She didn't know what to respond, yet she felt something snapped deep inside her. It was joy with a mixed of worry. She knew deep inside her that she wasn't the right person for Alex.
April withdrew away from Alex and took a couple steps back. She turned around and hugged herself. She felt dirty, dirtier than trash. Those images, those memories inside her head came rushing forth. Tears kept flowing down her eyes, as she tried to control her emotions.
Alex was stunned when April pulled away. "April? I didn't mean to scare you. I meant what I said. I'm serious about us. I want us and Sky to be a real family." He then slowly walked closer behind her and hugged her from behind. He kissed her head and then burrowed his face in her neck.
April felt her throat aching as she force her emotions down. She closed her eyes, afraid that she will breakdown. "I .... I..." She kept trying to say something, but her voice was shaky. As if something was lodged in her throat.
Alex could feel that April was hesitating about something. He knew how delicate she is, he was afraid of losing her and also hurting her. He would never want her to lose herself again, just because of his selfishness.
"You don't have to force yourself to reply now. I can wait. Like how waited for me. This time, I will wait for you. As long as you we stay together, I'm willing wait." Alex withdrew and turned April around. Her tears broke his heart. Since she didn't reply, he pulled her head towards his chest.
"Hush baby, It's alright. I'd rather be the one getting hurt, than to see you cry." Alex patted her back while hugging her.
April couldn't take it anymore and cried loudly. She was happy, too happy. Alex was her sun while Sky was her rainbow. Everything felt colorful and joyful with them around. It was already a selfish thing for her to come near Alex, let alone become his Mistress. Now that he was asking for her to make him the most happiness man on this world, how could she respond to that?
"I.. I.." She kept repeating, in between her sobs and hiccups.
"Shh. You don't have to answer me right now. It's alright. I'm already happy being with you." Alex kissed her head again. He liked the feelings that April makes him feel. Being wanted and needed. It was enough for him, as long as they were together.
"No.. *sniff* .. Let me talk.." April withdrew and wiped her tears away. She then looked at Alex in the eyes.
"I.. I.." April bit her lower lips. "I don't deserve you." Her voice was extremely shaky, like she was about to cry again.
"Oh baby.. Don't say that." Alex took both of her hand to his and then placed her right hand on his chest.
"If there is something here that don't deserve anything, it should be me. I don't deserve a very special woman like you. You're too beautiful, inside and out. You make everyone feel drawn to you and love you. I am one of those people. Not only did I felt drawn to you, you also made me feel whole. Something that I have never felt before.
You made me experience different kinds of joy. All and all, I love every single bit of it. Listen to my heart, baby. I am serious April. I am serious about us. I know that It might not be an easy road to take, but please give me chance.
Fight for me, fight for us. Fight for something that you want. Didn't you tell me that you love me all these years? Don't tell me that now that I love you, you will give up just like that? Now that I want us to be together, you aren't interested with me anymore?" Alex let go of her left hand and wiped the tears away from her face. It was still flowing out nonstop. Right now, his heart was hurting. Knowing that he was the reason for making her cry.
April closed her eyes and shake her head. "No! I love you! More than you could ever know!"
Alex smile but then he froze, as she spoke her next words.