Sport is life

36 years old Yin Ling come back from the gymnasium to his little home. He remembers every young man and woman who he coached then signed: he judged that not a single one of the thousandths of youths that he helped really invested themselves in sport and not even the few pro that he encountered. The majority simply practiced sport like a hobby or a way to release their emotion while the other who seems to consider sports as something important for them spend more time in the social network than doing sport. A totally incomprehensible thing, especially for him who never even considered using social network.

His body really couldn't handle any physical activities thus he could only watch other play and practice. When he wasn't coaching, he was watching professional matches from nearly every sports, he did this same routine since 15 years now. He was really a sport freak, and with his time spending watching those matches his game knowledge was amazing. In an individual sport it could be considered pretty good but not outstanding for a 36 years old man, but if we consider his whole knowledge it really was scary. Rules, classic professional error, advanced tactic he understood and remembered all of them, and even thought about some new tactic: some badminton tactic that he modified to be used in volleyball for example.

He hoped that his body could one day be healed and then practice sport again, he did everything that he could thought of in order to be healed. He went to famous doctors, he did various IRM, couldn't even remember how many times he used a scanner; but the so-called treatments were all useless and every times he putted his articulation under strain it was painful and his body stopped without listening to him.

The more he understood that his body couldn't be healed the more he wanted to play and the more he was envious and jealous of those young fellow who could practice sport every day without any problem but choose to "waste" time on social network or watching TV aimlessly.

But surprisingly he never regretted spending too much time practicing sport when he was 19 years old which is more or less the reason why he is in the inability of doing any sport, not even once. It could seem stupid at first, but well, he just couldn't consider not doing what he likes, nearly what he lives for.

During those 16 years since he had his health problem, in his head it was a never-ending psychological suffering. Except the youths he coaches and his colleagues, he didn't really had any friend.

Today he finally lost his hope, he resigned himself that he couldn't play sport anymore. He never cried when his classmate bullied him, he did not cried when his father told him that his mother died giving him birth, he did not cried when he was 10 years old and his father told him that he would have preferred that he died instead of his mother and now he was crying, he felt like he was dying, he felt a pain in his hearth more intense than a knife stab. He closed his eyes and asked himself

Is living worth?

Should I simply stop here?

I do not know if God exist, if reincarnation exist, if it simply end after death. But I know that I want to do sports, and if dying give me some hope, then I am ready to gamble it!

Smiling Yin Ling said to himself:

Well If I lives for sport, isn't it natural that I die for sport?

He took his cocking knife, closed his eyes and was going to stab himself in the heart when he felt pain in his wrist and dropped the knife

I don't even have the strength to kill myself? Well I suppose that someone who failed his life wouldn't success his death, but still since when am I this pathetic? (Ref Bloqués for the few who would recognize)

He then took a chair, a rope, hang the rope to a beam of wood, stood on the chair, put the rope around his neck, kick the chair and killed himself.

Yin Ling before dying for once since a long time smiled and was full of hope.