Thought 25-What would you do?

I feel like I'm so young, or I should be. I've been forced to grow up since I was 7, maybe not that harsh compared to others but whatever. My mom was an alcoholic and my dad was overseas due to being in the military.

Bullying was constant, betrayal after friendship always. I started to feel a distance between me and everyone I ever met, as ridiculous as that sounds. I felt myself looking in from a one way glass on the ones around me.

I've lost friends and family, and suffered the wrath of my inner demons; I know it sounds like an exaggeration but its how I feel. How am I supposed to feel after coming all this way, and coming out the other side a stronger person; I won't say better because thats not my call.

How am I supposed to feel knowing that I suffered over 20 years of torture just to find out I only get to live a few more ok ones? How am I supposed to feel knowing I have to give all this up, how am I supposed to feel leaving all this behind?

I never get to leave my mark, I never get to get married. I'll never have a daughter or son, I'll never be surrounded by people who love me on my deathbed. How do I feel, how would you feel? What am I supposed to do, what would you do?