say everything will be ok

Jaden swallowed past the lump in her throat as her eyes roamed across the muscled plans of Russ's chest and abdomen. Her fingers explored each dip and rise of muscle. Her hand began to tremble more as she slowly slid her it lower. Her bravery faltered when her eyes landed on the bulge of his pajamas. Her eyes shot back to his as she gnawed on her bottom lip.

He smiled, trying to hide his own nervous hesitation. "However much or little you want to do… I'm yours to do with as you'd like."

Her eyes darted to his tented pants then just as quickly back. She continued to chew her bottom lip in equal parts intrigue and reluctance.

When she continued to hesitate, he caught her chin and turned her eyes back to his. "You don't have to do any of this if you don't want to. I'll not force you."

Jaden shut her eyes in embarrassment and self-loathing. "But I want to… It's just…" Her words faded as a frown curved her lips.

He lightly tugged her face back to meet his. "Jaden, look at me. It's fine. You don't have to push yourself." Her brows knitted and her bottom lip trembled, causing pain to shoot through his chest. He tugged her face down to meet his as he lifted and kissed her, more gently this time. He drank languidly from her, letting her guide the intensity of their kisses. To his surprise and the overwhelming pleasure of his now-throbbing cock, it didn't take her long to push for more from him. Her hands roamed freely across his face, neck, and upper chest sending delightful tingles throughout his body. He tangled his fingers into her hair with one hand and reached down to work the drawstrings free with the other.

Jaden let out a tiny moan as the passion built from each kiss and touch. She could feel him working his pajamas loose quickly before returning his hand back to her. Though his hands stayed on top of the fabric of her nightgown or on other safe, nonsexual areas such as her arms; the feel of his hands still sent shivers throughout her body pushing her to become braver herself. She let her exploration of his body expand, running her fingertips along his lower abdomen. She willed her hand to move lower, knowing well what it took to please a man and waiting to give that to him. Her fingertips flitted across the thin material of his pajamas as she forced her mind away from everything except the man beside her.

Russ moaned, arching his hips upwards into her touch. {How long has it been…} His movements stopped, and he lowered his hips back to the mattress. Guilt struck him hard as thoughts of Jos returned. He pulled his lips away from hers and lowered his head back to the pillow. He studied her as he fought against the guilt plaguing his mind... the same guilt that had caused him to keep his distance from her for the past several weeks. {I can't keep doing this to her... to myself...} His eyes moved over her as she continued to explore his body in interest and curiosity. She teased her finger along the waistband of his pj's and outlined his shaft with her fingers over the thin fabric. Something about her teasing touches drove him crazier than anything any of his past, more confident, lovers had ever done. Her velvety pink ears were perked, alert and attuned to even the slightest movement in the room. He lifted his hand and smoothed back her ears. "You're beautiful. You know that?"

Touched by his kind words and the warmth in his gaze, Jaden gave up her attempts of pleasuring him with her hand and threw her leg over him, instead. She sat astride him with her palms planted against his chest as she watched the warmth grow into flames of desire behind his eyes. She could see the doubt and restraint flicker across his features as she leaned over him and recaptured his lips. "You are beautiful as well… body and soul." She whispered against his lips. "Did you know that?"

He chuckled as he wrapped his arms around her. "I don't know about that, but if you think so, it's all that matters." Before long, their kisses grew more passionate, causing their lust to build. Between the pressure and gentle shift of her against him and the faint, sweet scent of her arousal, his beast within was going nuts. With a growl and the push of his growing need, he flipped their positions. His hand had already slid under her nightgown and was moving rapidly up her thigh before her whimper even registered to his passion-fogged brain. He quickly stilled his hand and lifted his face and body away from her. "Sorry… I… got carried away…" He took in her fear-filled eyes and trembling body and hated himself for being the cause of them both. He was just about to pull his hand away from her when she surprised him by suddenly grabbing hold of his arm.

"No!" Her cheeks heated with embarrassment as she forced herself to continue. "I… I want this…"

Russ hesitated. "Are… are you sure? You don't have to push yourself. There's no rush for any of this."

She nodded loosened her grip on his arm and began stroking the thick length of his forearm. "I want you... I want it to be you that helps me past... the past..." She held his gaze, her soft, pale lashes fluttering like the wings of tiny fairies. "I trust you... I am yours..."

Russ's already hard shaft pulsed with the added arousal her words brought him. "Alright… If you're sure… But we can stop at any time… Just say the words, ok." He forced down the growing hunger of the beast and slowly began massaging her thigh waiting on her replay. When she nodded again, he lowered his lips back to hers and began inching his way up the inside of her thigh. He teased her tongue with his as her trembling thighs parted for him. His eyes widened and a smile curved his lips when he discovered she wasn't wearing underwear. "Um… I hadn't expected this…" He whispered huskily against her parted lips. He nipped her bottom lip as he traced the crease of her inner thigh all the way up to her hip before moving back down torturously slow. She threw her head back in a moan as his teasing moved to the outer folds of her mound with a featherlike touch. "Tell me if there's something you don't like or if it becomes too much." He whispered as he began to skillfully massage the hard bud of her clit with his index finger while letting his pinky slide along the sleek folds encircling her opening.

"Ah…" She moaned as she squeezed her eyes shut and gripped his arm tightly.

"Look at me." He instructed in a low gentle tone, not wanting to give her mind a chance to be anywhere else but in the moment with him. He smiled encouragingly down at her as her eyes flickered open, meeting his. Taking his own advice, he forced his mind to focus on only her and the present. He lowered his head and trailed scattered kisses across her lips, neck, and collar bones. He slid lower in the bed, slowly and gently tugging her nightgown up over her hips as he went. "Is this ok?" He asked.

Unaware of what he was about to do, Jaden nodded. "Y-yes…"

He sent her a crooked smile as he maneuvered between her thighs and placed a soft kiss to the top of her mound. He slid his hands under her hips as she began wiggling against him.

"Wait…" She squeaked out.

Russ glanced up. "What is it? Are you uncomfortable? Am I pressing too hard on your legs?"

She furrowed her brows in confusion as she held his brilliant cyan eyes. "N-no… nothing like that… It's just…" Her cheeks heated. "W-what are you… um… doing…"

His brows arched. "You don't know?"

She shook her head. "I… I thought we were going to…"

Pain hit Russ's heart like a ton of bricks. Had she ever found pleasure in her life? He held her gaze from between her legs. "I want to give you pleasure. I want everything we do in this bed to be equally enjoyable for the both of us. I don't want it to be mere obligation for you."

She swallowed past the lump building in her throat as she nodded. "Oh… Ok…"

A smirk curved one corner of his lips. "So does that mean it's ok for me to continue?" When she nodded again, he lowered himself back down. Russ nipped her inner thigh then kissed away the faint sting. Her soft gasps and wiggles egged him on. He teased and lapped at her delicate folds, the beast within clamoring for more. {But… not tonight…} His warm gaze watched her closely as she reacted to his every touch. When she'd found her release by his mouth, he pushed up beside her and pulled her into his arm. He placed a light kiss against her forehead. "Get some sleep."

Jaden's eyes widened in shock. "But… wh-what about you?"

He smiled down at her. "What about me?"

She glanced away in embarrassment. "You didn't… we didn't…"

He caught her chin and pulled it back to face him, stopping her words with a quick kiss. "It's fine." He whispered against her lips. "We don't have to have sex for me to be satisfied."

Her brows furrowed and her eyes trailed down his body. "Then did you…" Her brows knitted and her nose scrunched in confusion as her eyes settled on the tent of his pants.

He hooked his finger under her chin and brought her eyes back to his again. A brow shot up as a playful, half-smile curved his lips. "Did I cum? No, but it's fine." He gave her lips a quick peck. "I wanted to do something just for you." He let out a sigh as he glided his hand across her sharp jaw and into her soft hair. He placed a kiss on the tip of her scrunched-up nose before leaning back against the pillows and tucking her head under his chin. "I know things between us haven't been the best lately, but I really do care about you and want you to be happy."

Jaden swallowed, trying to force back the tears that threatened to fall. She could feel the hard press of his shaft against her thigh as he snuggled more firmly against her. It was obviously not a matter of whether he wanted her or not… It was obvious he was still aroused and in need of release... {So then… why…} Her mind couldn't work out an answer to her own questions or a response to his kind words. "Oh… ok…" She was silent for several long minutes. "Russ…"

"Hum?" He asked sleep heavy in his voice.

Her fingers curled into fists against his bare chest as she bit into her bottom lip. "Well… it's just…" She stumbled nervously over her words. "I… never mind…" She finally said with a sigh. "Sleep well…" She turned out of his arms and faced the opposite direction. Tears burnt her eyes as she wrapped her arms protectively around herself and pulled her legs tight against her stomach. Tension had already begun to spread through her body when a large, warm hand began stroking her arm soothingly.

He could tell she was upset about something but couldn't figure out what. He slid an arm under the bend of her neck and tugged her back against him, placing a kiss against her shoulder. He could feel the faint shutter of her body as she tried to hide her silent sobs. "I hope I haven't done yet another thing to upset you."

She shook her head. "No… nothing like that."

He leaned back and turned her to face him, wiping away the thin trickle of tears with the pad of his thumb. "Are you sure?"

She studied the soft masculine features of a boy before her. He was rapidly growing into a man, most likely had been for some time now... but not quite at the peak of his physical maturity. Most of the men in her village had aged rapidly, looking haggard and old before reaching even forty... proof of a hard life in a rough environment no doubt. Many of the vampires she'd been whored out to since being brought here had been older, sometimes even elderly, with grey or bolding hair. Her hand lifted to his lightly stubbled cheek as thoughts of what he may look like once he was older ran through her mind. "You're so much different than anyone I've ever known before…"

He let out a nervous chuckle. "I hope that's a good thing."

She nodded. "It is…" She leaned forward and kissed his lips sweetly. "Thank you." She whispered against them before settling back into the bed and his arms, letting her eyes drift closed sleepily.

He kissed her head as he pulled her tighter against him, clinging to her in near desperation. The words he wanted to say sat there on the tip of his tongue refusing to come out, nearly strangling him with each attempt at saying them. {It's too soon... I shouldn't... I... am I even sure... this time? Am... am I brave enough to say them again so soon to someone else?} His brows knitted as he tightened his hold again, his sleepiness fading, replaced by the complex slew of emotions now badgering his brain. He waited until her breathing steadied out and the residual tension in her body faded. He loosened his hold on her and studied her sleeping face. He brushed her long, soft lashes with the bend of his finger before sliding it gently down her cheek to her full, swollen lips. He carefully bent and placed a light kiss on her lips. "I love you..." He whispered almost soundlessly.

Jaden let out a faint moan and snuggled against the bend of his arm, bringing a smile to his lips as he laid back down. He let out a content sigh as he wrapped his arms back around her, interlacing his fingers against her side. He listened to the steady beat of her heart, letting it lull him off to sleep as well.