed for a few hours; mostly texting on his phone, patting his bulging stomach, and sipping his mojito.

It was thirty minutes from closing time. Customers were starting to leave, but Ronnie came up to me. "Hey, don't mean to be a creep or anything, but I noticed you don't really look like a California girl."

"You're sharp. I moved here from Connecticut, three years ago."

"You traveled a long way."

"Yeah."

"Why'd you move?"

"Family, friends, jerks, my career, stuff like that. It was too stressful on my mind."

"What kind of a career did you have?"

"I was in business...sorta." I chuckled, looking to the clock. "It's nine thirty. Sorry, Ronnie, we're officially closed."

I helped Lucie scrub the grill after most of my coworkers left, then I hung up the aprons on the hooks in the kitchen. I grabbed my purse and made my way through the door. I stopped at the crosswalk, waiting for the screen to say 'walk'. I walked across the street, looking to the waiting traffic. Something darted from one car to the other.

I watched it vanish into the darkness of a skyscraper. At first, I thought it was a paper because it was flat. I knew better than that. I put a hand to the knife in my bag as I entered the building.

"Good night, Eustace."

"Night, Avi. Sleep well."

"Thanks, you too."

Two pills and a blunt before bed.

I woke up relatively early the next morning. My alarm hadn't even gone off. I climbed into my window to look at the city as its night owls turned in for the morning and the go-getters rose to buzz around.

I remembered the green of trees and the grass under my feet for me to tease with my toes. I'd get up every morning to race the trail with my little brother. I'd always win, of course, but he was always a good sport about losing. And there was my father and his best friend, my mentor. She taught me everything from hunting to sewing.

--

The color in the sky was erased by the arrival of the lasting winter. There was a small nip in the air which plucked the leaves off the trees overhead. I watched the herd of deer from up in the trees. My mentor leaned in over my shoulder. Nothing went unseen from her vigilant silver stare.

"Always learn the pattern of your game." She whispered.

I nodded, watching how the does crowded around the head buck. The thick wool shirt and tight breeches we were wearing were so damn uncomfortable, but she said that if I complained, she'd kick me out of the tree. So, I said nothing.

"If you kill the leader, then another will take its place and the pattern will change. It's important to pick off the sick or the young." She pinched the tip of my ear. "And I told you to tie up your hair."

I slapped her hand away. "I knew we weren't going to actually get the herd, so why would I need to tie up my hair? I'm not hunting."

"But you could become the game very quickly. You won't get very far when your hair gets in your face and a Hunter shoots you in the back."

Her stout, elegant face was hardened with battle. She had beautifully straight hair colored ash blonde. She was the fastest fighter in the entire camp. I loved and admired her.

She stood, "C'mon, let's go find your brother."

I leapt to another tree, keeping my steps light as not to startle the herd. "He's probably lost."

"You're probably right." She smiled. I looked at my feet. "What's wrong?"

"Oscar challenged me yesterday. I wanted to hit him. Mama told me that hitting people was bad."

She put a hand under my chin. "Humans believe in turning the other cheek." She made me look at her. She filled me with a pride that I find on my own. "We believe in biting that cheek."

"But mama-"

"Your mother and your father follow the human's rules. That's their choice. You get to decide if you want follow our rules – your brother's father's rules are our rules. The next time Oscar decides to challenge you or anything you stand for, know that you are allowed to bite his ear off."

"Yes."

"Yes, what?"

"Yes, Aisling ."

"Good girl. Go back to camp, and find your brother. I'll catch up."

--

I really missed her.

I did my morning routine, only, this time, I decided to click on someone's video on YouTube. As I previously thought, they were all about something stupid. But it still made me laugh. It was the way they spoke that made me laugh.

I found myself watching someone just…talk. It was a man, he was Asian, with a black mop on his head, but I liked his smile. I didn't know why I liked him so much, the only think he did was just talk about life and how happiness finds a way.

What the fuck?

Who says that? 'Happiness finds a way'. Sure, if you're privileged and your parents still tell you that the tooth fairy's real. But I still liked him, so I watched his vlogs.

It got to a point that I didn't want to work, I just wanted to listen to him. It was different to just hear about the good things in someone's life rather than all the shit. That's all I'd gotten recently, was just people's shitty lives.

I forced myself to shut the TV off and I went to work.

"Morning, Eustace."

"Morning, Avi. I'll see you later."

"Yup, bye!"

"Morning, all."

"Morning, Avi."

A few hours into my shift, a dozen people came in. They were relatively young, I guessed they were in their mid-twenties like me. Eye shadow hung heavy around their eyes as did thousands of piercings. Gold crosses hung from their necks, Latin prayers were tattooed onto the palms of their hands, and they wore the same jacket with the same patch on their arms. The patch was a skull smoking a cigarette.

They stunk of silver shavings and gun powder. There was no doubt in my mind that they were Hunters.

'Can you be more obvious?'

They hung around the bar until closing time. I was cleaning the tables when I felt one come up behind me.

"Hey, do you have a cigarette?" She asked.

I nodded, "Yeah." I pulled one out from an inside pocket of my skirt.

She made sure to brush against my skin with her silver ring, testing to see if I would burn. "Thanks, you're a doll."

I went back to cleaning. "Mm."

"Those are some gnarly-ass scars you got on your arms."

"And?"

"Do mind me asking where they're from?"

"Abuse."

I felt her eyes on my bandana. "What's under that?"

"Why so nosy?"

"Is it an embarrassing tattoo?"

Fuck, she was cornering me. "Didn't your mom ever tell you to ask for a girl's number before you ask about her tattoos?"

"You got something to hide?"

I turned, forcing her jacket open to unveil the gun in her belt. "You gotta license for that thing or should I just call nine-one-one now?"

She sucked on her teeth. "We'll come back for you."

"I'm just living, you're the one that's trying to start something."

"Can you just punch me so I can shoot you already?"

"Why don't you go back to college, you fucking dropout?"

She backed up to her friends, pointing to me, "We will so be back for your ass."

I put the cleaning spray back under the sink. 'When will you people learn to stay your lane?'

"Bye, everyone."

"Bye, Avi."

I walked across the street. "Good night, Eustace."

"Night, Avi."

I went upstairs, took my pills, went to bed.

That was how humans lived. They lived with their lives on repeat, seemingly having no choice. It was so tiring, just running in circles…It's like when you find that one song you listen to for weeks until you get tired of it, only I couldn't turn it off.

How could anyone live like this for sixty years, I wondered.

'Am I going to live like this for sixty years?'

After asking myself that, I found that I couldn't sleep. I was too sick to my stomach to go to sleep. I couldn't bring myself to digest my breakfast the next morning. I really didn't know how long I would last.

~

Gracalituma

I took the pizza charm out from under black crop top. I ran my thumb along the fading gold color. We needed to find her.

"So," Yawned Esther, tying her dark hair into a ponytail as the rest of our group came off the bus. "this is LA."

She was so eager to go on this trip. Ever since we tortured the soldier and he told us that she'd be in California, Esther had been ecstatic. It was normal for her to be bubbly, but not like this; her petite features were absolutely glowing, especially her plainly brown eyes.

I pulled my hair out from under my floral cardigan. A few loose strands flew around my face from the golden mane I carried freely. I hoisted my cuffed skinny jeans to cover my butt. I could tell I needed new pants. I felt a bit proud of myself for buying mirrored sunglasses to hide my eyes.

"Yes, this is LA. And Avi is here, somewhere." I said.

Finn pressed his water bottle to his neck before opening it and dousing his burgundy, brown hair in cold water. "It's fucking hot." His cognac stare traced the outlines of sky scrapers. "God, why is it so hot?" Every handsome, chiseled part of his strong face was coated in sweat.

"Because I'm here." Saeva grinned. Though she didn't like the day, the sun seemed to enhance the rich tan of her skin. She pulled her charred hair from her feline face to make sure she'd be seen by every passerby.

Naia eyed Saeva's black leather jacket with her scrutinous sea green gaze. "Really, Saeva, must you wear that thing everywhere?" She fumbled with the tips of her ash brown hair. She'd recently gotten it cut to her shoulders, long in the front and gradually shorter in the back.

"Don't even talk about my bad habits, Naia, because you drink tea in ninety-degree heat." The Italian retorted with a laugh.

Finn rested against his beautiful, blue-eyed sister. "It's hot, Céleste." He whined.

She pushed him back. "Watch my hair, please, I worked hard on it today."

Céleste has always been careful of her hair, but that was because she knew how valuable it was to have natural dirty blonde curls that led down to the small of her back. She brushed off her white mini skirt, running her fingers on the sewn roses and lilies. "Finn has a point, it's hot out here." I couldn't help but trace the galaxy of freckles that flowed across the peaks of her round cheekbones.

Isra stumbled into me. She was in heels – which I told her not wear because I knew she couldn't walk in six-inch heels – in her cream romper with pink and orange flowers and blue leaves. She'd braided her long raven hair down her back on our way here. To cover the color of her eyes, she wore black sun glasses.

"It's not just hot, it's hot as balls!" She growled, chewing her gum like a cow. "I'm already, like, the rich brown color of honey. If I tan anymore, I'll be some burnt honey."

Rae pushed out from between Finn and Esther. One could tell just by looking at her permanently furrowed brow that she was easy to irritate. Even her mouth was a semi-permanent scowl. She still looked gorgeous in her shoulder-less orange crop top.

Her draconic glare silenced Isra. "The fuck did you just say? 'the rich brown color of honey'? What's that supposed to-what does that mean?"

"Aren't you worried of accidentally tanning? The sun here'll kill us."

Her eyes narrowed. "I don't get any tanner than this."

"Rae, of course you do. Your skin is a warm beige, so you have to tan. It's only logical."

"I knew it! You're looking up skin tone charts on Chrome, again!"

"Actually, it's Pinterest, and it's my phone! Why do you care what I do with it?"

"Because you just get lost in it! Honestly, it worries me."

Céleste looked to me while they argued. 'Whatcha thinking about?'

I shrugged. 'Avi, mostly. I don't know how she'll react to us.'

'She won't kill us, she's Avi.'

'For all we know, she could be living a completely different life here.'

Finn splashed water on his face. "Hot!"

"Finn, I swear to God, if you get that shit in my hair!" Céleste snapped.

Saeva unzipped her jacket to present her deep blue blouse. "Why did you make it look so good? You know we're probably not going to see her today, right?"

"I mean, yeah, but it's nice to be prepared." She played with the ends of her hair. "She always loved my hair."

"Avi loves all of us, and we love her." Esther insisted.

Isra wasn't as excited. "It sure as hell didn't look like she cared the last time we saw her."

I gave her a look. "That's because you had to speak your mind."

"Whatever, let's just find her stupid ass just so she could leave again."

Saeva glanced at me, then crossed her arms. "In all fairness, Avi's never run away from anything."

"Are we going to talk about this again?" Isra grit, trying to call over a taxi.

"No. We're going to find a place to stay." Naia nodded to me. "Grace, you said you had an idea to try and find her?"

"Yes. We'll try it tomorrow."

Finn wiped his face with his tank top. "I hope we find her."

Isra opened the door to the taxi that pulled up. "That makes one of us."

I put a hand to Esther's arm when she frowned. 'Don't worry about Isra. She'll get over it. She misses Avi, she just doesn't say anything.'

'Do you think we'll find her, Grace?' She asked.

We called over another taxi to fit the rest of us. 'We'll find out.'

~

Avigayil

--

I hit the floor of my cell with a cry.

"Confess, godless beast, to God. The satanic symbol on your wrist is evidence enough of your sins."

I saw the light of the furnaces and the singing of hot metal. Stinging pain spread all along my back, I scrambled to escape the rattling of chains. The whip cracked and struck my face. Hot tears streamed down from my eyes and over my wound. I screamed as I heard the sizzle of my skin against hot metal, my heart stopped as I heard his prayers.

He held the cross to my face, "Confess, witch of heathen gods, confess your sins before the Lord."

I heard a distant howl fall upon the corpses. The whip cracked again and it wrapped around my neck. I fell to my knees, screaming.

--

"I beg!" I cried, "I confess!" I sat up, staring the ghost of my Master in his icy eyes.

My blood was acid in my veins, burning through my skin to stream from my pores and my eyes. "I don't want to die!"

The whip cracked. It seared my cheek in a fine line. "I don't want to die!"

My door broke down. The chains rattled, threatening to hold me down. Hands took hold of me to drag me to the stocks.

I fought back, crying and pleading for my life. "I don't want to die! I have prayed! I don't want to die!"

"Avi!"

Fingers pressed against my eyes to open them. I screamed, throwing my attackers back. I smashed a window with my fist.

Arms wrapped around me, keeping me from jumping out into the free air. "Avi, stop, oh my god! Avi, please!"

I closed my eyes. Hands held me against a warm chest, stroking the top of my head. The blur of abuse and death was fading.

"It was a nightmare." He whispered.

"What the fuck is wrong with her?!" Someone shouted.

"Shut up and go back to sleep."

"No, we need to call somebody!"

Eustace whirled around, "Go back to fucking sleep, all of you!"

I listened to them leave. I gripped his shirt. "Don't leave, Eustace."

"I'm not leaving."

"Don't leave me, Eustace."

"I'm not going to leave." He helped me into the living room. "I'm not going anywhere, I swear."

He called one of his old coworkers on my home phone, telling her to come by. He never left the room, always asking me if I needed anything.

He made me hot milk with honey and threw a blanket over me. Jerry called an hour after my alarm went off. Eustace brought the phone to me.

I answered in the most broken voice, "Jerry."

"Oh my God, Avi, you sound sick."

"Not really."

"Are you okay?"

I couldn't find a way to answer without my throat tightening.

"What's wrong?" He pressed.

Eustace took the phone from me to let me finish my milk. "This is the manager of her apartment building, Eustace. She had" He looked to me for approval. I shook my head. "some type of seizure, last night."

"Oh my God, is she okay?"

"She's better now. I came into her room to give her the bandana she wears, because she dropped it. I came in and found that she'd broken a window. She was on the floor, shaking."

"Did you call a hospital?"

"Yes, well, they told me that they already gave her medication for seizures. They told me to keep an eye on her in case it started happening again."

"Is it okay for us to come see her?"

I nodded to him. Eustace put a hand on his foot, saying, "Yeah. Floor three, room twenty-one A."

"We'll be over in a few hours."

He tossed the phone at my feet, running a hand through his ginger hair.

There was a knock at the door. Eustace opened to let in Nanette Alders. She had such a kind, soft face. She tied back her tight coils and dropped her bag to rush over to me. "Oh my goodness, Avi." She was careful of my sore body when she hugged me. "I'm so glad you're okay."

"It's good to see you too." I croaked.

Nancy bent down, pulling out a box of jasmine tea. "Eustace, make a pot of this."

He took the tea and took a kettle from a bottom cabinet. "Yes, ma'am."

The woman took gentle hold of my hands. "I haven't seen you in such a long time. Eustace told me that you split from the others. What happened?"

I didn't answer that.

"Right, I'm sorry. I'm being nosy. Um…" She leaned in. "Would it be rude to ask what the nightmares are about?"

Tears welled in my eyes when Eustace called from the stove, "She said that she was abused when she was younger."

"By whom?" Nancy gasped.

"She didn't want to say."

Nancy stroked my brow. "You have so many secrets. It's awful, Avi."

'I know.'

"Never mind all that. Let me see your arms." She held my hands, eying my bloody knuckles. "What happened to her hands?"

"She broke a window and tried to jump."

"Oh, Avi!" She hugged me again.

"Nancy, please, her hands."

"Oh, right." She pulled out ointment from her bag and medical tape. "But why am I wrapping up your hands if you can regenerate?"

I cleared my throat. "I-uh-I haven't been using my magic for a while and it kinda nulled my abilities."

"You poor thing. Don't worry, I'll help. I didn't take First Aid in college for nothing."

"Thank you."

I fell asleep after Eustace gave me the tea. I didn't want to. I knew I was going to wake up shaking and sweating, but such was life.