ImmenseEgg

In the infantile state of a new universe were many creatures in their starting phase, one of which was a juice pouch and straw that would challenge any vegetables from the cabbage patch to a round of fisticuffs, ultimately overcoming them and absorbing their power, thus, it became formidable and left behind an entire and complete heritage behind. This being was later known to be none other but...The Succ Sage.

The self named Genius Gang, a group of intellectuals with knowledge far beyond the norm of this infantile universe then began to rise and found this heritage, allowing them to begin their ascent to the higher realms.

The Scrummy Bummy Lore is an incomprehensive, shortened archive of the real events that the Genius Gang went through on their path.

Translator's Note: As the best translator in the world, it is easy to assume that my translation will be complely on point, however, the Scrummy Bummy Lore, being written in the language of the Gods, was far too complex for even a genius like I to translate fully, as I, just like you, am a mere mortal. Please do read this novel with an open mind, keeping in mind that not only are there multiple meanings that we do not understand, but also many that can eventually be understood through comprehensive thought. I myself feel as though I have matured as not just a person, but as an entity in this vast universe that we call our home after reading this novel.

In short, I must say that if the human race ever evolves to the point where we can incorporate the Scrummy Bummy Lore into our national curriculum as the most significant subject, I can die knowing that humanity shall live on to achieve great things.

The Scrummy Bummy Lore

Banana Republic Boy was finally at Aldi once again, a blessed land of the most desirable and splendid items. But there was only one thing on canvas painting of New York in the bed room boy's mind at the moment.


17p fizzy lemonade from Aldi's homebrand. a delectable concoction; the elixir of life and the carbonated bane of all ailments! 


index finger in the eyesocker boy was so relieved that he was at Aldi he cried and went to the toilet to empty Nelson mandela's bladder.


after exactly 60 minutes, he came back to pick up a bottle of 17p lemonade and thought "wowieee should I buy two of these? No, two probably won't fit in my bag, @ #-@?3 @ 5463 £+@??3 -9££@?! _7') #+85 goddamn!!!1!!!! delicious melon gif FUK!


he took the bottle of the delicious melon gif 2 the bottle of the lemonade to the payout who had a sinister smile. he scanned the lemonade...come say "that'll be..."


chandelier boy was basking in the glory, in any second now he will hand over the mere 17p required for the potion of immortality, the Aldi lemonade, and gain eternal honour! he could finally fill up Martin Luther king's ballsac when the cashier laff.


As though many millennia had passed, the walls of Aldi suddenly became aged and grey with the previous heavenly shine absent...the ground separated, being ripped apart in real time causing the ceiling to collapse on portable charger boy's head. 


bathtub boy awoke in floral bedsheets and looked through the floral curtains to see the sun rising up. His £1 coin had been converted to 83p, and his room was bathed in a golden glow...there was the homebrand, 17p Aldi lemonade.


"thank god, the 70p lemonade was just a nightmare!..."


Swear to god if the co-op doesn't lower the price of their homebrand SHIT lemonade below 70p, enough to buy four...FOUR of Aldi's heavenly homebrand huckleberry sauce, I'm going to go to the grandaddy of the co-op aaaand I'm gonna put their collar bones in a blender. 70p for homebrand lemonade just not acceptable FCK OUTTA HERE


Dreaming of Aldi