Chapter 28 [Devil May Cry]

Pisces 13/2261 18:03

Pain raced through my entire body, but it wasn't enough to silence my mind. I held my side close with one hand. With my left leg, I kicked at the punching bag. The force made the fire inside me intensify. My white shirt was stained red with blood dripping off the thin fabric. Each drop hit the ground with an almost silent splatter.

I put the request in an hour ago, changed in my lab then came straight here. I let go of my side and threw some punches. I felt my shoulder wound split open again. Tears streamed down my face. That fact alone made me mad. I was the emotionless one. The cold-hearted child. Yet... I couldn't stop crying.

{Virus. Virus. Killer.}

'Shut up!' I screamed internally. I kicked the punching bag. My side split open, and blood poured from the wound. I heard it drip on the ground.

{They are machines. They don't have emotions.}

'Shut up! Shut up! I know, I remember what I said!' The memories hurt more than my actual wounds. I hit the bag again, throwing all my weight into each punch.

{The best killer. ShadowStorm.}

'I'm not her anymore. Please.' The voices were accompanied by my past kills. Human kills. Not Legion, but humans. I kicked the bag, stumbling as I did so.

{Killer. Virus. Everyone you love will die because of you!}

"Shut up!" I screamed. I hit the bag again. The chain holding it snapped and the bag went flying. I stared at the fallen punching bag. The voices vanished. My vision was tainted with black and white clouds. Blood streamed from my hands. I stared at my them, a numb feeling creeping through my body. All my knuckles were split open. Some of them were broken. I stared at my hands, watching as the bones corrected themselves and the skin close.

"Jadien!" A voice snapped. I ignored it. My eyes locked on my blood-stained hands. I felt my shoulder closing back up. My black hair fell in front of my eyes as I bowed my head.

'He won't care. He was just babysitting me because Jermia said so.' I thought. I bit my lip until I tasted blood. Footsteps ran up behind me. Strong, armoured hands grabbed my arms and pinned me to his chest. My head knocked off his chest plate. I tried to jerk away, but he was too strong.

"Jay, Stop." A soft voice said in my ear. I jerked again. Exhaustion flickered through me.

"Go away." I snapped. Instead of listening, his arms tightened around me. Then my legs gave out. If he hadn't been holding me so tight, I would have fallen. I stared at the ground. Pink drops fell off my face.

"Jadien. What are you doing!" Jermia snapped. I kept my face hidden behind my hair. "Medical bay, now!"

"No need." I choked out. I cleared my throat and tried again. "I don't need to go."

"Bullshit!" Jermia snapped. I held up my hand, showing him the sealing wounds. Jermia froze. I stared at him from under my hair. "How?"

"HCDS two," I answered. I got my feet under me.

"Two?" Jermia asked. He stepped forward. I tried to jerk away, but Ethan was still holding me. Jermia brushed my hair back. His eyes grew wide when he saw the bloody tears. "What did you do?"

"I'm hoping I signed my death warrant," I answered. Jermia's face fell. His eyes grew damp, his lips twisting into a pained scowl. "I made another serum."

"Why?" Jermia growled. I closed my eyes and turned my face away. "Why, Jadien!"

"Let me go!" I snapped at Ethan. Seeing him made everything hurt again. Ethan let my wrists go and stepped back. I could almost feel his fear. I looked back at Jermia.

"Why are you crying? You never cry." Jermia asked instead. I pulled my sleeve over my hand and wiped my face off. The trim turned pink.

"Good question. Maybe its the serum." I shrugged. I spun on my heel, ready to storm out. I saw Ethan again. "And go away! We're not partners anymore! Leave me alone!"

Ethan stiffened. I could feel his gaze through his visor. In his visor, I saw my shaking form. Scared. Weak. Damnit! I turned and rushed out. I escaped to my lab and locked the door. Vix was already sitting on her holo-pad.

"Agh!" I yelled. I grabbed a beaker and without thinking, flung it at the wall. It shattered into a million pieces. The automatic vacuum beeped on and zoomed out the clean the shards. "I can't do this!"

"Do what?" Vix asked. Her eyes locked on my bloodied shirt.

"I should never have let Jermia pair me with him." I pulled myself on the counter and opened the drawer by my legs. I brought out a roll of bandages.

"I saw you put in the request to change teams, and you want to go back to working alone," Vix said. I pulled my shirt off. I tossed it into the chemical waste bin. "You care about him."

"I don't." I snapped. Vix stared at me with sad eyes. I pulled at the bandages that wrapped my shoulder. They were soaked.

"You know something I've noticed about you?"

"What?" I asked. I wrapped my shoulder again, struggling to do it with one hand.

"You are so oblivious to emotions that anytime you feel emotional pain, you need to make it physical to understand it." Vix pointed out. I paused, shock flashing through my mind. I looked down at my blood-covered clothes. I never thought about it like that. Well, she isn't wrong. "You're used to this pain. You learned how to deal with this pain, but no one taught you to understand your emotions."

I finished wrapping my shoulder. I kept silent, avoiding looking at Vix. She was right. My mother and father died when I was young, and I was raised by an AI. All I knew was fighting and protecting what family I had. I unwrapped my side and peered at the wound.

"Vix has there been anything odd with the internal scanner." I changed the subject. Vix sighed before nodded. "What?"

"Other than the nasty wounds, your cells have been functioning faster than normal. They're also dying faster than average. Faster than they are dividing." Vix frowned at the ground. Her face blurred for a moment. "At the rate, they are dying, you have maybe a year left. Seven months before you are paralyzed."

"Oh, fun," I muttered. So it made the cell deterioration worse. I went from having five years to less than one. Once I finished wrapping my side, I jumped off the counter. I gathered the old bandages and dropped them with my old shirt. I walked to the cabinet by the door and grabbed a new shirt. I scanned the pile. All t-shirts. "Do I not have any long sleeves here?"

"There's a sweater in cabinet four," Vix said. I nodded and grabbed a shirt, pulling it on. I walked to cabinet four and found the dark green sweater there. I pulled it on, checking to make sure it hid my arms. "Jermia's here."

A second later, I heard a knock on the door. I pulled myself back on the counter and ignored it. I opened a screen and found the file for my internal scanner. I hated having it inside me, but it came into good use.

Knock, knock, knock. The banging continued. I heard the door slid open. I shot a dark look at Vix, who met my gaze with her own cold look. She had a warning look in her eyes. Sometimes I wonder who really adopted me, Vix or Nati.

"We need to talk," Jermia stated. I blinked at him. I forced my face to freeze. "You submitted a request?"

"I wasn't lying. Lily should approve it in an hour." I turned back to the screen. "Vix, set up an appointment at LMSP for me to speak with Dr. Gian."

"You want to speak to her?" Vix asked, the shock evident on her face. Jermia glanced at Vix in worry.

"Yes. Now, any updates on the hyper-elements?" I asked. Maybe I can fix this. There must be something.

"They've classified one, but I ran the simulation, it won't work with the Kilrium," Vix said. I nodded and closed the file.

"Jadien, talk to me. What is going on?" Jermia pleaded. "You were working well with Etha—"

"Working well?" I scoffed. I glared at him. I saw Ethan standing in the doorway, watching silently like always. I swallowed the pain in my throat. I forced myself to look at Jermia. "We nearly got each other killed and failed all the missions we went on. That is not working well."

"What did your sister say," Jermia asked. His tone was deadly.

{Virus.}

"Nothing I didn't already know," I answered. "I can't work with others, Jermia. You know this. My history with other's is clear. I get them hurt or killed. I'm done repeating that."

"You can't kill Ethan. Legends never die." Jermia repeated the old saying. {Legends never die, Jade. You're a legend too, unstoppable. If you want something, then fight for it. You'll win in the end. It might not be apparent at first. You might fail a few times, but in the end, you will succeed.} Jermia watched me. His expression knowing. "I know how you feel. But if you hide away because of it, you lose."

"I'm not hiding." I snapped. 'I'm not a coward!' I turned back to the screen and closed it. I stared at the wall for a moment. I turned and glanced at Ethan. "I'm sorry Jermia tried to pair us up. You didn't deserve this."

"I didn't pair you up." Jermia sighed. "I didn't choose him. He chose you."

My mind went blank. Jermia stared at me, expectantly.

{He chose you.} 'He chose me? No. No one wants me.' He's lying. I thought. I frowned, jerking my gaze to the white tile. Jermia has never once lied to me. I raised my gaze to Jermia. I opened my mouth, but no sound came out.

"I didn't tell you originally because I knew you wouldn't believe me. But now that you've worked together, now that you've both proven that you'll fight for each other, I'm hoping you will believe me." Jermia said. He dug a hand into his pocket. "You both risked your lives for each other on that mission. Now, I can't say what you're feeling for each other, but I'm hoping at the very least there is loyalty. Respect."

{Virus. Killer.} I looked at Ethan. Jermia brought his hand out. Something enclosed in his fist.

"Why?" I choked out. I cleared the lump in my throat and tried again. "Why? No one in their right mind would work with me. You saw what I did to Fexlain. You saw how I hurt him. Why would you want to work with me!"

{Killer. Virus. Killer!} I gritted my teeth. The voices in my head getting louder. Lily. Raven. They knew what I could do, and they didn't trust me because of it. No one should. I didn't even trust myself. My own hands, and small and delicate as they looked, could maim and take a life in seconds. I ran my hand through my hair and turned away.

"Get out," I whispered, pain pricking at my eyes. I heard Jermia give a loud sigh. Something was dropped on the counter. I kept my eyes on the ground, refusing to look at when he left.

"Take some time to think about it. I can get the request changed if you want." Jermia said. "I know for a fact, Ethan wants to be your partner. He trusts you."

"Yeah, well if he really trusted me, he wouldn't be hiding behind his armour all the damn time." I snapped. The words escaped my lips before I could think. I heard Ethan take a step back. I cursed myself for being so… me. "Just go away. Both of you."

I heard them hesitate. Then both sets of steps left. I waited until the door hissed shut before turning. I forced myself not to glance at Vix's disappointed face. Instead, I found myself looking at what was dropped. A file chip. Sitting on Vix's holo-pad. The AI glowed as she read the contents. Her eyes widened at me.

"Don't. I don't want to know." I warned. Vix opened her mouth, then closed it. Her shoulders slumped, and she stared at me helplessly. "Leave me alone, Vixen."

She closed her eyes and sighed, reminding me of Jermia. Her hologram flickered before vanishing. I was left alone in my lab. Even the vacuum zoomed back to its docking bay. I stared at the empty room. I wished I never agreed, never met Ethan. I only caused him pain. I pressed a hand to my mouth as a sob rose in my throat. I only hurt him. 'He tried to protect me, and I hurt him!' I fell to my knees, curling into a ball.

"I'm sorry." I gasped. My guilt tore at my insides. I wrapped an arm around my stomach as it twisted. "I'm sorry..."