Again? -pt11-

After calling Tae a monster, which came from the bottom of my heart, I stormed angrily back into the room I knew best. Honestly I was horrified. My hands were shaking, my eyes were flashing and my head was spinning. I couldn't let him see me like this though. He'd think I'm weak and pathetic. I knew he'd follow close behind me so I quickly gathered all my bravery and waited for him to enter the room. I knew exactly what would happen. He'd try to explain what I saw and I'd listen, understand his point of view and end up falling deeper into his submission. This is really becoming so complicated, I just want to leave. Before I could finish thinking the door slowly began opening.

'This is it Ria, act like you understand him' I thought to myself.

I watched as Tae slowly walked in. He was looking down and had a sad vibe coming from him. Was he ashamed of himself? He should be. He looked up until his eyes eventually met mine. I looked at him coldly trying to hide the fear seeing him gave me. He took a deep breath and began.

'Ria listen, I'm sorry you had to see that. I don't know where to begin but I want to explain. That boy you saw... he's actually a murderer.'

A murderer? Does Tae hate murderers? But what about me? What about my murders?! I stopped myself from overthinking and continued listening to Tae's explanation.

'He was in a gang. They were horrible people. They killed my dad when I was just seven. That's how I developed split personality.

Early childhood trauma.

I won't get into the details of my dad's death but you should know that they made his death long, miserable and painful. They say you don't learn until you experience. So I'm letting them experience what they did to my dad in hopes they'll learn. You heard many screams and cries right? That's the rest of the gang. I've captured all of them. Every last one. So everyday I get my guys to torture them unbearably. That's what you saw today Ria. I'm sorry.'

Wow. The word 'unbearably' is an understatement but I understand him. I thought I could just act like I understood him but I genuinely really understand him. Frankly, if I was in his shoes I would probably be the same so who can blame him? I'm just relieved he doesn't know I've murdered two people. What would he do if he found out?

'Taehyung, I'm sorry for being angry earlier. I should've listened sooner. I'm so sorry Tae. You're not a mons-'

He shut me up with a tight hug. It was unexpected but I couldn't say I didn't like it. I knew it was wrong. I shouldn't let him do this but my mind and body are in two different places and my body won't budge. I guess I'm stuck here. He was hugging me without knowing I was also a murderer. I felt disgusted with myself. I was ashamed of myself but couldn't bring myself to say anything. Instead I let tears of guilt fall down my face. I gently pushed Tae away as I knew he deserved better than to hug someone like me. I bowed my head in shame and sniffled while crying.

'What's wrong with you? Why are you crying? Are you really that weak? How pathetic. You need to be toughened up you're too weak.' He said sharply. What's happening? Is he having an outburst? He's so unpredictable it's disturbing. I couldn't bring myself to reply because he was right. I'm too weak.

'So now you can't speak huh? Okay hun come with me I'll toughen you up a bit.'

He said while a scary smirked formed on his face. He violently gripped my arm and dragged me out of the room. Maybe this was the end for me. Maybe this is where everything stops.