chapter 23

Ashton

I drown the last bottle of beer before throwing it at a wall. "Calm the fuck down man!" Colton yelled at me and I rolled my eyes.

The front door open to reveal Vanessa and Brittany. Vanessa sigh when she took in my state. Red eyes, messy hair. I just haven't been the same without her.

"Hey babe." Brittany said walking towards me. She sat on my lap before attacking my lips. I kissed back.

Every since Hayley left I haven't been the same. Its crazy how when I'm with her I feel sane but when I'm not I just feel insane...

I'm only using Brittany, I have no feelings for her. All of my feelings for her died 2 years ago, now I feel nothing.

Images of Hayley came to mind making me pull away from Brittany. She frown at me before quickly covering it up. I turn to find Valentino coming into the house.

"How was the meeting?" I asked referring to the meeting with Hunter and Leon.

"It went well. Turns out Hunter found himself a new girl." Val said with a smirk and one form on my lips. Hunter was our cousin and ever since his last girlfriend he never dated again. This girl his with, he must really like her. He never got close to another girl since Riley....

"I'm bored!" Logan complained as he spin a basketball on his finger. I rolled my eyes at him. Still irritated from missing my girl.

Its been two weeks since she ran and I haven't been sleeping, and if I did I would have nightmares.

I'm like my old self, before I even met Hayley. I should be happy but I'm not. Hayley was my sanity. She kept me sane but drove me crazy in so many fucking ways.

"Let's go to the mall." Vanessa suggested bringing me out my thoughts. The girls agreed and looked at me for an answer.

"Fine whatever." I mumble getting up and grabbing my keys. I opened the door and they all cheered before we all left to the mall.

~~~

"We have been walking for hours can we go get food now!" Logan complained making us roll our eyes. We had tons of bags in our hands, thanks to Vanessa and Brittany.

"Fine." Vanessa said and we walked towards the food court. When we got there we picked a empty table. Once we put our stuff down Logan and Colton race to go get our food.

Hungry bastards

"So babe what are we going to do after the mall?" Brittany asked and I just shrug. She stared at my face before letting out a sigh.

I turn to find Vanessa staring at the table with teary eyes. "What is it?" I asked her and her head snapped towards me fast. She open her mouth to say something but an loud voice interrupt.

"HAYLEY!" I froze when I heard her name. I turn to the direction of the voice and my heart stopped when they connected with familiar blue eyes.

I stared at her intensely, so many emotions were running through me all at one. Regret, anger, pain and... love.

Right in front of me is the only girl I love.

I watch as she break eye contact and shot up from her seat. She then ran out the food court. I don't know why but I ran after her. I needed to talk to her, touch her to know I'm not just imaging it. 6

I ran out the mall and my eyes wander over the parking lot. I found her making her way into her car. I quickly ran up behind her and shut the car door.

I then roughly turn her around and push her against the car door. Her head snapped up to me and I was met again, staring into her blue eyes.

I smirked at her. "Miss me sweetheart?" I asked and I didn't miss the way she shivered at my name.

"A-ashton.." I had to hold in a groan, hearing her soft angleic vioce, say my name brought back so emotions and feelings.

I push a strain of her black hair behind her ear. "Why did you ran away?" I asked staring back into her eyes.

"I need fresh air-"

"No Hayley why did you fucking ran from me!" I spat cutting her off. She flinch but my she needed to know this.

And I wasn't going to miss this opportunity.

Hayley

"You took a piece of me when you left. Hell you know took all of me! I haven't been the same without you. Your like my fucking sanity, I need you for I can stay sane sweetheart." He said while looking me straight in the eye.

His eyes held a lot of emotions but pain, anger and love stood out the most. My eyes water but I didn't let them fall.

"Y-you push me away-"

"Little did you know YOU were the one that push me away Hayley." He cut me off stepping closer to me.

I looked away from him knowing he was right. I just couldn't deni it, even if I wanted to. "Sometimes when I push you away I want you to pull me closer to you." I whispered looking back up at Ashton.

He stared at my face searching for any regret or doubt in my words. A small smile then broke out on his lips.

His hands can in contact with my cheeks, caressing them. "You don't know that makes me feel." He whisper and I gave him a smile.

But it soon drop when I remember everything that happen to me when I was with him. The abuse torturing...

"I c-can't." I said and Ashton's eyes darkened.

"You say you want me to pull you closer when you push me away?! It fuckings hurts Hayley." He shouted and I flinch. He took a deep breath before stepping back.

His eyes showed nothing, no emotions just an cold look... He stuff his hands in his pockets before walking away.

He then stopped and turn to face me. "Be careful how far you push me away. I might like it there." He said coldly before turning around and walked off

My heart stopped. I felt like jumping off a bridge right now. Tears filled my eyes and this time I let them fell.

I know that I loved Ashton. Its certain, but I just can't. Not after everything that happen.

I just can't not even if I'm the one hurting at the end....