Prologue

I remember how I used to be happy when she's with me. Having fun, full of smiles and laughters, tears that easily vanished, sorrows that was comforted as soon as we can and we have the over flowing love that no one can imagine that exists. We believed that we're destined. We believed that we will grow old together. We believed that we will meet at the end of the aisle and say our vows. We believed that our love will last forever..

That was before an incident happened. A news that made my world crashed, our dreams that will never be granted, my life became black and white, and for me.. living is worthless, making money is worthless, breathing is worthless.. everything is worthless. She's my world. She's my everything. She's my life. Without her is toxic.

Our fate is playful. My heart is in pain. Could I still go on?

There's a saying that first love never dies. I guess I should believe in that too.

I, Joshua Mclain Lauengco is the man who can't be moved. The man who was still inlove with the woman she will never see.. again.

Vanessa Raine Cordova

***

I live with luxury, fame and pride. That's what makes me happy and contentment is not in my vocabulary.

I'm a gorgeous, hot chick and men begs for my love. Love? For me it's just fantasy and happy endings don't exist.

I know how to play with them but I will never care to accept their feelings. Am I a sadist? Of course not, I just learned based on my experience. An experience that shouldn't be brought up again.

I enjoy how I spend my life every night at the bar. Going shopping everyday and doing whatever I want with freedom.

But everything changed because of an incident. An accident that I participated in. A regretful scenario which made my life like this..

The life I never imagine I will be in. The other side of my world that I never wished to have. But what can I do?

Fate is playful. Could I still bring my old life back?

Who am I? I can't even remember..