Love Thyself

Vanya: (giggling with joy) my phone number?

Paul: Yes, so we can talk over the phone, listen to each other's problems and getting to know each other more.

Vanya: I'm sorry I can't give you my number.

Paul: Why not?

Vanya: I just can't. Sorry. Bye.

I saw him typing (….) but I logged my account before reading his message. I jumped into my bed and lay down comfortably. I hugged my bible and said to myself that I want to study first and then fall in love after. Thinking of my future, I didn't notice that I had fallen asleep.

The next morning, I dressed myself to go to school. My friends are waiting, I want to tell them what happened last night but I was so afraid that I might be wrong about my decision. I was afraid that my chances of having a boyfriend slipped out of my fingers just like that. Will someone still likes me even though I am fat and ugly and has no sense of style?

I manage to gain strength at the end of the day and ask my friends to go out and eat. They all agreed. I was aiming for a chance to tell them. We strolled around the city park and ate street foods. As I was about to tell my friends "he" showed up! Paul! He was riding his bicycle; I couldn't look at him directly that time because I was embarrassed. He shouted my name four times but I refused to look at him. My friends are wondering why so when Lilura came to him and talked for like thirty minutes, I took the chance to tell them. They were all giggling and excited. Some were shaking me and pushing me to go to him. I told them to…

Vanya: STOP! You guys just stop! I am so embarrassed right now so please stop it you were all trying to make me look desperate!

Maren: HAHAHA! You look so red Vanya!

Otsana: Girl! If you like him we will support and we will always be on your back.

Dinah: yes, but what happened? Why didn't you give your phone number?

Vanya: I like to study first. That's why.

Freya: Then we respect your decision. Right girl's?

All: yes! We love you and it will not change no matter what!

Vanya: Aaaaaw! You guys! You are the best! No! you are the ultra super great best friends I had ever had!

Otsana: Group hug!

Lilura: Wait! How about me?

Dinah: C'mon slow poke! HAHAHA

Paul saw me with my friends and left just like that. I never heard about him ever since. I don't know what happened to him. He doesn't even come to our house anymore. I wonder why but I pray for his good health.

One morning, Lilura came to me running and shouting wait!...

Lilura: Van, I forgot to tell you something

Vanya: What is it my friend?

Lilura: You remember the day when we all got out and eat street food?

Vanya: Yeah why?

Lilura: Then you saw me talking to your first love?

Vanya: yeah, he looks so cute and chubby and his – wait a minute why are you asking me this?

Lilura: Haha! I just want to tell you that I told him to stay away from you and respect you.

Vanya: You did? You don't have to do that Lil, I may cause you trouble

Lilura: Yes because I know his games. He just wants to play with your feelings. He is not a good boyfriend material.

Vanya: How do you know all this?

Lilura: Bes (short for best friend), I know all of that because we are close friends. He tells me everything. From playing with girls' feelings and then makes them cry then get close to another girl then the cycle continues until he is satisfied. I just don't want you to suffer the same fate as my cousin Jenna. Jenna is Paul's fourteenth ex-girlfriend and I think he is now on number thirty six.

Vanya: What a jerk! What did that jerk tell you after you said that he should stay away from me?

Lilura: He told me that he was sorry and promised me he will never play with your feelings anymore.

Don't you worry Van, if he will bother you again I swear I will punch him in his balls!

Vanya: HAHAHA! Thank you Lil, I appreciate that. But before I saw him, we already chatted online but I refused to gave him my phone number so it's okay. I will get over him soon enough.

Lilura: That f*cking playboy knows no boundaries!

Vanya: Sssh! Lil your words!

Lilura: Oh right sorry.

Vanya: I just want to focus on my studies before finding love and getting into relationships. It may come in the future right?

Lilura: Yes, good for you. Oh! I forgot one last detail in my story. He also told me he likes to meet Otsana and that he is willing to court her.

Vanya: Who? Paul?

Lilura: I know right he is blind seeing Otsana, that monkey eating banana

Vanya: HAHAHA Otsana may hear you again.

Lilura: Let her that monkey

Vanya: HAHAHA You know what it is getting dark let's go home.

I can believe that guy! One night he likes to get my number the next day he likes my friend? Lilura is right, I don't need that kind of guy. Who is he anyway? Yeah, he is cute but whatever. Fortunately, I moved on from it. I studied hard and well. There are challenges and certain situations but I know that God will not give us any challenge we cannot overcome. I manage to fail one subject. It raised my anxiety but I will stand through it all.

Some of my friends even graduated and passed their board exams early. While I was left behind so I tried even harder however after two years, I managed to graduate and pass my board exam. Now I proudly present to you all my self; that I Vanya once failed, once fallen but never rested; is a single newly registered nurse with a fare paying job and an independent young woman at the age of twenty two. I am Vanya and this is my story.~

Learn to love yourself first and don't ever let feelings and emotions overcome of what you really are. Single? No problem status is a choice which you yourself decided. If you wish to remain single be it if you wish to find love search it, in the end you still need to be honest with yourself and you must be comfortable with your decision. Never let others decide your happiness because in the end they will not carry your burden with you my dear remember that.