I find this story hard to read. There are a bunch of spelling mistakes. You forget to add spaces and you basically make the character's super bland. I hope this helps in your writing. P.S. Stop adding emojis.
5 years ago
10
Assassins_Read
A ****ty self fullfillment story. Nothing seems real and it is too fast paced. Read it if you have time to spare, but I won't recommend it.
Thanks for Fan-Fic, your work is great, me and my friends were very excited waiting for the next chapter, don't let it fall..............................................................
5 years ago
3
White_Luck_1289
Dropped
2 years ago
2
bentobnu
Buddy you're letting this story get boring because 90% of the time they're having sex and no adventure nor emotion just sex you should just say '' we had a long night of love '' and make the story more interesting because it's going downhill
5 years ago
2
ProfessorNoob
More chapters please! More chapters please! More chapters please! More chapters please! More chapters please! More chapters please! More chapters please!
Isn't these too big of an harem.........🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔😓😓😓😪😪😪😪😪😪😪😪😪😪😪😪🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦
4 years ago
0
AntiWorldSystem
Man, i really dont like your novel.... Just dont give a shit about a damn plot.... MC present already altered the plot.... This is why i dont like some fanfiction novel.... Because some author who's doesn't want to change the plot Just for the sake of having more chapter and always give some shitty excuse about the consequance if MC Change the plot..... Huh, meh.... Just another brainless author....
Cliches and difficult to read because of poor placement and grammar. That's all my opinion in the first to second chapters.
Harem Harem Harem harem harem Harem Harem Harem harem harem Harem Harem Harem harem harem Harem Harem Harem harem harem Harem Harem Harem harem harem Harem Harem Harem harem harem
I find this story hard to read. There are a bunch of spelling mistakes. You forget to add spaces and you basically make the character's super bland. I hope this helps in your writing. P.S. Stop adding emojis.
A ****ty self fullfillment story. Nothing seems real and it is too fast paced. Read it if you have time to spare, but I won't recommend it.
😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍99192838382929292339328272747483921001938483920284829920203848392020293932092939201020848384737292846482923729273917302739282838828292928291819730273892028283883929383939339920200202101
Thanks for Fan-Fic, your work is great, me and my friends were very excited waiting for the next chapter, don't let it fall..............................................................
Dropped
Buddy you're letting this story get boring because 90% of the time they're having sex and no adventure nor emotion just sex you should just say '' we had a long night of love '' and make the story more interesting because it's going downhill
More chapters please! More chapters please! More chapters please! More chapters please! More chapters please! More chapters please! More chapters please!
MORE!!! MORE!!! MORE!!! MORE!!! MORE!!! MORE!!! MORE!!! MORE!!! MORE!!! MORE!!! MORE!!! MORE!!! MORE!!! MORE!!! MORE!!! MORE!!! MORE!!! MORE!!! MORE!!! MORE!!! MORE!!! MORE!!! MORE!!! MORE!!! MORE!!! MORE!!! MORE!!! MORE!!! MORE!!! MORE!!! DON'T DROP THIS
Isn't these too big of an harem.........🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔😓😓😓😪😪😪😪😪😪😪😪😪😪😪😪🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦
Man, i really dont like your novel.... Just dont give a shit about a damn plot.... MC present already altered the plot.... This is why i dont like some fanfiction novel.... Because some author who's doesn't want to change the plot Just for the sake of having more chapter and always give some shitty excuse about the consequance if MC Change the plot..... Huh, meh.... Just another brainless author....
Dropped? Oyfkhdyodujrskkyfitdkgdkgdyiditdkkgdjdjjtdjdtsutditdijgsjtsjtxxjtdjtdjtdjxktsjtsjtdxjcgckgxifdggxkxkgxkgxkgxgjxigxjxgxjxjccjgxkjtxkgxj
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😅🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥