thirty three

You looked at Taehyung, at his beautiful, trusting, happy face, and felt more love than you'd ever felt before for anyone. You weren't going to think about anything else right now, except for how much you loved him, how his happiness meant more to you than anything, and how you would do anything, just to see him smile, even if that meant letting him go.

~ ♡ ~

The two of you spent the day at the Han River Park, enjoying each others company. It was beautiful, and you were thankful to have one more memory to add to your broken heart . You hid your feelings well, because Tae seemed at ease, laughing easily, smiling beautifully, his eyes reflecting the sun that was shining so brightly.

He had brought a blanket, and stopped at a cute little café, getting take-out to bring, so you could have a picnic lunch. You tried one more time to get the hang of the chopsticks, laughing every time you thought you had it, only for whatever you'd been holding to fall before it made it to your mouth. Finally, after more attempts than you cared to count, you got a piece of chicken into your mouth without dropping it. That fact encouraged you, and you tried again, surprisingly getting the piece of broccoli to your mouth as well. A few minutes later, you were eating with chopsticks, by yourself. You smiled proudly, and Tae high fived you.

"I don't know if I'm happy that you learned to use the chopsticks, though." He pouted cutely.

"What? Why, I thought you wanted me to learn."

"I did. But now I don't get to feed you anymore." He frowned, and you giggled. You felt your heart tighten, and you ignored it, looking at him and winking.

"Who said you can't still feed me. Just because I learned, doesn't mean I can't pretend I don't know how to use them."

He smiled, and took another piece of his kimbap, holding it effortlessly between his chopsticks. "Yeah, true. But I've gotta admit, it was fun watching you try to hold them correctly. I knew you'd figure it out eventually." He stuck the whole thing in his mouth, chewing noisily.

You made a face at him, and grabbed another piece of broccoli, popping it into your mouth. You were enjoying the day, forgetting for the time being that it could be the last time you'd get to spend time with him like this.

You'd finished eating, and both of you ended up on your backs, looking up at the sky. The sun was bright, and you put your hand up to shield it from your eyes. You turned your head, looking at Tae, to see that he had his eyes closed, and he seemed to be enjoying the warmth of the sun on his face. You looked at him sadly, wishing that maybe you'd met him under different circumstances. But even so, you wouldn't change a thing.

It struck you as odd that you'd only known him for 5 days. That 5 days felt like a lifetime. But it still was only 5 days. That should make it easier to let him go. But it wouldn't. There would be nothing easy about what you were planning to do.

You looked at him, and tried to commit his face to your memory. You looked at his lashes, resting against his cheeks, his perfect nose with the cute freckle under the tip, his soft pink lips, his sharp jawline. You wanted to bury your face in the crook of his neck, and run your fingers thru his hair. You wanted to kiss him. But you couldn't . You were in a public place. There were people around.

But what did it matter. Soon, you wouldn't have to worry about getting hate, or death threats for being his girlfriend. Because soon...you wouldn't be his girlfriend anymore.

"I know you're looking at me. I can feel it..." he murmured, his hand sliding across the blanket, searching for yours. You smiled, and reached for his hand, curling your fingers thru his.

"So what if I am. What are you gonna do about it? It's not like you can stop me." You smiled to yourself as you watched his brows rise above his closed eyes.

"That's what you think, huh? We'll just have to see about that, won't we?"

Your taunt had the desired effect, because he turned onto his side, his eyes opening once he was safe from the blinding sun, and then he was hovering over you, kissing you, your eyes closing, which meant you could no longer look at him. It was what you'd hoped for. You reacted the way you thought he'd expect you to, gasping and trying to push him away. "Tae, there's people around, someone is going to see us."

He glanced up, looking around. "No one is paying any attention, y/n, because we're in the park, and this stuff happens all the time in the park." He tilted his head to the side. "But if you're that worried about it, I'll take care of it." Without warning, he grabbed the edge of the blanket farthest from him, and pulled it over the both of you, wrapping it around you like a taco, shielding you from everyone's view.

You giggled, smiling up at him, loving his playfulness. He stared at you, and seconds later, he was kissing you again, deeply. It was exactly what you wanted. You kissed him back, your arms winding around him, holding on, never wanting to let go. Why couldn't you just stay here, just like this, forever?

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Tae had suggested a walk, and it had been beautiful. By the time you were ready to head back, it was just starting to get dark, and everything was lit up. There were a million stars in the sky, and you gazed up at them as you walked, your hand in Tae's, your arms swinging lightly.

"I have to go in to work tomorrow. It's going to be a long day. We have a meeting, and then an interview. Most likely practice after. I figured you could get used to the house, look around, figure out where everything is, and just make yourself at home. I might not be home till pretty late.  Will you be okay?"

Your heart twisted, and you hated this. Hated that he sounded like a husband making sure his wife would be okay all day without him.  Because tomorrow was exactly the kind of day you needed. You didn't know it would happen so soon, but you weren't going to take the chance to wait for another one like it. You needed a whole day to yourself to do what you had planned.

"Of course, I'll be fine. You just do what you've gotta do, and don't worry about me."

You walked the rest of the way in silence, and before long you reached his house. After getting inside, he turned on a lamp,  put the blanket on the couch, and sat, patting the spot next to him. You sat beside him, and looked at him, assuming he had something to say.

"Y/n, are you sure you're okay? Because I get the feeling that something is really bothering you, and you're keeping it all inside. I just don't know why. We promised not to keep things from each other, and I'd like to still keep that promise. You know you can tell me anything, right?"

There was a tiny small part of you that wanted to tell him, and that wanted him to not let you go, to tell you that he needed you, and that he couldn't make it without you. But you knew he didn't need you, because he had the guys, and millions of fans who loved him. You knew he would be fine without you. You knew you weren't going to tell him, because you knew that if he tried to get you to stay, you would.

"It's nothing Tae, really. I think I just need to catch up on sleep is all. Maybe I'm still suffering from the time difference, It has only been 5 days, so my body probably just hasn't adjusted yet. Maybe I'll try to get some extra sleep tomorrow while you're gone, and see if it helps at all."

He studied your face for a few minutes, then leaned in to kiss your forehead. "Okay, well, how bout we go to bed then. I just wanna hold you all night."

You smiled, and nodded. "I'd like that."

He locked the door, and turned off the lamp, taking your hand and leading you up the stairs. Once in the bedroom, he started moving the pillows from the bed to the floor. He finished, and turned back to you, coming to stand in front of you.

"Can I undress you? I don't want anything but to hold you, except I want to feel your skin against mine. Is that okay?" He looked at you tenderly.

You nodded, your heart feeling like it was being ripped in two. This was the last night you would lie next to him, in his arms. It was the last night you would get to feel his body against yours, or press your lips to his neck. It was the last night you'd listen to his heart beat, or smell his scent. You were doing the right thing. He'd be grateful later, wouldn't he?

He gently removed your clothes, then his, folding the covers back, and getting into bed, holding them up so you could join him. You crawled into his embrace, his skin feeling so warm against yours, and you pressed your ear to his chest, listening to his heartbeat, letting it calm you. You couldn't stop the tears that quickly welled up in your eyes, feeling them spill over onto your cheeks, except he didn't see them. But it was only a few seconds before he felt them.

When he realized you were crying, he pulled back, looking down at you, worried. "Why are you crying?"

"I'm happy, Tae. Today was a perfect day, and this is perfect, and I'm just happy."

He accepted it, and pulled you to him again, rubbing your back, and singing softly, until you finally fell asleep.