Rush hour in the bus
It was rush hour and the bus was packed. One particularly cramped woman turned to the man behind her and said, 'Sir, if you don't stop poking me with your thing, I'm going to the cops!'
'I don't know what you're talking about miss - that's just my pay check in my pocket.'
'Oh really,' she spat. 'Then you must have some job, because that's the fifth raise you've had in the last half hour!'
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The Whale revenge
A family of whales was swimming around on a nice day. Suddenly a boat with harpooners came and killed the baby whale.
A few years went by and the same boat came around again. When the father whale saw it, he said that they should pay for killing their son.
He turned to the wife and said, "Lets go under the boat and blow as hard as we can then tip the boat over."
The wife agreed, so they went under the boat and blew as hard as they could and tipped the boat over. They went back to the top and saw all of the men swimming to rafts and grabbing life jackets.
The dad whale says, "We didn't do enough to them to pay them back, lets go eat some of them now."
The wife said, "Now hold on a minute I agreed to the blow job but I`m not going to swallow any sea men."
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Women's Hotel
Four beautiful ladies walked into a hotel to stay in for the night, the name of the hotel read, "Pleasure Giving Hotel For Women" The ladies were convinced and walked in.
On the first floor a sign read, 'the men on this floor are not good at having sex, but are very gentle and very tempting'.
The ladies were not satisfied and they walked to the second floor which a sign read, 'the men on this floor are good at having sex but are very rude and self-considerate'
The ladies were once again not satisfied and went on to the third floor where a sign said, 'There are nothing wrong with the men on this floor, they're good at having soft sex they are very nice, gentle and hot' the four ladies were tempted to go in but decided to go to the last floor to see what was in it.
When they got there they saw a sign that said, 'There is absolutely no one on this floor, this floor was just made to show that there is no way to please a woman'