Chapter 9

I don't know what happened, but Ah Zhen came back completely wet after being gone for three days. As I helped prepare a bath for her she did not talk to me. As I help her wash up she also did not talk to me. And as she got dressed she was still completely silent. I don't know what happened but I knew she was hurting inside. As I help Ah Zhen put on the last of her robes from behind, I couldn't help but to cross my arms around her waist.

I felt her jump a little as I quickly lay my head along her hard back. "Ah Zhen, I don't know what you are sad about, but please don't be. I don't like to see you this way. If there is anything I can do just tell me. As long as I can see your smile again," I pleaded.

After a few seconds I felt a pair of warm hands over mine. Ah Zhen gently rubs my skin before turning over to look at me. A small smile appears on her face again as she stares into my eyes. "I'm sorry Xin Yi, my mind has been stuck on other things and I forgot you were still here beside me. Let's go say goodnight to Grandfather," she suggested. I nod my head and accompany her through the nightly routine.

A few weeks flew by and I thought it was weird that Ah Zhen was no longer going to the palace, only occasionally stopping by the army camp. Then one day there was an order for Ah Zhen to enter the palace, but it was not the Emperor's order, it was the Empress Dowager. As Ah Zhen left I saw a little of discomfort on her face, but as usual Ah Zhen holds everything in.

A few hours pass and Ah Zhen returns home silently. When I ask what the Empress Dowager wanted, Ah Zhen said she was gifted with a few months off due to her good work. Although I found it a little doubtful I was happy that Ah Zhen will spend more time at home again. Just like when Grandfather Meng was still alive.

A total of five months went by, each day Ah Zhen would simply spend time with me and the rest of the servants. She would watch me dance, play Go with me, even help the old servants around the house with basic chores. It was almost like we were all one big family with no worries that could possibly bother us.

Before I knew it Ah Zhen left early one morning without me knowing again, only leaving word with the old housekeeper. I have actually been noticing odd changes in Ah Zhen's behavior within the past few months. She slowly sent many of the servants away and told me that it was because they have served her so well she wanted them to enjoy the last of their years elsewhere. She also pulled money out of the savings and started to distribute them among the servants. Although this seemed weird as many had not want to leave before, I agreed that they probably shouldn't work here anymore. Now there was only the old housekeeper and an old maid living with us now. Ah Zhen promises to hire more workers in the next month.

As the sun started to set I went back to my room to put away some of the clothes that were laid out to dry. Then I saw a figure standing by my table, it was Ah Zhen. She had come home without anyone noticing. Why?

I called out to her and she quickly turned, the smile I expected was not there. I asked her why she didn't tell me she was home, but she ignored me. "Xin Yi, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," she apologized. I was confused, I didn't understand. "Tomorrow everything will be different and I will no longer be here by your side."

My eyes immediately began to tear up as my heart pounded. I throw the clothes in my hands on the ground and grabbed her arms. "What do you mean you will no longer be here? Ah Zhen, what do you mean?" Ah Zhen's eyes also begins to redden and the tears quickly followed.

"Xin Yi, you are a very important person to me, you always were. I knew of your feelings for me since we were young, but I could not fulfill your wish. There was you and there was also Shou Yi. Both of you have given me such great love, but I couldn't give it to just one of you. And so, I decided not to give any love at all. But the least I can do right now is just to protect you both."

"Ah Zhen! What do you mean? What are you trying to say?" I screamed. I was scared, I did not want to lose her. She was all I have come to know and she was everything to me. Why must it change now?

"Xin Yi…I'm sorry…" Ah Zhen pulled her arms away from me and then I felt a great pain on my neck. My lids began to fall as I took one last look at my Ah Zhen crying…