Chapter VII - Him and I #2

Against my very will, memories of Igor come back to me. I try to ignore them, but I can't...

'Failure... Failure!' The words scream out at me, make me feel humiliated. They bring me back and make me feel like the moment those words left his mouth...

I take in a deep breath before slowly trying to disregard all the hurtful phrases that were said by him.

I guess James noticed my discomfort when his caresses upon me stopped.

"Are you okay?" he whispers to me.

A lump forms in my throat, making talking difficult, so I just nodded against him.

I hear him let out a quiet sigh. "I don't believe that..." he replies.

Despite the pain in my throat, I take a deep breath before trying to speak. "I'm fine..." is all that manages to come out of me. I just hope those words sound convincing enough... but I can't help but think otherwise.

"No..." he begins. "You are not fine... I can both see and hear that you are not fine, Ana. I want you to tell me what is bothering you... please..." he adds only seconds later.

Am I going to humiliate myself even further when I tell him that some useless words said by my ex still bother me, even to this day?... Realistically, I hope not... but there is only one way to find out.

"If there is anything that is bothering you, no matter how big or small this problem is, I just want you to know that I am here and that I will hear you out," he says. "I'll also understand if you don't feel comfortable speaking about whatever it is," he adds.

"No, it's fine..." I begin. "It's just some fucking shit my ex said to me. Even if those the words were said a few years ago, they still leave an impact on me..." I add, giving him a sheepish smile. Even though I know I had every right to end it with him, I feel like I have done a crime for doing so. He made me feel like I have committed a crime for doing so.

"Mmm, okay..." he says, in an understandable manner. "Is that all?" he asks, as his hand rubs my back in reassurance.

I look up at him, into his eyes before diverting my eyes elsewhere.

"I'm just worried about what will happen when you go back to America...".

Then silence drops between us. But only seconds pass before he pulls me into a hug. His action draws my tears from my eyes.

"That is no reason for you to worry, at least not now..." he begins in a gentle whisper. "We will work something out, Ana... okay?" he says, and I nod against him.

He gently parts from our hug before his hands take gentle hold of my face. His thumbs wipe any tears off my cheeks.

"Don't cry, okay?...". I nod in his hands.

Then a small smile forms on his lips as he gently pulls me closer to him. His lips press against my forehead before he gives me a kiss. From my forehead, he gently and tenderly kisses my lips.

"Don't worry about my departure. I want us both to enjoy these couple of days that we have together. Alright?" he says with his forehead gently pressed against mine.

I give him another sheepish smile, nodding against him. "Okay..." I say.

I take a deep breath. "I am sorry if I came off as needy, it wasn't my intention..." I say a few moments later, breaking the short-lived silence.

"Don't worry, you didn't..." he says, concurrently both shaking his head and furrowing his brows. "You just needed some reassurance. I don't see anything wrong with that.". Throughout him talking, I notice the way he does not take his eyes off of me.

His gaze causes a funny sensation to spread throughout my stomach, in turn making me giggle ever so slightly.

"Thank you, James. I now feel that bit better..." I say with another smile growing on my lips.

Of course, any time..." he replies. "I don't like seeing you sad..." he adds a couple of seconds later.

"I don't know what I would have done without you...". Which reminded me... "By the way, how did you manage to find me?" I ask him.

He lets out a chuckle.

He then looks into my eyes before answering my question. "Well... first of all, I listened to your voice messages..." he begins, but with him mentioning my voice messages, I couldn't help but break into laughter ever so slightly.

He raises an eyebrow, a smile slowly growing bigger and bigger on his lips.

"What's so funny?". My laughter stops.

"Umm, I guess because of how stupid the voicemails that I sent you sounded..." I reply.

"Ah, I'd rather say otherwise..." he begins. "I thought they were pretty darn cute..." he adds a couple of seconds later. His words cause me to blush.

"Anyways..." be begins. "I tracked the number from your voice mail and... Long behold... here we are...".

"Ah, so you tracked down my number... I see..." I say, a small smile taking over my face. "So you went through that to just get to me?".

"Of course... I'd go through everything and anything to get to you...". His words leave me blushing. I notice his recitation to the words he said not so long ago...

"Aw, stop..." I chuckle at him as I feel my heart beginning to flutter.

"It's true though..." he replies lowly with a smile patched on his lips.

From there, we spend a couple of seconds gazing into the eyes of each other. I feel like I can never get enough of his ocean blue marbles...

"You know... you have the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen, James..." I say, before taking my place onto his shoulder.

"Why, thank you very much. Yours are not bad too...". I can hear the teasing in his voice.

"Thank you, you're such a gentleman..." I say.

He broke into laughter. I can only assume that he picked up my sarcasm.

Then he took me by surprise when he pushed me down against the sofa before taking his place on top of me.

"You know I was only kidding. You have such beautiful eyes too, the colour in your gaze reminds me of an endless ocean of wonders and epic beauty..." he says and my heart once again tickles to his words. "But at the same time, your eyes allow me to see that beautiful soul of yours...".

I can't help but smile, before also biting my lip.

"You are really good with words, you know that?..." I say and I can't help but chuckle.

"Ah, I can vividly remember I have been told so not so long ago. I remember I gave a woman a letter, which in turn she said that I have quite a way with my writing...". He marks the end of his sentence with a wink. "That woman being you, Ana..." he whispers into my ear before his lips land back onto mine.

We stay tangled for a couple more seconds before we both part.

"I am so glad that you found me..." I whisper to him.

"Me too...".

Then, he pulls me back into another, passionate hug. I hug him back just as strongly.

From there, we stay like that for a couple of minutes, enjoying our embrace. I then turn my head ever so slightly, with doing so, I once again get a wave of scent from the top James has on himself. But this time, I sense something different. Yes, the scent brings my ex back to my mind... but... I also sense James's scent intertwined within the sweater...

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"Do you want to watch something on Netflix or something?" I ask James. I am laying on the couch with James behind me. We are both covered by a thin blanket. His legs are intertwined with mine as one of his arms has my body under his embrace.

James is resting on his hand that is anchored by his elbow against the sofa, right behind my head.

"Just as long as I have you in my arms, I don't mind what we watch. Even if it Disney movies," he says and I can't help but chuckle at his words.

I scan through all the movies and choose one. Within seconds, the movie begins, its also then that I find sleep creeping up on me.

I don't know how much time had passed, but I fell asleep.

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The sound of knocking on the door startles me awake. I hear gentle breaths behind me. Looking back, I see that James is asleep.

I chuckle at the way his hands are wrapped around me as if I was to run away in my sleep.

The knocking sounds again, kicking me out of my thoughts. I look towards the door before looking at the TV. I see that the movie is still running.

I reach out for the remote of the television before putting the program on a halt. The minutes below give me an approximate time to how long my nap was. About half an hour. Then, I look down at his hands. How will I get out of his embrace without waking him up?

I try to move his hand as gently as I possibly can, but I guess even when he is asleep, not a single movement can get past him. He moves before waking up.

"Is everything okay?" he asks while rubbing his eyes.

"Yeah... there is just someone at the door..." I reply, getting up onto my feet. From there, I begin to make my way towards the door. Halfway through my way, I stretch my hands out.

Then, reaching the door, I unlock it before opening the door.

A sudden wave of joy fills me up.

"Mama! Tata! (Mom! Dad!)".