Chapter 14 : Summertime "Madness"

Yeah, as the title suggests.

Literally madness.

Chatting wasn't a thing between us anymore.

Because she simply never came online most of the time.

I remember waking up everyday, just to be disappointed at not finding her online at all.

I went to church, hoping to maybe, just MAYBE run into her and find her, but the only thing I ever found was the night sky, which proved that yet another day went by without her being there.

Depression began to seep into my brain, accompanied by a LOT of stupid thoughts.

"Did she forget me?"

"Does she care anymore?"

"Would she be happy when she sees me?"

It was pretty clear that I was losing my mind worrying WHAY too much thinking of her.

I had no idea where she was, what she was doing, how she is, if she even cares that this dumb joke of a human being was endlessly craving for just one glimpse of her beautiful face.

I forgot to care about anything else including myself, since the only thing I ever cared about....was her.

It felt as if she not being there, meant the end of my life.

I didn't wanna do anything.

Anything at all but just wait and wait and WAIT FOREVER to just see her again.

I started to believe her pictures were the only thing that kept me sane, but the reality was they reminded me of how much I missed her.

I kept telling myself love would fix everything and kept hoping that someday I'd find the courage to actually tell her myself, to make her understand how much I loved and cared for her.

Every night before bed I'd whisper "Goodnight Rose"❤️, and sleep, smiling, thinking of her, hoping that maybe SOMEHOW it would reach her.

Days passed by and even when she did come online, she'd never read my texts.

Honestly,

It hurt.

Because it showed she didn't care.

And that really hurt.

I tried my best to ignore all of that.

And kept telling myself,

       "maybe she's just busy. It's okay."

But deep down inside, I knew I was anything but okay.

Days went by so fast I didn't realize Rose's birthday was coming up!

June the 3rd.

I'd never been so tensed in my life.

What was I supposed to do? Wish her through text? Maybe post on her wall? But what if she never saw it? What if she SEES IT and never responds??

But then did I really have any other choice?

That realization forced me to just helplessly go and just post on her wall.

I felt so bad thinking I couldn't do something more better for her, on her birthday. Perhaps give her a gift? There's no way I could.

I wished her at 12:00 am sharp and just kept staring at the phone screen, thinking about her. To my surprise in just a couple of minutes she replied by thanking me.

But then again I had no reason to be happy about that.

It was pretty clear by now that I had a very small chance of seeing her again.

Because the only place I'd ever see her would be in church.

No place else.

Observing what the situation was leading to, I had to swallow the bitter fact that I'd have to give up on her. Atleast that's what my brain kept asking of my heart.

But my heart had stuck on to the motto:

        "You don't give up on what you love"

Honestly, I trembled at the thought of forgetting her, it's something that I'd never dreamt of doing, but it was the only way for me to cope up with other tasks at hand.

Little did I know how difficult that one thing could be, to forget her.

As I kept spending the last few days at school, before the summer break, Malcolm would often ask me not to be so depressed and I'd never really listen.

But one day, during lunch break he came over to my classroom.

"Hey William! Pass me that nugget now don't be all selfish", he said, taking a handful of nuggets from my lunch box.

Stuffing his mouth with the handful of nuggets he says something my brain latches on to.

"Aaa ooo gumming fo za fummer gam dish ea?"

Although I partly didn't understand what his nugget stuffed mouth mumbled, my state of gloominess was interrupted and I kept looking at him.......as if it was something that almost got me excited.....but why?

"Wait.....come again?" I asked.

I wait for him to gulp all his food down, while he indicated me to do so, still staring wide at him.

"Are you coming for the summer camp this year?"