I am confused

Hmmm ... I'm getting lazy, working on this novel.

The author's note yesterday I made to try to make myself feel responsible so that I could make a new chapter.

But it didn't work, even today the next chapter is still not finished.

Making novels is boring, I know this even since 2 years ago, Reading other people's novels is always fun.

I submitted a contract two months ago, but there's still no reply. Although 90% I'm sure, my novel has been rejected.

After all, my writing skills aren't good from first place.

But somehow I still want to continue making this novel, if not the years that I have elaborated on this will be in vain.

I am confused.