Jan 20 : Chaotic Days

Dear Diary,

Things haven't been going well for us recently. The explosion has been escalated. Usually, we wouldn't hear the rumbling from our house as it's a little bit farther away from the battle zone. But these few days, the sound could be heard loudly and clearly.

People in the town have been hiding since then. The street has been deserted, nobody wanted to come out. Rich guys have run to the hills, so the ones that left here are poor people like us.

No one going out also means no one opening store, which has another meaning of no income, which also means that we get no food.

Yes, you heard me right. No food.

I usually help those aunties doing labor work for some pennies and free bread, but now that I have no work to do, and no money, I don't know how to buy food for us. We only have a few loaves of bread left, and it will only last for another day or two if we eat half a portion of what we usually take.

I heard the gossip the battle has almost reached the outskirts of this small town. People have been packing up to leave this town, or else they would become dead meat once it reach the town.

Us too.

We have nothing to pack though, just a few clothes and the few loaves of bread that we have. But we have been planning to leave first thing in the morning tomorrow. Oh! And the jacket as well as a warm blanket. It's freezing cold outside, I must pack them too.

Sister is still too young to get out in this harsh weather, I feel guilty just from thinking that she would need to travel in these cold days. I don't know where we would be going, but it would be better than keep staying here. Joe is coming with us too. He already becomes part of our small family.

I'd be lying if I said I'm not sad to part with this small house of ours. This has been my and sister's sanctuary for the last two years of our lives. We have gone through sunny and rainy days here, even snowy days too.

But don't worry! I'd bring you with me. I spent a few pennies on buying you, I couldn't possibly leave you when I've only used a few pages!

It's just a shame that I can't bring Mom's tomb with us. it's too heavy and it will slow us down if there is ever a need for us to run. I hope Mom will forgive us for leaving her alone here. The only thing I can bring is her wedding ring that I have been wearing on my neck for the past two years.

I wonder if she is lonely up there. But she said that she is going to join Dad on his journey at the stars. So I guess she won't be too lonely if they have been reunited.

Yes, she should have been happy staying beside Dad.

I've been seeing her puffy eyes every single day on those days when Dad left us. And one horrible day when it was raining heavily, someone knocked on our door. It was someone that dressed similarly to the uncle that Joe and I met last week.

I don't know what he told Mom, but when Mom came back to me, she just held I and sister tightly. I could feel wetness on my clothes. I could feel the trembling of her shoulder. She didn't let a voice out for so long. And when she did, there was a choking sound as she told us slowly that Dad has been lost in the stars and it will take longer for him to find the road back home.

I still remembered how hot my eyes felt like, and the lump in my throat. I refused to let her know that, so I just embraced her back as tightly as I could. I knew she was lying. Dad would never find the road back home. And he would never come back anymore.