Chapter Nine: Ubria - The Things we do for Love.
Slowly I open my eyes. My muscles are all stiff and my intimate parts feel robbed. I pat around me, but apart from a warm space, the bed is empty. All though it does mean that Xiáng left not too long ago.
While I am pondering in myself, the door to the bathing room slides open and reveals a half naked Xiáng. "EEEP!" I scream and try to grab the blankets to cover myself. Xiáng chuckles and walks slowly towards me. He lowers his face in front of me and kisses my lips softly. "I have already seen, tasted and felt every part of your body Nuǎn'er, no use in hiding yourself now." I blush fiercely when he notifies me. But then again he is right. I can't even recall how many times we made love in the night. And then another thing dawns on me. "Y-you, t-the, y-you!!" He smiles again. "Say it my love, don't be shy." My head turns red completely. Then I whisper. "You released inside me!"
He nods. "Well, yes of course I did. We are to be man and wife, it has no shame in wanting to fill you completely." I hide myself in my pillow. "It's so cute that you feel so shy about that. I'm going to help your father prepare for the journey, We leave at noon. See you then, my love." I remain hidden in my pillow until he truly leaves. I am so ashamed of myself. What had gotten into me!? When I look up I am met with a darkened red stain in the bed cover. The proof of my lost virginity is right in my face. A tear escapes my eye.
[ Are you sad about this? ]
{ Yes and no. I mean, I'm 16. But then again in my own life I didn't give it up to anyone. I died a VIRGIN! (˚☐˚! )/ }
[ Hello? Did you forget you agreed to marry that evil scum prince? If not for Xiáng he would have taken your virginity! ]
{
I show him my wrist.
{ And I don't have my chastity spot any more. If he finds out, I won't live long or happily. }
[ Ah! But that is not a problem! I have this thing that makes it appear as if you are still a virgin. Including the blood loss. ]
{ ... Why do you have that? }
[ Euh, this? Euuh I-it's in a standard fail-safe package I got as a system? Because hosts sometimes cannot 'adjust' to the ancient rules (especially females) so we need them often. (PLEASE BUY THIS LIE MY DEAREST HOST ＿φ(°-°=)) ]
{ That's both convenient and disgusting. But that means I'm disgusting as well. }
[ Meh, don't think so, you gave your virginity to your soulmate, both for the hosting body and for your own soul. So no big deal. Right? ]
{ If you say so Líng, I trust you. }
After our long conversation I packed my final items in my bags. Especially the ones I wanted to take with me to my new home. Like my poison needles and my special eye drops. I couldn't take things I got from my father which pained me to no end. Then a knock sounded on my door. "Honey can I come in?" I wipe away my sentimental tear and give permission to enter. "I wanted to come and give you something." My father walks towards me with something in his hands. "This bracelet has been in our family for generations and is always worn by a woman from the Qiáng bloodline. The black Jade you see also has protective properties, which are blood related. Since my sister has chosen the Silent Sect, the bracelet has had no wearer. So as my daughter it is your honour to wear it." I nod my head silently and my father slips the bracelet on. "It looks wonderful on you sweetheart." I hug him. "Thanks dad. I love it!"
I can not bear to part with it so I decide to take it with me and claim it is from my mother. Then my father comes with some other big news. "When we arrive at the palace I'll officially take you as my daughter, and with that you'll have a new name. Qiáng Nuǎn Jīng is what you shall be known as." I am shocked. Both happy and a bit angry. "If you can make it Qiáng Zhōng Nuǎn Jīng I'll agree without question." He smiles when he hears me mention my name now. "That will be no problem sweetheart. And as soon as your mother is free and returned to us we can finally be wed and you'll both have your rightful place at my side." He hugs me again and whispers. "You have made me the luckiest and the most happy man in the entire world."
After he leaves I sit down on my bed, a little bit defeated. It dawns to me how much I have to leave behind. How much I have to sacrifice. Tears roll down my cheeks. I don't know how long I sat there, but then I know. I stand up and wipe my tears. I remember why I want to do this. Why I can sacrifice my own happiness and safety. Family. My mothers safety and freedom. Kuài's freedom. I can even help my father and brother from my position at court when I am crowned Empress. Then a darkness falls over me again. The only one who will suffer as much as me will be Xiáng. I hope he can understand me though. He is a general. Ever since he was young and on the battlefield he has sacrificed a lot of himself as well. So, even if it sounds unfair, I expect him to understand me the most. But I hope that he comes and saves me before I lose myself.
Mid Day. Time to leave. All the carriages are packed and ready to go. I grab my two cases for in the carriage. One with the letters for everyone, and one with my 'escape' items. The plan is to replace myself with a doll like figure I made of my clothes and leaves. And then in the second night I'll sneak out and go to the inn where I could rent a horse. The first two days I would have had to go the same road as them anyway so I can use those days to say goodbye to everyone. I'll leave a note in my room that I already went to my carriage to sleep some more and that they can continue the journey. If my calculations are correct they will only notice my absence at the evening meal when they arrive in the next village. My heart pains for me to this. But if I can safe lives, I'll do whatever it takes.
"Do you have everything sis? It will be a while before we come back here." I look up and see my brother Wěi Yì, Xiáng and Chéngshí standing next to my carriage. I nod and smile to them.
Oh, in case you hadn't noticed it, I don't have to wear my veil here so they can see me smile ;).
"Is it all right with you if I ride with you the first day?" Chéngshí looks at me with hopeful eyes. "I'm not strong enough to ride a horse yet." I sigh while laughing softly. "Yeah, it's fine by me." I say that while looking at Xiáng silently searching for his permission. He nods curtly and walks towards his own horse. "Thank the gods, You're the best Nuǎn'er!" Xiáng huffs in the background which makes me chuckle before I climb into my carriage.
After two hours of small talk with Chéngshí, I decide I want to drop the bomb. "So, when do you return to Qiūjì? You cannot hide with my family forever. Especially if you want to marry Xìngfú. She doesn't appreciate cowards." I see him swallow. "I, uhm, I already discussed this with you father, I can stay until I'm fully healed. After that I'll be his most powerful ally/spy at my families court. We are going to try to replace the royal family." I look at him in shock. "Are you not going for the throne then?" He shakes his head. "No absolutely not. I have never wanted it. That has always kept me alive too. But I will take over his original position." I look at him with strange eyes.
He laughs. "While he doesn't know it yet, I plan on becoming the future Right Prime Minister." Then it dawns on me. "Jiàn Dá Háo? You want him to become Emperor?!" He nods. "Well, yes. He is a righteous man, loved by the commoners and he has been trained from a young age to join the court. Maybe not to become Emperor like my brother and me, but he was to take over his fathers position. Making him the perfect candidate!" Taking in this information I can find myself in this solution. My only hope is that they complete this as soon as possible, before I bare that horrid man a son. "This plan, is not so horrible. When is it starting? Are you going to replace the Left Prime Minister as well? I mean, that man is a vile creature, who manipulates everyone to obtain what he wants." He nods. "Off course we thought of that! And we already have a good candidate, Kěxìn Cōngmíng Wēnhé." I smile in surprise.
"Wēnhé as Left Prime Minister? Good luck with that. That guy is the most stubborn man in all of Qiūjì!" I laugh out loud. Chéngshí blushes a little. "Well it is a work in progress. As for the time, we where hoping to do it after my brothers succession to the throne. That way the chaos in court could help us win a lot of the other ministers and nobles over to our cause." I pale a little. "B-but that is quite soon? Y-you know, with his marriage being with the next moon?" I startle him with my question. "What do you mean? I thought him and your sister weren't supposed to marry until the Midsummer Moon?" I heat up. I know this because I am to be the bride in stead of my sister and because of the letter. "You know, the letter he send? I think he is bringing forth the wedding, whether it's me or my sister walking the isle." A serious look appears on his face. "Your right. I'm sorry Nuǎn'er, but I have to speak with your father about this, so tomorrow I wont ride with you."
I smile to him. "It's all right. I can relax on my own as well. Plus I would like for you to discuss on how you are going to safe my Kuài. She is still in your brothers hand and he intends to use her for things only her future husband should be doing with her." I lace my tone with a little bit of anger. So he knows I am serious. Plus I hope that this reminds him to move quickly, which would benefit me while I am stuck with that puke-worthy thing called prince.
The next day Fāng Hé surprised me by joining my carriage. "They took over mine for their meeting, so here I am!" I grab her into a hug. "I've missed you Fāng'er! You have spend way too much time with my brother in stead of my your cousin/sister!" A blush appears on her face. "I'm sorry, it is as if I can't help myself. He is so wonderful!" I smile at her. "Well off course, he is my brother isn't he. And I am amazing as well!" She punches me softly. "You teaser!" We giggle together. "Well, since you are with my brother, that makes you my sister for real now! And the future Empress of Tánhuáng Country!" She falls silent. I wave my hand in front of her face. "E-empress" She whispers. I can see on her face that she totally forgot about my brother being the soul heir to the Tánhuáng Throne. I pat her on her hair.
"Don't worry! You'll have lot's of help! Plus you have been trained to become an important figure so, why not Empress then?" She finally smiles again. "Your right Nuǎn'er! My mom taught me everything I need to know, and I'll get lots of help, right?" I nod my head. "And with you there I have nothing to fear at all!" My smile stiffens. But I cannot break her heart by telling her my plan like I wanted to do. Instead I nod again and try to hide my 'broken' smile. I'm going to miss her so much..
That night I requested to dine with everyone. I wanted to feel their love for the last time. Plus I had put some herbs in the wine which made everyone extra sleepy, so I could slip away totally unnoticed. I hugged everyone as long and close as I could. I even sneaked a kiss to Xiáng which earned me a small blush from him because he didn't expect it. I giggled softly. "After you have been announced as the First Princess of Tánhuáng Country, your father will announce our marriage as well." Then it was my turn to blush. "W-why so fast??" He scratched his neck awkwardly. "I accidentally mentioned that we have been together already." My eyes bulge. "You did what? Who knows?!" He looks away. "Your father, your brother and Chéngshí."
I have never felt more ashamed then at that moment. "How could you!?!" I hiss at him. "It was an accident. But I love you and you love me I don't understand why you are so angry? What if you became pregnant after our night? I cannot let you bear any shame like that." I blush again when he mentioned pregnancy. He did release his stuff inside me every time. It is possible. All though, as I know from my own world, is that it can take very long to become pregnant. One night isn't going to make any difference. "All right. I'll comply with you and father about the marriage." He turns his head with full speed. His eyes beam, and he grants me a smile that will stay printed on my brain forever. He kisses me again. "I love you, Nuǎn. Only you, forever." With those words he retreats to his own room in the inn. Leaving me alone in the hallway, full of regret and pain.
But I have to be strong. They'll come to my rescue. I have to believe that. Xiáng won't rest until I am safe back in his arms. At least, I hope so. No, I know so. He loves me. We are destined to be together. Only death can stop us from reuniting. And with those thoughts I sneak out of the inn. On my way to my nightmare. A nightmare while I'm wide awake.
As I leave the inn behind, a line from a famous movie pops up in my head. I smile sadly while I recite it: "The things we do for Love."
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Jiàn Dá Háo : 健 Jiàn - Build, Establish. 达 Dá - Achieve, Intelligent. 豪 Háo - Brave, Heroic, Chivalrous.
Kěxìn Cōngmíng Wēnhé : 可信Kěxìn - Faithful, Loyal, Sincere. 聰明 Cōngmíng - Clever, Intelligent, Bright. 溫和 Wēnhé - Gentle, Moderate.
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