240. Afraid to Face her

Nicholas's POV

I don't know how many days passed or months for me to be being like this. I was living my life aimlessly. Before marriage nothing was mattered to me except of my family. But when she came into my life like a miracle everything got changed. I started to change and looked more closely to other things which was mattered to her.

But now she left me. Everything seemed uninteresting to me. Its just like I don't know how to live without her in my life. And after watching hatred in her eyes for me I can't come up with anyway to resolve everything in between us because I can't face her with so much hate in her eyes for me.

At one night I was getting myself drunk to my guts. I wanted to forget this empty feeling inside me through alcohol. Only alcohol can make me forget all my senses.

Someone ringed a bell. I was in the living room. No one comes here to meet me. They always come to the main house or to my office.

I ignored it and continued drinking. I was sat on the floor and leaned against the couch for support. Then I heard unlocking sound of the main door. I was drinking without a care . If someone wanted to rob me then so be it. I don't care.

I was still drinking without any care but then someone's shadow fall on me. I looked at the person who picked my high class lock without any difficulty and got shocked.

It was my grandma and mom. Both of them looking at me with angry faces. I know why they are here. They want me to come back to the main house.

I said -" Mom.....Grandma..... what are you doing here and at this late hour."

Mom looked angrier and said -" You are asking this to us Nicholas..... you don't know why are here ...for god's sake look at yourself..... you are destroying your life."

I laughed a dry laugh and said -" My life is already destroyed mom..... When she left me she took everything of me ....my heart my smile my everything."

I put my head on the couch and looked at the ceiling aimlessly. I was feeling miserable.

Mom said -" You....."

But grandma stopped her and came forward and sit besides me on the couch. She put my head on her laps and pat my head lightly. Its her way to console me without any comforting words. And its really effective.

I hugged her tightly and hide my face in her laps to hide my tears from them. I swallowed the lump inside my throat.

I said in a wavering voice -" I can't live without her grandma.... she becomes everything of me."

She was still patting my head and said -" Did you apologize to her."

" No.... I didn't because I am afraid to face her..... afraid to look hate in her eyes for me... She will never forgive me." I said.

She said -" You didn't realise but she already did Nicholas that's why she allowed you to go near her."

I felt somewhat light after hearing her like some burden lifted off from my heart. I looked at her hopefully with my red eyes.

I asked her -" Did she really forgive me."

She nodded while caressing my face. But my tiny hope again died down. I lowered my head and said -" But she will never forgive me after knowing the truth."

" Have you try apologizing to her." she asked.

I shook my head. I didn't. I was avoiding meeting her after that day. I don't know how to face her. I don't know how to explain my stupidity.

She hold my face in her soft and wrinkled hands and raised my face. She said while looking at me with calming face -" Then what are you waiting for..... Go and win back your woman..... my Nicholas is a fighter.... go and apologize and take her back and directly come to our home."

From her words I felt new determination in me. She's right. This is not me. Without trying I can't give in. I don't know what will she say but I have to apologize to her.

I looked at my grandma and hugged her tightly. I said -" Thank you so much grandma for making me realise."

She patted my back and said -" I am always there for my kids...now go."

I nodded and kissed her cheek. I stood up and went to my mom whose still looked angry. I hugged her and said -" I am sorry for everything mom."

She loosed and hugged me back and said -" I want you to be happy Nicholas.... now go and get back your woman."

I looked both of them. They both nodded with smiley face. I turned around and started running towards the elevator.

....I am coming Alexa....