Follow your heart

Jos's hands shook uncontrollably as she gripped the steering wheel. Her eyes were so blurry and swollen from her tears that she couldn't make out the controls on the dashboard. She screamed out her frustrations as she hit her forehead against the steering wheel several times.

Finally irritated at her own self-driven torment, she shut off the car and kicked open the door. She stomped off toward the familiar sidewalk leading to her favorite part of the city.

Arei's brows furrowed as he watched her get out of the car and storm off toward the waterway. "What is she up to now?" He bit down on the cigarette in his mouth and lept from the top floor balcony, landing smoothly at the bottom. He didn't hesitate as he followed her at a distance, stopping only after she'd slowed by the water.

Jos clutched the chain in her tight fist as she drew it back and pitched it toward the water. Her throw fell short as she lost momentum and the desire to be rid of the ring. Instead, she brought her fist and the ring to her chest and squeezed it tightly as hot tears streamed down her face.

"It's not so easy to throw away... is it?" Arei whispered hoarsely as he slowly walked toward her.

She scrunched her brows as she clamped her fist and eyes tightly closed. "How long have you been following me?"

"Since you left the complex." He stepped beside her and leaned against the railing. "I'd thrown that thing in so many different lakes, ponds, seas, and oceans... I've lost count of how many... but I always found myself rushing after it..." He turned to face her. "You're no different. I'll always rush after you... I'll never truly be able to let you go."

"Why are you telling me this?" She asked letting her hands fall to her sides and staring down at the hard concrete of the bridge.

He stepped closer to her and took her hands in his. "I let you walk away from me once without going after you... and it was the biggest mistake of my life. Will you really make me suffer another 500+ years simply because I have no logical reasoning for not wanting a child right now? That seems unlogical to me..." He studied her as she continued avoiding his gaze. "Are you sure there isn't something else? Something you're not telling me or that you're not admitting to yourself?" He hooked her chin with his index finger and lifted her face to meet his seeking gaze. "Are things moving too fast between us? Is that it? Is this a fight you've chosen to pick because of cold feet or something? If so we can slow things down."

Jos jerked her hand free of his and brought it swiftly across his fast with a loud pop. "How dare you!" Her lip trembled. "How... how could you..." She shook her head. "Of course, you couldn't... You couldn't see my pain while holding baby Cam or my pain when three negative tests sat on the counter..." His dazzling hazel eyes were blurry as she stared up at him. "It would have been fine... I would have understood if you said you wanted to wait... that you weren't ready... If you'd said anything sincere enough to be believed... if you'd been honest and not reverted back to the same bullshit... But you didn't, you're lying and hiding things... and it doesn't matter if you think it's for my own good... It will never be in my best interest if it's not the full truth."

"No, I understand your frustrations." He murmured as he rubbed the sting from his cheek. "You've held back and not been honest with me since your return... but I've not pressed the issue. I assumed you had good reason."

She squeezed her eyes tightly shut. "This isn't a healthy relationship... You have to realize that."

He shrugged. "Then let's make it one. You go first. What is it you've been hiding from me? Why the sudden rush for children?"

She lifted her tear-streaked face to his and held his gaze as she answered. "Why the sudden rush?" She paused studying his eyes intensely. "Because I had hoped the man I'd chosen to spend the rest of my very long life with eventually wanted the same things I did..." She shook her head as he reached out for her face, avoiding his touch. "But you've made it obvious, you're unmoving on this..." Her eyes brunt into his. "You may be alright spending your life alone and isolated... but I'm not... I've been isolated long enough. I want a life, a family..."

"Jos..." He reached out for her again but she brushed his hand away.

She stepped away from him. "I'm leaving now... Don't follow."

He caught her hand. "You're too upset to drive... At least let me give you a lift back to the girls' townhouse." He waited for her to answer but when none was forthcoming, he squeezed her hand lightly. "Let me drive you to Maine."

Her eyes widened as they shot up to him. "How do you know we're going there?"

He arched his brow. "Really?"

She frowned as she moved her focus back to the walkway. "Never mind... and no..." She pulled away from him again and began stomping back toward the complex.

Arei growled in frustration. "So that's it? We're done? You won't even consider hearing me out?" He closed the distance between them in five wide strides and scooped her into his arms. "You are the most stubborn, most frustrating person I've ever met! Do you know that? I'm sure you do. I'm positive I'm not the first to say so."

"PUT ME DOWN!" She screamed as she slammed her fists against his chest.

"No." He grunted. "We're talking before you leave whether you want to or not. I know communication isn't your forte… and maybe I'm not the best either… but this has gotten out of hand, and you know it."

"PUT ME DOWN!" Jos yelled as she continued to struggle against his hold.

He gritted his teeth as he held her tighter. "Are you even listening to me right now?!"

She stilled in his arms but glared up at him instead of answering.

Arei rolled his eyes again. "Really mature, Joslyn. How old are you again?" When she still didn't answer, he shook his head and moved his attention to the walkway. "I'm not trying to be hard on you right now. I'm just a bit fed up with your current childish antics." He'd barely taken two steps when he felt a tight squeeze around his waist. He rolled his eyes again as he dropped her and braced himself for the impact.

Jos landed lightly on her feet with the ad of an extra tentacle. "Asshole…" She grumbled as she crossed her arms over her chest and watched him sail toward the dark waters of the bay. Her eyes widened in shocked disbelief when the water seemed to catch him like a soft glove. Her mouth dropped open unable to believe what she was seeing.

Arei closed his eyes in concentration. He could feel the slight sting of the tattoos beneath his tight clothes. He willed the water beneath his feet to obey him. With a simple lift of his hands and a light flick outward he was moving back toward the overpass she'd thrown him from, carried by the water. "If you want to make a scene, kitten, I'll give you a whole fucking production." As he felt contact with the concrete, he let his eyes open. He flicked his wrist causing the water that had carried him over to encircle her. He watched as she struggled uselessly against the tight hug of the water. Arei tilted his head at her shocked expression. "Not what you expected?" He released his hold on the water letting it splash around her feet. He frown as she began backing away from him and followed her. "I love that you've gotten comfortable enough with yourself and your powers to use them out in the open like this, but Jos... you have to know it's not the best idea."

Jos tried to swallow past the massive lump threatening to strangle her. Her wide eyes struggled to memorize the beautifully terrifying site of glowing patterns painting his godly body. Her eyes widened farther as her hand flew to her mouth when his glowing, pensive stare found her trembling gaze. "Arei… How???"

He lifted a brow doubtfully. "Are you ready to talk now?"

Jos nodded in a complete state of dumbfounding. When he held his hand out to her, she quickly stepped away from him. She clutched her hands against her chest as she continued to stare at him.

Arei let out a heavy sigh. "And now you're afraid of me? Have I ever hurt you before? Have I not proven myself to you a thousand times over by now?" He didn't wait for her to answer as he scooped her into his arms again and began walking back toward his condo. When she didn't struggle or say anything, he glanced down at her. She seemed to be terrified. He clenched his jaws as he adjusted his hold on her and clutched her head to his chest. He rested his cheek against the top of her head. "I'm sorry if I scared you. You scared me too when you left like that… I held my breath the whole time you were considering pitching my ring into the bay…" His words faded as he placed a kiss to her head. "I'm not ready to give up on us yet." She didn't say a word as he carried her up the stairs and into the condo. He sat her down on the sofa and went into the kitchen. He quickly filled a tea pot and set it on the stove. As he waited for it to heat, he prepared two teacups.

Jos's eyes followed him around the kitchen as her mind worked over several of their previous conversations.{God… he's… he's an actual… god… no… worse… a… a…titan.} He'd told her before, hadn't he… But she'd let his words go in one ear and out the other. "You're not a demi-god… are you."

He risked a glance at her as he poured the steaming water into the cups. "No… I've told you as much. Ry and I are not gods either… Our mother is Gia…"

She swallowed past the lump in her throat. "You're a titan…" The words burnt her lips as they passed them.

Arei let out a resigned sigh. "More or less… Again, I've told you as much before…" He walked over and handed her one of the cups. His eyes studied her. "Now do you understand? I can't father a child." He shook his head, squeezing his eyes tightly shut. "A child between you and I would be way too powerful… to valuable. I couldn't stand to see any child go through what I went through… and I was one of the lucky ones." His eyes met hers. "A child of mine would be used for the worst of wars. They would be forced to do and see things… things a child should never see."

Her eyes burned as she read the grief that had been hidden in the depth of his soul become unmasked. "You're talking about your punishment from Zeus after you and Athena teamed up against him… after… after Pellis died…"

He gritted his teeth. "After she was killed unjustly." He sat down beside her. "The gods do not care let along take account for the suffering their actions cause. They only care about the betterment of control… their rule…" His eyes burned into her. "And Father is not different. At the end of the day, he prays we slip up and produce offspring."

Jos frowned. "You make it sound like we're animals."

He shrugged sadly. "For the longest time that was all I was to him." He watched her as she stared back at him. He could see the wheels turning in her mind. "I love children, and I have nothing against adoption... farther down the road, perhaps. But I'd also want to be sure I was in a position to protect that child, as well. I never want to be a father like mine was...."

Jos shook her head. "I know you'd never let anything happen to your child, adopted or otherwise. You're also wrong about Poseidon… Even if that's how he saw you then. He loves you now. Anyone can see the lengths he continues to go through to see all his children happy."

Arei cupped her cheek and smiled back at her sadly. "Maybe so… but he'd still be the first in line to take full advantage of a child of ours. And it would end in a fight between him and Zeus… if not some of the others."

Jos's brows knitted. "The others?"

He nodded. "Hera, for instance. She's spent hundreds of thousands of years trying to break the bonds of her forced marriage without losing her crown."

Jos swallowed hard as she worked out the many thoughts running through her mind. "What if I told you there was a way to deal with Hera… maybe for good…"

"Then I'd say it's a plan I'd love to hear."