"I don't deserve you because I am dirty. I am tainted with those men. *gulped* No matter I do, no matter what medicine I take. They always call for me. Teasing me, Drugging me, Playing with my body, Hurting me and Raping me." April took her hand away and took one step back. She look at him in the eyes. She could see that Alex was shocked with this revelation.
"I never told anyone of this, cause I know they will only feel more guilty about themselves and then pity me. I'm telling you this because I'd want you to understand, that it's never going to be easy with me. Those monsters.." She said in disdain.
"Those monsters always haunt me at night or anytime that some other man touches me. I could never run away from them. I tried, I tried everything that the doctors told me to do. Yet nothing worked at all!" Her eyes were red from crying. Yet Alex could see that she was angry, angry to those people who haunted her dreams and her mind.
"Do you see it now? I am a dirty woman Alex. I've been hand down to not just a couple of men. They called me the Boss's whore! He served me like I'm some sort of a special delicacy! He made me experience different kinds of "pleasure" and different types of man. Small, Tall, Clean, Rugged, Fat, Thin, Husky, Muscled, Wealthy and even with a homeless man!
Although he served me to them, he was kind enough to make sure that everyone was clean. Just because he still wanted to fuck me after fucking with everyone! He didn't want his whore to get a dirty disease and accidentally spread it back to him. But he like knowing that I have been fucked by everyone! He usually watches me as those other men take their turns. He is vile man, Alex! He even told me that It makes him turn on, just by seeing the look of my face.
Yet all those times, I was drugged. Drugged to make me beg for them, yet cannot control my own body and reasoning. It was like I am conscious but not awake. Now tell me Alex, do you still want a woman like me? Do you still want me to fight for you? For us? When I clearly don't deserve you.
I pretended to myself and to everyone that I'm alright, but everyday it had been getting worst. I only got lucky that I became more skilled in hiding my pains and from keeping myself from totally losing my mind. All for Sky's sake, I didn't want to lose my son and I don't want him to lose his only mother.
I love you Alex, but I won't let you experience a dark and unstable road with me. You deserve much better than that!." It was the very first time that she opened her self, painting those dark memories out from her mouth. It hurts remembering all of them, but it hurts more seeing the ugly look in Alex's face.
Alex's mouth had been open since she started talking. How terrible, he thought. No wonder she had lost her self, it a miracle that she didn't fully went crazy. No wonder she felt dirty, insecure and reluctant to share her experience. "April .. I.."
"Don't.. Don't ever say that you felt sorry for me. I don't need it!" April then stormed out. She tried to remember the way to the elevator was. When she finally found it, she then call for the elevator.
Alex stunned. He actually was about to say those words, but only because it was human nature. He had never knew anyone personally who had went through those experience, so he didn't know what to say exactly. Alex had never been to his parent's organizations, so he doesn't know how to react properly.
When he finally realized that April wasn't in front of him anymore, he instantly ran for the elevator. It didn't took him long to realize it, so he caught April who was just about to enter the elevator. Though he didn't know how to respond or how to properly act, he knew one thing though. He love April, no matter what she said about her past, it was already in the past. Right now, all that mattered to him was her. April is going to be his and his alone.
He caught her wrist and pulled her body out from the elevator. His other hand made her turn around, so that she could face him. Without a word, he fully took her lips angrily.