Chapter 37

[System Notification: Naruto has uploaded several pictures]

🔹 "Check it out, guys. My palace and the capital of the empire. Thought I'd show you around a bit." – Naruto

The first image revealed an impossibly massive celestial city, spanning as large as a star, glowing with golden and silver lights across its surface. Floating islands hovered like miniature worlds, with cascading waterfalls of energy. Streets stretched endlessly, accommodating countless species from every corner of the empire. At the center stood Naruto's grand palace, a structure so large that entire mountain ranges could fit within its walls.

The palace itself glowed with divine energy, its towers piercing through the atmosphere, surrounded by massive energy rings. A celestial river flowed through it, connecting to several planets in orbit. The entire place looked less like a palace and more like the throne of a cosmic immortal.

💬 [Chat Reactions]

🔥 Issei (Dragon King): "Bruh… That's not a palace. That's a immortal damn solar system in a house."

🍓 Ichigo (Hybrid): "How do you even live in a place that big? Do you take a shuttle just to get to the kitchen?"

🔫 Tsuna (Don): "Forget that—do you even know where your own bedroom is, or do you have to use a map?"

🥩 Toriko (Gourmet Hunter): "That place must have the best food in the universe. No way a city that size doesn't have an insane culinary scene!"

💪 Goku (Saiyan immortal): "So… how many gravity chambers you got? Asking for a friend."

👓 Gohan (Scholar Saiyan): "Goku, you mean asking for yourself?"

🤣 Luffy (Future Pirate King): "Do you have an all-you-can-eat buffet in that palace? I'm moving in if you do!"

🛡 Rias (Ruin Princess): "It looks divine, Naruto. But I can't help but feel you're compensating for something…"

🦊 Yasaka (Golden Fox): "My husband's palace is fitting for a being of his stature. Unlike the rest of you, I actually get to enjoy it firsthand~"

🧒 Gon (Hunter Prodigy): "Whoa, that's the biggest place I've ever seen! Do you have forests and animals in there too?"

☯️ Wang Lin (Grand Scholar): "A city as large as a star… Even the Celestial Sects of the Immortal Realms do not compare. This is beyond the scope of cultivation. You are truly in a league of your own, Naruto."

Naruto: "Pfft, you guys are just mad because your houses fit inside my throne room. 😂"

🔥 Issei: "Wait—YOUR THRONE ROOM IS BIGGER THAN OUR HOUSES?!?!"

🤣 Ichigo: "Damn, Naruto, do you have planets as furniture too?"

Naruto: "I mean… I do have a star-sized chair made of condensed space-time energy. But hey, it's comfy!"

Tsuna: "Bro, you're ridiculous."

Toriko: "I'm serious about the food. Do you have interdimensional chefs or what?"

Naruto: "Oh, we have entire planets dedicated to gourmet cultivation. I even have a chef that can cook with the essence of a black hole."

👑 Luffy: "I AM MOVING IN."

⚡ Goku: "Luffy, we're both moving in."

🦊 Yasaka: "Naruto, dear, I think you should let only certain guests in. Some of these guys would eat the empire out of existence."

🤔 Gohan: "Honestly, the logistics of this empire fascinate me. The energy required to sustain a structure of this scale is beyond what our universe should allow."

😏 Naruto: "Yeah, well, I rewrote the universe's rules, so that's not an issue."

💀 Ichigo: "OF COURSE YOU DID."

🤣 Issei: "My man just casually rewrites universal laws like it's a Sunday chore."

🔮 Wang Lin: "I should not be surprised anymore, yet somehow I am."

Toriko:

Toriko stood in a vast white void, his powerful presence unwavering as he faced the system's inquiry.

"Master Toriko, who do you wish to fight?" a mechanical voice asked.

Toriko didn't hesitate. His blue hair fluttered as he cracked his knuckles. He wanted to test himself, to challenge the impossible, to taste the essence of true power.

"Naruto Uzumaki at full power."

A brief silence. Then, the voice responded in a neutral yet absolute tone.

"Are you sure? According to the rules, the battle is beyond your capability. The recommended level for you would be 'Emperor of Mankind, 16 years ago.'"

Toriko smirked, feeling his blood boil with excitement. He refused to back down.

"I will use my privilege for this fight. Give me the full treatment."

"As you command."

The void around him shattered.

Toriko blinked, finding himself standing on an endless grassland. The wind carried the scent of pure nature, untainted and perfect. It was an untouched world, as if creation itself had set this place aside for immortals to walk.

Under a lone tree sat Naruto Uzumaki.

Golden locks swayed gently as he leaned against the tree, exuding a presence that was at once serene yet absolute. His piercing, tranquil eyes locked onto Toriko, holding none of the hostility of a warrior ready for battle. Instead, it was the gaze of a tired king, watching an overeager child who had stumbled into his throne room.

Naruto smiled. A simple gesture, yet Toriko felt as if the heavens themselves had deemed him insignificant.

"Don't be so hasty." Naruto's voice was calm, yet each word carried the weight of countless galaxies. "Let us enjoy the breeze. This battle is quite unnecessary, Toriko. You are just a child."

Toriko's heart pounded.

'What is this feeling?'

He felt... small.

His body felt strange, and when he looked down—his hands were tiny. His muscular arms were gone. His towering frame had shrunk. He was a toddler, barely able to stand.

'He turned me into a child?'

Toriko clenched his fists, suppressing his embarrassment as he felt the unnatural weight of a diaper around his waist.

He bit his lip, suppressing his frustration.

'Fine.' He took a deep breath and activated White Oni. If he could just land a hit—

"Children should listen to adults."

Toriko's vision blurred. His world shattered into a single moment.

A hand held him by the shirt, lifting him effortlessly off the ground.

He hadn't even seen Naruto move.

A horrifying realization hit him.

'I can't feel my body.'

His arms refused to move. His legs were weightless. His senses—gone.

No sight.

No sound.

No taste.

No smell.

Nothing but Naruto's presence.

The weight of existence itself was crushing him.

"That was why I said, you are just a child." Naruto's voice was impossibly close. "My mere presence would erase mortals like you."

Toriko couldn't even respond.

He couldn't think.

He could barely comprehend the situation.

"Do you understand where I stand now?" Naruto continued. His voice, though still tranquil, carried the weight of absolute dominance.

"I am close to breaking through this realm, touching and shattering the wall of reality. Time and space are almost meaningless in front of me."

Toriko gasped for breath that didn't exist. His very soul was being crushed by Naruto's overwhelming might.

'This… this is beyond anything I imagined…'

He had fought immortals before. He had feasted on creatures that could devour planets. But this… this wasn't a fight.

This was a lesson.

Then—pain.

Toriko barely registered Naruto's hand pressing against his tiny heart.

"I have taken your Food Luck as compensation."

Food Luck?

Toriko's eyes widened.

Naruto was robbing him.

"What you learn from this, is up to you," Naruto continued, "Next time, I hope you know your place. We do not take disrespect lightly."

Toriko felt frustration boil beneath his humiliation.

"Aren't you laying it on a bit too thick? And robbing me in daylight, are you serious?" he managed to mutter, despite the crushing force on his soul.

Naruto chuckled. "Oh, I am serious. What can you do about it?"

The blonde's smile widened. "My time is valuable. So next time, bring something expensive if you want a lesson."

And then—

Toriko was crushed.

His soul was erased. His body, nothing more than dust in the wind.

The battle ended before it ever began.

 DXD:

Issei lay sprawled across his bed, arms behind his head, basking in the afterglow of a long day of training. His muscles were more defined now—buff, strong, and attractive to the ladies—but his personality? Still a work in progress.

His phone vibrated as he typed lazily into the Heroes Chat Group.

Issei: "Are there any Succubi in the group? I want to ask how to find some in my world and befriend them."

Hybrid (Ichigo): "We all know what kind of 'befriending' you want to do."

Issei scoffed. Oh, hell no. Not today.

Issei: "Suck my meat, Hybrid. At least I got some, unlike someone."

Hybrid: "OOH, you're on. O Grand Master, tell us, has this unworthy soul finally graduated?"

Issei felt a cold shiver run down his spine. Oh no. He had poked the beast.

Before he could respond, the Demon of the Group Chat arrived.

Emperor of Mankind (Naruto): "LOL, this guy barely got a kiss on his lips."

The betrayal hit like a truck.

Neo One for All (Izuku): "14 more years left to become the Wizard King."

Issei: "I did not choose to be a virgin! The virgin life chose me!"

Hybrid: "Drops soap in prison, still a virgin."

Laughter erupted in the chat. Issei groaned, rubbing his temples. Why did he even ask?

Issei: "STOP Stop! I use my trap card! I got three beautiful girls on my side! What have you achieved in these three months?"

Silence.

Cricket noises.

Issei smirked, the taste of victory as sweet as honey.

Issei: "Victory tastes so sweet, just like honey."

Emperor of Mankind: "Good for you, Oppai. As for the Succubi, I heard they went through genocide because of ero-sites."

Issei blinked. Wait, what?

Issei: "Did you just make a rhyme about such a thing? Also, HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?!"

Emperor of Mankind: "Yes, yes I did. And oh, it's quite hilarious. You see, as time went on, people became more open to the idea of… pleasing themselves. Waste their life force into tissues, socks, and whatnot."

Issei: "…Go on."

Emperor of Mankind: "Well, as you know, Succubi feed on life force through dreams. But if someone already, uh, 'depleted the reserves' beforehand, there's nothing left to take."

The chat fell silent.

Emperor of Mankind: "Many of them fell into depression after realizing they were losing to 2D pictures and videos. It became a massive existential crisis. Low self-esteem skyrocketed. Their birth rates dropped, and eventually… they started dying out."

Issei sat up, his soul leaving his body.

Issei: "Tell me it's a lie."

Emperor of Mankind: "Sadly."

Issei: "NOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Rias, who had been silently watching the madness unfold, slammed her face onto her desk.

Face Desk.

Because Face Palming wasn't enough.

'How can he be so stupid?' she thought, massaging her forehead.

Meanwhile, Issei was contemplating burning his entire secret stash and deleting every last file on his hard drive.

Somewhere, a lone Succubus shed a tear.

Bleach:

Ichigo tucked his phone into his pocket, still recovering from the laughing fit Issei had caused in the group chat. The people around him gave him confused looks, but he ignored them.

'Man, I love that guy. He's just the right amount of stupid to lighten up a bad day.'

He smirked, shaking his head. But as the conversation about relationships crossed his mind, his expression darkened slightly.

'Not having a girl, huh?'

That wasn't exactly his problem. In fact, he had three.

A normal girlA Shinigami girlA human with powers

And somehow, he had zero idea how to deal with any of it.

The love radar in the chat—'For protagonist use only, as they were denser than a neutron star until the plot line finished'—was proof enough that his situation was complicated.

At first, he thought it was a joke. But then… it actually worked.

It straight-up exposed feelings—no room for misunderstandings, no "maybe they like me," no overthinking. Just cold, hard facts.

[Love Radar Activated]

→ Orihime Inoue – In Love

→ Rukia Kuchiki – progressing to love

→ Tatsuki Arisawa – In Love

"…What the hell is this?!"

Ichigo's eye twitched. It was so broken that it almost felt illegal. This thing wasn't fair. It basically spoiled his own life for him.

"This is like a cheat code for dating!"

Ichigo sighed, shoving his hands into his pockets. He wasn't some romance expert. He wasn't like Naruto, who somehow had an entire empire of wives and lovers. He wasn't like Issei, who chased after girls every second of the day.

Love? Feelings? That wasn't something he could rush.

"Should just postpone it for now."

Yeah, that sounded like the right move. He'd deal with it when the time came.

Right now, he had bigger problems.

Ichigo jumped, his body exploding into energy, shifting into his battle form.

His Shinigami powers merged with his Hollow side, forming a state that was still weaker than his peak, but he was getting closer. One day, he'd be able to fully control it without breaking down.

In front of him, the horde loomed.

A massive wave of Hollows, drawn to Karakura Town by his insane energy levels.

"Rukia, you gonna help?" Ichigo called out as he saw the Shinigami assigned to Karakura.

Rukia stood nearby, arms crossed, her expression casual.

"I will watch and provide support."

Ichigo rolled his eyes. "Fine."

He turned back toward the monsters, gripping his sword.

'Emperor of Mankind was right about the horde.'

Naruto had warned him about this before. The strong attracted the weak like moths to a flame.

Ichigo exhaled. His blade glowed, power surging into it.

The light grew, forming into a massive shining sphere. Then, it split into dozens of smaller ones—each radiating with overwhelming energy.

With a flick of his wrist, they shot forward at blinding speeds.

'Meteor Storm.'

Explosions tore through the air. The Hollows were obliterated before they could even react.

Rukia's eyes widened. Even though she had seen Ichigo's strength firsthand, she still found it unbelievable how fast he was improving.

'He isn't even serious yet.'

She watched, arms folded, her mind racing.

If this was him holding back, then what was his actual limit?

For a moment, she hesitated. Maybe…

'Maybe it's time I informed the Captain.'

But then, she reconsidered.

Not yet. She would wait and see.