Chapter 1 : who's Oussama

Morocco, a North African country bordering the Atlantic Ocean and Mediterranean Sea, is distinguished by its Berber, Arabian and European cultural influences. Marrakesh's medina, a mazelike medieval quarter, offers entertainment in its Djemaa el-Fna square and souks (marketplaces) selling ceramics, jewelry and metal lanterns. The capital Rabat's Kasbah of the Udayas is a 12th-century royal fort overlooking the water. And Fes is a northeastern Moroccan city often referred to as the country's cultural capital. It's primarily known for its Fes El Bali walled medina, with medieval Marinid architecture, vibrant souks and old-world atmosphere. The medina is home to religious schools such as the 14th-century Bou Inania and Al Attarine, both decorated with elaborate cedar carvings and ornate tile work. And here where it all began , Oussama is a simple boy who has 2 brothers Ilyass and Yassine and a divorced parents , Hasna his mother and abdeslam his father , he's 19 years old . he's known by his kindness and a lot of good things , he's popular , but few know the real him . In the age of 19 , Oussama had been in a lot of relationships , he was the bad one in all those relations , but deep inside all what he wanted was real love . One day he ended all this , and he began to search for real love , what is love ? , this question was in his head all the time , will i find my love someday ? , after all no one loved him except his family , Friends ? real friends ? , it was just a matter of time for him , all those fake friends being around him just because he know people . but he never gived importance to all this . you know why ? because he had a best friend , he had someone who can count on him and he believed in him , but it was a long time ago , when he was 7 he had a friend called samir . they studied together , time passes and their friendship grows , at the age of 8 they were best friends, but after 5 years , 7 years of friendship has gone , he's dead ...

he could never forget Samir his first bestfriend , but he accepted the fact that he's gone . This is Oussama a mysterious guy we can't know him that much , but i know that you are all questioning yourselves , is this a tragedy or a beautiful love story , well no one know , the story never ends . why people think that oussama is mysterious ? , people judge others more on actions words subtext and not less "auras" and like others here have said of course he doesn't seem a mystery to himself , he knows his worth and also if they say they believe he is a mystery it is because he doesn't talk much about his personal life or perhaps people find his emotions hard to read or they find he is not very expressive at all which we or i believe is not really a bad thing unless someone is truly curious about his life or how he feels ... . But the sad part is no one cares as they say or as he says . someday Oussama decided to write a letter to his dead best friend , and this is what he said : " I'm not sure how to explain how horrible my mental health has been lately. I'm not okay does not seem powerful enough. It doesn't get the point across.

Sad does not do my feelings justice. Neither does frustrated. Or lost. The pain is ongoing and unexplainable. I don't have the energy to search for a better phrase, to find some magical way to make others understand.

It's not like there is anyone to tell anyway. I keep picking up my phone, desperate to reach out to friends, but there is no one for me to text. There are people who will read my message and ignore me without bothering to type out a reply. There are other people who will go back-and-forth with me for a few minutes, saying generic things like I've been so busy lately and we should catch up soon. But there's no one who will lift my mood. No one who will stick around long enough for me to tell them the truth about what I have been going through recently. I feel like no one cares about me. No one wants to talk to me. No one wants to hang out with me. Every single day is a repeat of the last because there is nowhere for me to go, nothing for me to do.

The worst part is I can't even express that thought because the moment I mention how alone I feel, there are people who argue with me. People who claim they love me. But where are they right now? Where have they been the past few days, weeks, months? Where is the proof they care? I can't find any. I feel alone .

I am alone. and i miss you Samir ... . But I cannot surrender to this feeling. I cannot mope around the house while wearing yesterday's clothes. I have to stop myself from spiraling. I have to rescue myself. I have to be there for myself. I have to act as my own best friend.

I might feel like nobody cares but I can change that. I can start caring about myself. I can climb out from bed. I can brush my teeth. I can shower. I can face the day with my head high and back straight. Instead of making myself feel better with hard to believe cliches about how I am never actually alone and how there are plenty of people who love me, I am going to make myself feel better by saying screw them. I do not need them. They are not essential to my survival. They are not worth crying tears over. At least not for such a large stretch of time.

Maybe one day I will stumble across a group of people, or even just a single person, who makes me feel less alone. Maybe they will become my new home. My new place of peace.

But until that day arrives, I have to be okay walking through this world alone. I have to remember my relationship with myself matters more than my relationship with anybody else .'' . Well he was right You're not the center of the universe. In fact, no one really cares about you. It's harsh, but true. Sure, you have family and a few great friends. They will take particular interest in various parts of your life, helping you when needed. But they don't care about you nearly as much as you care about yourself. Ultimately, you're not top of mind to anyone but yourself. When properly understood, this is incredibly freeing and valuable. Personally i did a lot of mistakes but you know what i realised that No one cared. No one remembered my mistakes. Here and there, people would have faint memories, but they quickly faded. I was free: free to try hard, fail, learn, rinse, and repeat. In the end, no one cares and that's great. Find what makes you happy, work hard, and live fearlessly. If you screw up, no one cares. Neither should you. and this is how Oussama started to think he became stronger then ever , so now he's not searching for the love of his life but he's waiting for it . Oussama became an influencer , somehow , so here is what he said for you all : " Sometimes I feel lost and other times I feel as if I have conquered the world. At times the laughter is not in my control and other times the tears can't be held in my eyes.

When I am sad I wanna know how to overcome it but when my lips are busy laughing and screaming in happiness, then I don't find any problem with me. Why do I see sadness as a disease to be cured while happiness as a gift of life? Rather both are just emotions and part of life. Sometimes I try to find a solution so that I don't have to be sad. But with deep thinking I get to know without sadness the recipe of life is incomplete.

To give a taste to the recipe, I need to put all the emotions in the plate of life.

Sadness is a natural part of life as happiness is. As human I will have to taste every flavour of life whether I like it or not. And if anyone tries to escape from any flavour, he will not be rewarded with his favourite one happiness.

If sadness would not be good, then why I go to watch emotional movies. These movies don't give me any smile or laughter rather they make my eyes wet.

I like it because I enjoy being the part of character's sadness. It means I like being sad and wanna feel this emotion too. And so do you all.

I listen to songs which make me cry and I love to indulge into the emotions of the song. Does that mean I love crying? Absolutely I do. Because sometimes I need tears more than the flattering lips . The smile is being so overrated and people have become obsessed for getting this ingredient on their plate.

Sorry to say but even successful people are taking it wrongly. They are giving ways to become happy and how to fade away this sadness. Why is there any need of fading the sadness? , Just live it, cry and show your sorrow, take your time and accept the truth that sadness is as much part of the life as happiness is. If we have entered into the ring then we will have to play the moves we don't like. There is no escape from it. I don't wanna say be happy, I would like to say be the emotion of yours.

God has made me and wants me to be human so why sometimes I try to become the god. Why I try to conquer my feelings?

Do I wanna show off to the world with my smiling face or do I wanna take my perfect click. Why do I need the smiling face?

Because the whole world wants to see my shining teeth and not the salty water falling down my cheeks. I won't do injustice with myself just to comfort them. I know, happiness is a dominant emotion which always attracts us towards it and our primary focus of all doing is to get this. But is it right to let this emotion suppress others?

The energy put in suppressing the emotions bounce back with the equal reaction. The sorrow I try to escape from will come back and hurt me more. ( According to psychology suppressing our emotions consciously and deliberately in times when there is no trauma can lead to damaging effects on our mind and body. This is how the sadness bounces back ) . So if anyone confesses about his sorrow. Tell him it's not a problem its a phase to be lived.

The only difference now I see in happiness and sadness is. Happiness is practiced in front of world and sadness is being practiced in loneliness. It's same as failure hits you in public while success cherish you in private.

The world can't exist where everyone is in joy, there is no grief, everyone's mouth is busy in laughing.

I believe in God, if God has given me tears and sadness there may be a reason behind that. There are so many variations in our feelings then why to get stuck in only one.

However if I wanna fulfill my crave of happiness there are so many articles making my ways through it. There are so many people chasing it but, they aren't as happy as they show.

They do feel dejected at times and if they pretend as if they are always happy don't believe them. They are as humans as you and I am.

I am blessed to know this fact at this little age. Otherwise, I would have been naive like others and spend my whole life chasing something while missing others. My life is full of tragedies, tears, smiles, confusion, love, care, talk, silence, peace, chaos. And so much , With this changed mindset I have build love for every moment. There are swings in my feelings and I love to ride this roller coaster. I hope you all do too.

I am happy for getting tears too. Hmmm.. I don't need to be. If you want your life to be tasty then taste every emotion of life.

The only way to be the happiest person is not to suppress the emotion of yours.

Be sad when you feel so, cry when you need to, speak and let the words flow with your emotions, stay silent when you feel the need of, love yourself for the times you feel proud of being you, hate yourself for the times you are ashamed of your capabilities, let the chaos do its work.

Feel boredom, fear, hope, pleasure, love everything because we have been given only one life to experience everything.

Every emotion has its own importance and essence, we should learn to appreciate the creation of God as we are one of them. Happy life is a myth which everyone is expecting to get. Its a myth to only have smile and no tears so accepting the truth will make the tears easy to bear.

How many times you have heard and seen "best ways to be happy or how to be happy every single day etc etc." But no matter how much we try to be happy we can't escape from experiencing the grief.

Every person is preaching not to be sad. I do wanna know the reason. Is it bad to be sad or is it as shameful to human beings as showing our naked body as if we are showing our naked souls through these emotions.

Who wanna live that monotone life where there is only smile and no tears?? Do you? I don't want to.

Embrace your tears as much as you embrace your smiles. Appreciate pure and real feelings because they make us feel alive. '' . now i bet everyone knew something about Oussama , the story has just begun .