Maybe I'm Broken

Sally-Anne tapped her pen to her lip, a habit she'd picked up from her mum. She knew something was going on. Harry was far more friendly with everyone than he'd been… ever, Hermione kept talking to herself, and that afternoon, she'd discovered a distinct absence of at least 50 students. Among those missing were Hermione, Harry, Luna, Neville, and Ginny, not to mention most of the rest of Gryffindor. Until she'd passed Ron talking with Professor McGonagall, she'd been making plans to interrogate him about it.

Can't seem to find Lavender either. Could always see if I can get something out of her. That girl can't keep her mouth shut to save her life.

As Sally-Anne approached the seventh floor, she spotted a group of students she'd believed missing, and made a note about it.

Seventh floor. Could be the Room.

Deciding it worth investigating (and feeling a little like Luna for thinking so), Sally-Anne smiled politely when one of the students said hello and continued on towards the Room of Requirement. Sure enough, she spotted more of the missing students coming from that area.

Alright, so they're definitely up to something in the Room of Requirement. If I'm too obvious, I'll give away that I know, so probably best to stay back for now.

Sally-Anne took a turn towards Gryffindor Tower, hoping she didn't seem too suspicious. After wandering aimlessly for a few minutes (but doing so as if she had a purpose — that was important so people didn't realize what she was doing), she started back towards the Room of Requirement. Sure enough, the crowd had dispersed, as if everyone were attempting to avoid drawing suspicion.

As she drew nearer, she ran into someone that surely had answers, but was in no mood to discuss them.

"Oh!" Sally-Anne gasped as Hermione pushed past her with a flash of red-brown hair. "Hermione?"

"Leave me alone!" Hermione screamed.

"That can't possibly be good," Sally-Anne muttered. "Hermione!"

Sally-Anne walked quickly to reach the end of the corridor and catch up with Hermione, but found she'd disappeared when she reached it.

"Of course," Sally-Anne muttered. "Why wouldn't she just disappear? It's Hermione. I'm sure Rose did the same thing, I just can't think of a time she did."

The sound of someone clearing his throat drew her attention. Sally-Anne turned to face Harry and Alavel.

"Harry, just the person with whom I wanted to speak," Sally-Anne said.

"I need to talk to you about Hermione," Harry said.

"Has it got something to do with why she just screamed at me?"

"It does. See—"

Alavel cleared his throat again and gave Harry a significant glance.

"Oh… right." Harry blushed and avoided eye contact. "I'm… I'm sorry about yelling at you."

Sally-Anne smiled at him.

Wow. I wasn't expecting that for another few weeks. Alavel must be a good influence on him.

"Apology accepted."

Harry shifted uncomfortably.

"There's… I think Hermione's losing it."

Sally-Anne motioned for them to follow her. "Why do you think that?"

"Well… it's… erm…"

"Is it something to do with why a large portion of the school was missing until a few minutes ago?"

Harry stumbled over his own feet, and Alavel let out a faint chuckle.

"I'm guessing it's some sort of club," Sally-Anne said. "But not something that the teachers will approve of, but also something Alavel, Cedric, and Angelina approve of, so it can't be too bad. But something you think I won't approve of. And Hermione must have organized it, otherwise Ron would be involved."

Sally-Anne basked for a moment in Harry's dumbfounded expression.

"I'm Sally-Anne Perks, of course I know. I know everything that goes on in school, and the fact that everyone's remained quiet about it is rather quite astounding."

Harry continued to stare at her.

"As much as I enjoy that face, I'd really appreciate you filling in the details. Especially if it's gotten bad enough that you had to come find me."

"Yeah… erm…" Harry began talking, at times too fast for Sally-Anne to keep up. He only stopped occasionally to itch his face. He explained about their club, horribly named "The Crimson Insurrection" (That's got "Hermione" written all over it.), and that they were just teaching students practical defence.

"Sounds harmless enough, but— Harry!"

Harry itched at his face.

"What?"

"What's happening to your face?"

"I don't know, it just sort of hurts."

Before Sally-Anne's eyes, something appeared on Harry's face. Every time he itched his skin, marks grew redder, more clear. When she looked closer, she saw distinct letters.

"'Snitch'," Sally-Anne read. "It says 'snitch'." Sally-Anne closed her eyes before she screamed. The only sound she allowed out was a low growl. "Hermione."

"She had everyone write their names on a sign-up sheet," Harry explained, wincing as he tried to keep his hands off his face. "She said it'd make it clear if someone tried to rat on us."

"I believe the exact word she used was 'snitch'," Alavel added.

"I can't stop itching," Harry said, gritting his teeth.

"You've got to," Sally-Anne said. "I think it's getting worse the more you do." She swatted his hand as it went for his face. "Let's take you to Madame Pomfrey. You can tell me about Hermione on the way, although I think I see the problem."

"This isn���t the worst of it," Alavel said.

By the time they reached Madame Pomfrey, Sally-Anne knew everything, including that afternoon's incident. Madame Pomfrey didn't bother asking about Harry; she whisked him away to one of the beds and forced him to take some potion. The moment he swallowed it, the words disappeared from his face.

"Not the first time I've seen this," she said. "It was probably those boys again… I'm glad they're graduating."

"Fred and George—"

"—Will be sorry when I'm through with them," Sally-Anne said, cutting off Harry. "Won't they, Mr. Alavel?"

"I appreciate your attempts to hide the true nature of the situation, La— Ms. Perks, but I regret that we've gone a bit past that." He turned to Madame Pomfrey. "Poppy, I'm afraid this was the result of Ms. Granger, not Fred and George Weasley. I'm only thankful that she didn't attempt to make her own spell for this."

As Harry listened, he kept itching his face. As he did, the word "snitch" reappeared.

"Unfortunately, I'm afraid she might have," Madame Pomfrey said. "Because that's new."

Alavel calmly turned to a portrait. "Would you be so kind as to fetch Professor Dumbledore?"

The man in the frame nodded and left his frame at a quick trot.

"I was going to talk to him anyway, so I suppose this saves some time. And I'm quite sure he'll have no problem fixing this."

The next morning, Brain snuck out of her room early to go to the Room of Requirement. After entering Rose's crafting room, she sat down on one of the tables.

"I'm fine," she muttered. "Fine. There's no need to worry. They certainly can't find me here."

She'd noticed people watching her the last evening. Not just students, but members of staff. The only conclusion was that Umbridge was moving faster than Brain had originally anticipated.

"It's fine. It's fine." She lit up her hand with a quick wave, and extinguished the light just as quickly. "Perfect control."

"Exactly," a girl with crimson hair said from another table. "Nothing to worry about."

"You almost hurt Moon," another girl with short bushy hair said. This one sat carefully on a chair rather than one of the tables. "And Toad."

"He can handle it," Brain said. "It's Neville."

"Toad," Rose corrected.

"Right, Toad. Of course. Thanks, Rose."

Rose beamed at her, then her eyes grew wide with excitement.

"You could probably use that! That thing you did! It's like black tentacles!"

"That was horrible!" Hermione snapped. "What if you can't control it?"

Brain paused and thought about that for a moment. What if she couldn't control it? What if Moon had gotten hurt? Or Skyeyes, or Cedric? Toad was fine, and probably deserved it, but Moon didn't. She was helpless, just like Hermione had been. But Brain wasn't; Brain was strong and powerful, like Rose. She wasn't afraid of anything.

"They'll be fine!" Rose exclaimed. "Just like you were, remember? I threw worse at you. I threw worse at all of them!"

Brain couldn't help but agree with Rose. Moon, Toad, and Skyeyes had all undergone worse than that spell with Rose. Toad especially, so of course he'd be fine. Brain was just doing her part to toughen them up. They'd thank her for it later.

"They'll thank me later," Brain said. "When they remember that we're at war, they'll thank me later."

"Are you at war?" Hermione asked. "Quirrell wasn't great, but he didn't need all this."

"Yes, he did!" Rose shot back. "You didn't notice because I handled it on my own. You weren't ready for it!"

"Just like the others," Brain said. "Like Ron. It was good that I broke it off with him, because—"

"Grahk d'ka!" Hermione shouted. "After everything he did, you just tossed him aside!"

"I didn't ask him to do anything!"

"How many times did you think about him while you were gone?" Hermione asked. "Because it felt like every day to me!"

"I… I… Shut up! It's better this way!"

"How exactly is this better? All your friends are either mad at you or scared of you."

"They don't have to like her," Rose said. "You didn't always like me, but I still kept you all safe. That's the point. They don't have to like her for her to protect them."

All Hermione could do was glare at Rose.

"Exactly," Brain said. "Without Rose, I'm all they've got. It was just like Rose said, no one else will."

"That's what you said before you rushed in to fight Death Eaters! What happened to learning your lesson?"

"These aren't Death Eaters, this is one mad jato. It's only a matter of time before she comes after me and my friends, and I've got to be ready! You saw the way everyone's looking at me! She's already started! If I don't prepare them, if I can't fight back, nothing's going to change! She'll just waltz right through and take them, just like Aurora did to the Exalted! If Rose hadn't been there, they'd have died!"

Brain listened to her words echo around the room, glaring all the while at Hermione. It was hard to believe that she'd been that just a few months ago. So weak, frail, naive and vulnerable. Just like her friends.

"I'm fine," Brain said. "Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to get to class."

She hopped off the table and left the Room of Requirement. She pushed past Sally-Anne on her way out, ducking around a shield before it could restrain her.

"You've got to talk to me some time!"

"Not gonna happen, Princess!"

A familiar scene had begun in Albus's office Sunday afternoon. Starting, as far as he could tell, with Cedric Diggory informing Septima that Hermione Granger was having problems on Wednesday, word had moved up the chain of command to Albus himself. Of course, he'd learned of everything earlier that week after Alavel had told him, but it helped that there were additional recollections. The proof of Harry's face had also been helpful, even if it had been relatively easy for Albus to fix.

As with every meeting in his office to discuss a student's future, he had his heads of house with him. Because it was Hermione Granger, Septima insisted on being present. Albus figured it was fair; she knew Hermione better than any other member of staff.

The sixth and final member of his staff was there as the resident expert on Rose Peta-Lorrum. Alavel stood to his right, in almost the exact same spot Rose had stood during the last staff meeting she'd attended, with almost the exact same expression on his face. Unlike Rose, however, Albus was certain Alavel wouldn't fall asleep.

"I blame Peta-Lorrum," Minerva snapped. She glanced at Alavel. "No offense."

"I agree that My Lady Rose was not always the best influence on Lady Brain," Alavel said. "Although until recently, I didn't think it a problem."

"What happened to her?" Filius asked. "She seemed fine the first few days she was back. Apart from ignoring her wand, of course. Could this be some abnormal side effect of her magic?"

"Her friend died," Pomona said with a sympathetic look. "That's bound to have an awful effect on anyone, especially someone who went through the trauma she did. Perhaps in her mind, she believes this all must be done."

"Lord Skyeyes, Lady Princess, Lord Toad, and I all believe she is attempting to become My Lady Rose."

"That would explain her hair," Severus said.

"It has been off," Minerva said. "I think it's turning red."

"I thought it was just the light she was in," Pomona said.

"That still doesn't explain her complexion," Severus muttered.

"What about Lady Brain's complexion?"

All eyes turned towards Severus, who'd seen Hermione no more than 15 minutes ago.

Severus glowered back at them, evidently less interested in sharing than he was a moment ago.

"She was more pale than normal."

"And I doubt she's aware of it," Alavel said. "We need to talk some sense into her before long."

"Are we sure that's possible?" Severus asked. "It never was with Peta-Lorrum."

"My Lady Rose could be sensible at times."

All heads turned to stare at Alavel with varying levels of incredulity.

"I never said there were many of them, but she had her moments."

"Hermione's far more sensible than that girl ever was," Septima snapped. "She's just having difficulty adjusting."

Albus raised an eyebrow for a moment.

"Septima, I understand your feelings for her," Albus said calmly, "but she endangered Ms. Lovegood's life, and over the past few days, none of us have seen any signs of remorse. If anything, she seems to have drawn inward."

"Along with repeated attempts by Lady Princess, many of us have tried talking to her," Alavel said. "Apart from Severus, who possesses specific knowledge she desires, none of us have been successful in that endeavor."

"Does anyone know why?" Pomona asked. "Why she's been like this?"

Albus smiled inwardly at the anticipated question.

"I only have a guess," Alavel said. "Unfortunately, as I said, no one's been able to talk to her, so I can't be sure."

"So spit it out," Septima snapped.

"Lady Brain believes herself and her friends to be under fire from the Ministry."

"They are," Minerva said. "If you hear what that b—"

"Minerva!" Albus snapped.

Minerva frowned, but continued with (relatively) kinder words. "That… woman… was saying about Peta-Lorrum and Potter. Sure, Peta-Lorrum was mad, but she outright called Potter a liar, as she does with anyone that stands with him." She turned her glare towards Alavel. "Well?"

"What?"

"Not going to defend Peta-Lorrum? No 'she was only pretending to be mad'?"

"My Lady Rose was mad."

Alavel's comment even caught Albus off guard. It was true, at least in some regard, but to hear Alavel say it seemed odd. Rose had built Alavel and Taltria with the loyalty of the most devoted of Hufflepuffs. Hearing him say anything remotely offensive about Rose herself could only be described as shocking.

"Finally someone admits it," Severus said.

"But by her world's standards, it wasn't as bad. De'rok is a world ravaged by constant war, forcing people to live in constant fear. Only the strongest survive, creating a hostile world. Add to that everything she's been through, all the tragedy that's befallen her, and it created a mad woman who tried to escape in the form of a child. That fear and madness drove her to become more powerful, giving her a sense of control over her world. I believe Lady Brain has confused the two: she believes that My Lady Rose's madness and strength were the same thing, but in fact, one caused the other. She is allowing herself to become carried away, likely under the belief that it will make her stronger to be exactly like My Lady Rose.��

Albus and his staff pondered Alavel's words for a time. He didn't want to say anything and interrupt, nor did he know what to say. An apology seemed appropriate, but Rose was no longer there to hear it. He'd always known she wasn't all there, but he'd never truly understood why.

"I for one feel a little worse about considering expelling Peta-Lorrum every year," Filius said. "Mad or not, I think both young… er… both of them could use our help."

"Even though it's too late for Ms. Peta-Lorrum," Pomona said, "I believe we still have time to help Ms. Granger. Alavel is there any way we can convince her?"

"She's not mad!" Septima snapped. "Peta-Lorrum was, but Hermione isn't!"

"Ignoring the problem will only make it worse," Albus and Alavel said.

Knowing Rose, that's probably not entirely a coincidence, Albus thought, knowing that Rose had crafted Alavel's personality herself.

"The matter stands," Albus said. "Hermione put another student in danger, and her mental state continues to deteriorate. If it is as Alavel has said, she's becoming like Rose, albeit a rather poor copy. I agree that this has something to do with her incidents last year. Having suffered through the Cruciatus Curse, she's felt a fear that few of us can hope to understand. With the one person that saved her from that gone, that fear has likely returned." He met Septima's gaze and addressed the indignation in it. "Fear can do all manner of horrible things to a person, make them believe something that no sound person would even consider. I believe Alavel is correct; Hermione is trying to become Rose, and has confused her madness and strength in doing so."

"Of course it's her fault," Septima grumbled. "She's never been anything but trouble to Hermione."

"That girl," Severus said, "as you put it, saved Granger from a troll."

Albus contained his surprise that it was Severus of all people defending Rose. He was pleased to hear it, but, unlike Pomona and Minerva, gave no reaction.

"So how do we change her mind?" Minerva asked. "It won't do any good to confront her head on."

Albus turned to the man with all the answers. He was a little glad that, for once, it wasn't himself. Rose was right about one thing: being the person with the plan was too much pressure.

"While Lady Brain likely won't listen to any of us, I believe I know a few who can make her listen."

Brain strode through the corridor, enjoying the quiet. When people talked, it was harder to hear Rose.

"They're so inconsiderate. Can't they just let a girl go mad in peace?"

"I know, right?" Rose replied, skipping through the corridor beside her. "But remember, deny everything. If people think you're actually mad, they won't be your friend. Wait, never mind, just don't give answers. Answer no one when they ask."

Brain rounded a corner and bumped straight into Toad.

"Toad," she said, moving around him.

To her frustration, he moved to block her.

"Do you really want to do this now?" she asked.

"Yes," another voice said, "we really do."

She turned and glared at Princess, who'd somehow managed to sneak up behind her.

"This wouldn't happen if you had blindsight," Rose said. "You should work on that."

"Leave me alone!"

"That's not an option anymore," Toad said. "You've gone too far."

"Please, we're just doing this for your own good."

"That's what Umbridge keeps saying!" Brain's eyes grew wide as she realized the truth. "She's gotten to you, hasn't she? She's turned you both!"

"Do you really think she convinced me that Rose was a liar?" Toad asked. "Me? I was in love with Rose for years."

"Then she's got something on you," Brain said, looking for the exits. If it came to it, she could easily distract them long enough to get away.

"So that's it?" Princess asked. "You're going to toss us aside too? Just like Ron? Like Luna?"

"I didn't toss anyone aside!"

"You've turned on people who used to be your friends," Toad said. "That's exactly what the Exalted did to Shadow!"

Brain saw Rose flinch, then Hermione joined them in the corridor. It wasn't true; she wasn't like them.

"I'm not like them, I'm like Rose!"

"Rose was there for Shadow when she needed someone," Toad said. "You've done the opposite!"

"We all need you now, Hermione," Princess said. "We don't need Rose, we need you!"

"Of course we need Rose! Who else is going to keep us safe?"

"How are you supposed to keep us safe if we're all afraid of you? If everyone's afraid of you, all they'll do is run away."

Hermione nodded her head, but Brain refused to give in.

"It's not my fault they're afraid!"

"Ha!" Rose exclaimed.

"So it's alright that you've gone mad?" Princess asked. "That doesn't matter to you at all?"

"Of course not! I'm like Rose!"

"You're like Rose," Toad said, "or you are Rose?"

Brain spun around to face him. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Hermione."

Brain turned back to Princess and found her holding a mirror.

"Look at yourself."

For the first time in weeks, Brain looked into a mirror. She didn't recognize the person staring back at her. The young woman in the mirror had brown-red hair and pale skin. Looking closer, she saw blue-green eyes.

Hermione held a gloved hand to her face and touched her skin.

"What?"

"Being like Rose doesn't make you strong," Neville said. "Hard work and practice makes you strong."

"We don't need Rose," Sally-Anne added. "All we need now is you. Not some half-mad girl trying to be something she's not."

Hermione felt a tear roll down her cheek, then looked to where Rose had been a second ago. There was no one; just the empty corridor with her, Neville, and Sally-Anne.

"But what about Umbridge?" she asked, turning back to her friends.

"If Umbridge is going to come for us, it won't be head on," Neville said.

"And anyone outside," a new voice said, "isn��t going to come for you."

Professor Dumbledore walked around the corner and joined them. Not far from him were Taltria, Alavel, Harry, and Luna.

"Brain," Luna said, a smile forming on her lips. "You're back."

The weight of what she'd done in the CI meeting hit her.

"Oh my God… Luna, I'm—"

Hermione tried to approach Luna, but Luna took a step back, moving behind Neville. Her smile never faltered, but her eyes changed. When Hermione looked into them, she saw something she'd seen that day, but, in her selfishness, had dismissed: fear.

Neville himself flexed the fingers on his left hand and crouched just a little, his gazed fixed on her.

"I…" She looked at the faces of her friends and teacher, more tears falling from her eyes. "I think there might be something wrong with me."

"Not to fret," Professor Dumbledore said. "We happen to have something here at Hogwarts just for such an occasion. Don't worry; I hear they've even fixed the wall from the time a basilisk broke in."

Hermione let out an involuntary laugh.

"I'm so sorry," she said, her voice catching. "All of you… it feels like a bad dream."

"There's no need to discuss it any further," Alavel said. "Right now, Lady Brain, you only need some rest."

"Agreed," Sally-Anne said. "Just some rest."

Hermione nodded absently, then caught a glimpse of crimson hair out of the corner of her eye.

"Sure. Just… don't call me 'Brain' for a little bit."

Guided by her friends, Hermione made her way down to the Hospital Wing, where a bed was waiting for her. For a moment, she thought of a time long ago when Rose had brought her to the Room of Requirement and made her rest. She looked back at Sally-Anne and smiled.

Maybe I'm not alone.