Like no one ever was!

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Back in the pokemon center, I'm lazily eating a sandwich while watching a machine. The cut on my head was cleaned and some paste was lightly spread over it to protect from infection.

The machine has my net ball containing my Joltik, Tesla, "honestly, this looks like an oversized microwave, how do pokeballs work anyway?"

Lacy wipes her mouth and puts down her own lunch, "It's not quite my expertise, they said in school that pokemons' cells can be broken down into data like computer information or being scanned into a fax machine, and stored in the balls. This machine scans and repairs damaged cell information."

That feels more like an explanation I'd hear for digimon but alright. I won't ignorantly nitpick the science of alternative worlds.

Scratching my chin, "I doubt this is a free service?"

She waves a napkin filled hand, "It's on me this time. It actually isn't that bad, just a bit to help the utilities bill of the center. The service is included when you rent a room for the night."

Good to know, "So how do trainers make income anyway, oh, and what is the currency?"

Her left brow raises, "your memory sure is selective. Nothing too fancy, poke dollars, most just say poke. The entire economy is based on the pokemon league after all."

She starts cleaning up from lunch, "since training starts pretty young there are plenty of simple ways to earn poke. The Pokemarts will pay for herb and berry collection, the research facilities will reward any interesting finds, fossils for example here in Rustboro. You can also catch specific pokemon for breeders."

I toss my napkin into the wastebasket, "after that is battling I assume?"

The doc nods, "yup, except official league matches, you need to put down poke to battle anyone."

"Then who pays to keep the gym lights on?"

The machine beeps, Lacy takes out my ball and puts it in my hand.

She explains while diligently checking out the machine monitor report, "Taxes and league income again, gyms are responsible for monitoring the pokemon in the local area after all. This includes cracking down on mischievous trainers as well."

Got it, it's like Canada and hockey.

"Hey, how do I get one of those Pokedex things?"

This time she gives me a strange look, "those were outdated ten years ago once most of the general information was compiled, now we have a phone app. Just go make some money near here and buy one at the mart. You better give me a phone number before you run out of town."

I give a salute, "yes ma'am! So, I suppose I should try to make a few poke before today ends?"

The doc nods, "just clean rooms here in the morning and collect herbs from the pamphlet on the front counter to sell. After a week you should have enough for a basic phone."

"Well I'll hop to it then, oh, I don't suppose I can look up some stuff on Joltik first?"

"Go ahead and use one of the terminals in the lobby, they have the dex program. Be prepared to get a lot of attention if folks see little Tesla."

Should I be worried about some Team Rocket types? "Are shinys Really that rare? One literally fell into my lap... head."

"Hmm," She puts her thoughts together for a second.

I'm totally about to get the grade school TLDR aren't I.

"Okay," She pulls up picture of a rock with arms and a face on her phone, "This baseline, grey stone coloration is considered the base gene expression for the Geodude line." She then flips to a chart with over a dozen variations, "Now we see the effect their environment has on their development."

So much for grade school. Some of the rock pokemon in the line up look like they're made of granite, others veined marble, even one of obsidian.

Lacy taps that last one, "This one, it qualifies as a Shiny, and not because it's reflective." She smirks at my comment being cut off, "The other's are just normal adaptations based on diet. This one involves a mutation based on either mixed breeding or multiple generations of Geodude living in a special area, it was born this way."

"Right," looking back at my Net Ball, "So, Joltik don't just turn red by eating one type of berry or something."

"Exactly. You'll have to find an actual bug type expert if you want more details on your sparker."

The doctor looks out at the trainers in the lobby, "It mostly boils down to the old saying of 'luck is when preparation meets opportunity.' Finding a shiny pokemon isn't really that difficult if you know how to look for them."

"Now," She stands up with a stretch, once more showing off a hint of the abs under that t shirt, her smirk telling me she knows I'm looking, "get out there and make some phone money, or I have no one to send any swim suit photos."

Her smile falters a bit, "Unfortunately, I do have work to do. Some idiot tried to chase off a Nidorino with a stick on Monday and I need to see if the swelling has gone down enough to fit a cast."

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With great reluctance I leave the company of the girl of my one night of dreams. The lobby isn't too crowded, most trainers would be out and about. A few are gathered at a simple cafeteria set up across the lobby. It's more of the same pokemon from yesterday, one young girl has a Whismur that I could easily mistake for a purple plush toy.

Sitting down at the public terminal, I take out the net ball and open it at the desk. My Tesla appears, she lazily stretches her legs, barely larger than a coconut. Her metallic red hair shining under the fluorescent lights. I scratch her head, she chitters happily and hops into my lap, nestling into my clothes.

The station seems to auto detect the Joltik with it's camera and brings up the global dex information for her. The page is actually quite extensive but the first paragraph is headlined as "Local Info."

Joltik can be found on rare occasions in the forests of the western coast in the Hoenn region. They can't generate their own electricity so they lazily ride larger pokemon, charging a pouch on their underbelly with static.

Move sets when young consist of typical spider variants, String shot, Spider Web, Leech Life, and with sufficient charge, Joltik are capable of using Thunder Wave. Their claws can inflict decent damage once they grow in size. Within a short time of training they can quickly learn to charge their webs with static, combining the effects for the move Electroweb.

As I absently pet Tesla, I spot her create a small static spark with her front legs and then rub them against her belly, I probably shouldn't pet there.

Scrolling into the nutrition recommendations, "Well little miss, let's go earn some money for food tonight."

The red bug gives another happy chirp, then crawls up my arm and onto my head, nestling into my black hair like a fuzzy red hat. This feeling is going to take some getting use to. On that note, it seems the majority of trainers also keep their starters or at least one pokemon out.

Maybe the dude with whatever that skunk pokemon is should reconsider. All of the other trainers are giving him a wide space.

I grab the herb pamphlet and head towards the south end of town...at some point I start to hum.

"I wanna be, the very best. Hmm just kidding haha."

It's been a damn good day so far.

Now, according to this map if I head South towards the cove and cut inland, I should find a marshy area where plenty of berries and such grow that can be used to make products at the mart. The spot earlier where I caught my bug seemed picked clean already.

It only takes ten minutes, and as I approach the cove I hear a man shout from the shore line, "Hey you there, care for a quick match while the line ain't getting a bite?"

He's in quite the cheerful mood as well. A few Magikarp are flopping around in the shallows next to him. I feel like I should have seen this coming.

Shouting back, "Sorry just running a quick errand, my girl will hang me if I take too long."

A bit of bullshit, I'm not gonna admit to every passerby that I'm flat broke and can't put up battle money. He just laughs and gives me a wave.

Following a small trail inland I do indeed come to a marshy spot, not far away I can see a pond. Just looking around I spot a small berry bush, they look exactly like cherries, the pamphlet calls them cheri berries… someone got real imaginative with names didn't they? I toss a few in a plastic bag and move on.

After about twenty odd minutes I come across a Wurmple munching on an apple looking berry. A leppa bush, they're worth more than the cheri this time of year.

"Alright Tesla, hop over there and chase Wurmple away!"

She seems excited for the fight and hops from my head wasting no time in shooting a thread at the bug twice her size.

The Wurmple ain't no one's bitch however. With angry, narrowed eyes it rolls to the side before shooting it's own string shot.

Having little experience in animal sport fighting, I can't give too much input as what unfolds before me can only be considered the most epic of silly string fights, some even landing on me.

Tesla looks at me concerned, the Wurmple takes the opening and launches forward in a tackle!

"Spider web Tesla!"

She reacts in time and snares the charging, pink asshole!

"All right, thunder wave that jerk!"

Small red sparks discharge as Tesla shoves out her front legs. The Wurmple clenches up like it's having a seizure. Honestly that looked more like a light tase than anything thunderous.

I glance around to make sure no one's watching before running up and punting it away into the woods.

"Alright! Great job Tess!"

She triumphantly chirps and with a hop, before nestling back onto my head. Do I feel bad? Nope. Not a single bit of guilt annoys my conscience as I look where the pink bug went sailing. I doubt I can kick harder than most pokemon tackle anyway.

I do however, quickly gather the berries and leave. He might have friends, and if I remember correctly they have poison in those stingers.

Another couple hours pass with only a few more Wurmples and a Zigzagoon. I didn't punt anymore, most ran off as soon as sparks started flying from Tesla. Once the sun seems like evening is coming I decide to call it a day.

On the way back, just at the entrance of the marsh I find a fuming, teen girl. Her hair is an utter mess and bits of twigs are all over her clothes.

She snaps at me, "Hey! Do you know why the Wurmple are so aggressive? Five of them just chased me like crazy! Whatever, if I don't blow off some steam with a battle I won't get any sleep tonight!"

This is probably my fault.

I shrug, "Sorry, I need to be getting back to my girlfriend."

She laughs, "Bragging now are we!? Lota come on out!"

A blue frog thing with a lilypad for a hat appears, a Lombre I think. This one already looks a tad beat up however.

"Really miss I was just grabbing some berries, I don't have any poke on me."

The teen looks at me and huffs, "Put them up then, I don't care! Here I'll even wager a Luxury ball that creep Winston tried to butter me up with!"

Say no more, "You're up Tesla!"

My Joltik hops down, the girl gapes, "No way a shiny! Oh, I'm Gina by the way! Lota, use bubble!"

Her kappa looking pokemon leans back and then lets loose a massive stream of bubbles.

The arachnid nimbly hops between each one but they pop with a noticeable force!

"Tesla, start laying out some webs and string, tie him up!"

She weaves into an angle with a clean shot and starts letting loose.

Gina doesn't slack off, "Fury swipes Lota!"

The Lombre accurately cuts away all the incoming thread before advancing, claws ready to slash down on Tesla!

Doing my best not to panic, "Fall back, web the ground!"

She smartly gets my plan and leaves patches of webs along the ground as she retreats, still dodging the remaining bubbles floating about the forest path.

The Lombre gets caught up with its feet, Gina yells, "Lota ya clutz! Cut free quick!"

"Tesla Thunder wave, and follow up with Leech Life!"

My red Joltik pounces onto the lilypad hat and gives a quick zap causing parallyzation, finally she chomps down with her fangs!

The Lombre slumps forward clearly drained and exhausted, he must have been weak to that move.

Gina curses, "Lota return...here! You know, I'm not sure that was a full Thunder Wave."

She tosses me a shiny black and red ball with gold trimmed lines, then turns and starts walking off, "Whatever, at least I'm rid of that eye sore."

I pick up Tesla and pet her adorable, red head, "Nice! Our first win Tess! Now let's head back before it gets dark."

While walking, I play with the ball, I don't think I want to do the whole "catch 'em all" thing. I already have a shiny, I'll make a badass team and wholly focus on training them!

In town I get a nice price for my large haul, the clerk does give me that "aren't you a bit old for this?" look.

Whatever dude, I feel like a kid again! As I head towards the pokemon center I once more start humming that old theme song while giving it a grunge rock kinda tone.

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