The second to last dance with death

[Monday]

Exams, short for examination. A formal test of a person's knowledge or proficiency in a subject or skill. Derived from the Latin word examinare.

Exams, to a student, are something they dread. Something no one wants to do but has to. It's understandable as to why exams exist. It's to make sure that you are progressing with whatever it is you are doing. In year 12, the first year of Sixth form, exams are super important. If you fail to pass a subject, you'll have to pick up another subject and join the new year 12s when you start the following year, whilst still doing the subjects you passed.

It's a strange system. If you fail one subject but pass 2, you pick up a new one and continue with the two. If you manage to pass those two at the end of year 13, you get what is called an A-level, if you pass the one you picked up, you'll only get an AS-level. Some people do stay back an extra year if they have to re-sit a subject to continue with their AS-level subject and hope to turn it into an A-level.

The exam period is the same as every year. Sitting in a room filled with the others on your course and hoping your stomach doesn't expose you for not eating breakfast because you overslept or couldn't eat because of nerves.

The exams last around several weeks, with students not having lessons during this time. It was common for it to be referred to as 'study leave' as in, you are on leave to study. However, what people do in the free time can't be controlled by the teachers, only the person that has to study. It meant that a lot of people who didn't care didn't study. With people like Ethan and Ruby using all the time to study, Owen used it to sleep.

There was a lot of stress from those that worried about their grades. If we assume the exams are marked on a system from E to A, with anything below E being a fail. You would need to get at least an E in your subjects to pass. This is different compared to the exams they did last year. Last year, to pass, A-C was required. It could be said the difficulty was what made it an E instead of a C but that may not be known. And we can just call the system stupid for now.

For people like Kaylee and Sean, an E was their goal. It may be low, but staying on the course was what mattered. They could always improve their grades next year as only part of this year goes towards the final grade. Passing this was the first trial that most struggled with. It was a harsh condition for a large leap in difficulty from exams last year. Typically, if a GCSE exam was 1 hour long, then the A-level equivalent would be around double that. This doesn't apply to all subjects as some of the creative subjects like Art require a 48-hour exam, over the span of multiple days.

In the exam hall. Nerves will strike. That is what was happening to Simon. It had been a while since he felt the stress of the exam hall. The presence it creates can haunt one for years to come.

If you go in unprepared and underestimate the exam, you won't make it out alive. Simon sat in the exam hall, bouncing his leg up and down as he read each question multiple times hoping that he'll be able to understand it. Each page he turned, he turned with little to no confidence. Even in a room full of people that felt the same you can't help but feel as if you are failing.

The stress this room produced was immeasurable. Sometimes if your exam went into lunch, you'd be able to hear the younger years playing in the field. The yells and arguments of the kids were something to be envious about. They were free whilst you were trapped inside with only the sound of pen and paper to keep you company. The hall gets longer with every look up to see those around you. But turning your head too far to the right or left is an automatic fail, under speculation of cheating. The colossal monster of exams was no joke.

Simon kept checking the time. He repeated this several times a minute, hoping time would stop or the school would suddenly explode so he could escape. Even when he tries to focus on the work and calm his mind he struggles to find confidence in what he has written. To him, it was something that he wouldn't want anyone to read. He thought that he was talking about an unimaginable amount of bullshit. However, even with this. There was the possibility that it could be good. Although he lacked confidence in what he was doing, there was still the chance. Being confident doesn't make you magically good. What makes you good is practice and determination to do better than before. The passion for carrying on and getting the mark you want could be enough. In written subjects, all you need is to act as if you know. Since the examiner won't know you personally, he can't tell that you haven't shown up to class for the last year. You just need to be good at bullshitting.

By the end of the week, most people would have finished their exams. They were now free until they return back to collect their results in August. From there, if they pass, they'll be back in the same situation next year but with an even bigger threat. A cycle that lasts for too long when at a young age. Perhaps, no matter the age you'd think the same. If an adult was in the same conditions, maybe they would struggle.