LAYING LOW

The next day in college, Light and Talia were present so I guess everything was back to normal. Though today the date-sheet for our finals was going to be on display. In college, our finals were held at different colleges as centres. Students were divided into four groups. There was this voice in the back of my head saying what if Light isn't in my examination centre. Although the possibilities of us being in the same group were really high, since we had the same subjects. Me and my friends were going to the A block where the date-sheets were displayed on the notice board. I knew Light was going to go, we were sitting in our usual hangout place, the basketball court, and of course Light was there too,I over heard her conversation about going there so instead of following her I went ahead first. She and her group of friends following closely behind. She was talking loud. She did talk loud, I noticed, only around me? I wasn't quite sure about that though. Anyways Talia was talking to me about some new restaurant that opened recently, but I wasn't paying attention to her. I was eavesdropping on the conversation going on behind us. I heard Light talking in her usual demeanour. "You know I don't wanna be friends with someone like her. I like the type of girls that are good at studies and are humorous. Oh and who's not too full of herself ha ha ha. I mean what am I gonna do with just a pretty face." Was that directed at me?. No it can't be. I'm not just a pretty face and I can surely crack a joke or two. And in my defence I was not full of myself, I just knew my self worth.Oh my god was she really telling me I had no chance with her. But then what about those stares and those glances, whenever she turned around to get something from her bag she'd directly look at me.What- I was so heartbroken. I walked so damn fast I didn't even want to look back. I felt so humiliated.

That was the first day in my life when I actually felt intimidated,small and helpless in front of someone.

Haha I thought, she thinks I just want to be friends with her, when in reality I was hopelessly in love with her. All I wanted was to treat her well, treat her well unconditionally.But here she was shattering every little ray of hope I had in this situation. I didn't talk all day, and with my mood down, of course everyone was going to be down. But I never was the one to care. So I decided that from this day on, I will treat her just as a normal classmate. I will not follow her around in the whole damn college like a puppy. And will not by any means skip any classes just to watch her play basketball. If that's what she wanted, that was what she's going to get. As much as it hurt. My ego was the most important thing to me. And I simply couldn't allow myself to bow down any further in front of her. As true I am to my words, I didn't follow her anymore. I stopped hanging out in the basketball court. I didn't have my morning coffee while sitting across of her, my friends would bring it to me in the gym, It just consisted of a few useless machines and alot of empty space, but it was at least peaceful, that would be our new hangout spot. But one thing I couldn't help was to stare at her when she entered the class. We would look at each other none daring to break the intense eye contact till she sat down on her seat. But now I didn't gaze at her playfully with love. It was more of a disappointing, heart broken, sad kind of gaze. Of course I was disappointed in myself. But she didn't have to know that. And it had an effect. She noticed the changes. Because what I was witnessing right in front of me was her with a cup of coffee in her hand, sitting on the floor of the gym,just a little far from me. In my new spot.I mean I wasn't getting ahead of myself of course a few people would hangout there, but someone like her and her friends, no they liked the basketball court or the ground, out in the open.Huh, somebody got used to the attention I see. How I wish I could throw myself at her, and put the entire world into her hands if she asked for it. I loved this feeling. And I wanted more. I controlled my emotions and started to ignore her, even though my heart would go soft when I thought about what I was putting her through. But this was too important. I wanted her to come to me since the start. And this was how I was going to get her.