Going Away

The dream-catcher on my wall now smiles widely at me and I smile tentatively. It's good to receive surprises. The whole day was beautiful, magical even. I hope to have a beautiful dream today. It's already late and I'm worried about my friends. I went up to Trisha's room.

After a few minutes of knocking she opened her door, still sleepy. Riya was peeping from the bed trying to register who disturbed them.

"Oh, you were sleeping, go back. I won't disturb further." I said hastily.

Going back to my I dialled Avika's number.

"Where are you? Come back soon."

"Yeah, in by five minutes."

"You better do that."

When she came back safe and sound, I was relieved and slept peacefully.

I wanted to talk to her and share all the things happened. But I was dead tired.

Next morning was beautiful. I woke up and found my phone ringing.

It was my mom. Apparently yesterday, I didn't call her.

"Hello, mumma?"

"Still sleeping? Manya, wake up now."

"Why? What's the time now?" I asked.

"It's 11 a.m young lady. I know you have holidays but you have to be disciplined." She said.

"Okay." I stretched.

"Now share the pictures of yesterday. I know you enjoyed a lot. How was your drama?"

"The drama was great, we did great work. All the things were according to our script. Obviously, it was one of my favourite novel's play, it had to be grand." I said excitedly.

"You are having a good time right, be happy my baby. If you face any problems, tell me." She said.

"No, I don't have any problems now mumma. I'm well. Don't worry. What about you and home?"

"All the things are good, just this your sister has improved a little. It's Sunday so she was sleeping until I woke her up. Same like you."

"So it was her fault..."

We talked for an hour. Already noon now. Avika was still sleeping. What had happened to us, that we were sleeping like a pig.

I woke her up and went to wash up.

When I came back Avika said

"Your phone was continuously ringing!"

"Who was it?"

I was drying my hair. She said.

"Your Vihaan, who else?" She said smiling devilishly.

Really? Why did he call?

"So did you pick up?"

"Yes, why won't I. I tried to mimic you but he guessed straight away. So I told you were washing up."

Wow, he guessed it straight away. We do this a lot and most of the time people can't differentiate. It was because my and her voice was a lot similar.

I picked up and called him.

"Hey, you called?" I asked.

"Yeah, are you free? Will you come outside?" He asked.

"You are here? Wait I'll be there."

I rushed out. Perhaps, it might be something important. I didn't even look at how I looked right now.

I went out to find him standing, looking serious, disturbed by something. But more handsome, my heart skipped a beat. This is happening too often nowadays.

He saw me approaching. And my heart starts to beat so fast.

"Hey, what happened?" I asked when I neared him.

He took my wet hair in his hands.

"You will fall ill. I would wait anyway." He said, his voice soft.

"I wanted to tell you that I'm going away for a few days. I have an exam. It's in Delhi." He said.

"Oh." Was my reply. I don't know how my face looks right now.

"It was after the fest, but now...

My aunt, who is my sole family, has especially urged me to answer that entrance exam. So I have to go. I will be back by the finale. Don't worry and I'll call every day to check your updates."

"Wait...updates? For what?" I asked.

"Though Literary club would participate in debate and you were in that but I had to speak on pollution this year in the finale for awareness. And since we did the screenwriting thing, you are the best choice for replacing me. Everybody agreed."

"I...I can't do that, I have stage fright. I'll write it for you but I won't be able to speak."

"Face your fears Manya, it will be alright.  And as I said I'll check up on your progress every day. Don't worry it's just in your mind that you couldn't speak. You will be able to anything."

"Okay, I'll try. Yes, I joined the club for expelling my fear of public speaking."

"When do you have the exam?"

"It's the day after tomorrow, 20th. I'll be back by the afternoon of 21st."

It's 18th today.

"Okay, All the best. Do your best okay?" I said masking my emotions.

"Don't fall sick during this, and enjoy well." He said.

"When are you leaving?"

"Now."

"Bye then."

"Bye."

The words "take care" were on my lips. I could have walked beside him to send him off properly. But I felt rooted in the spot. I couldn't move and if I did I would have cried. I think he knew that's why he distracted me through the speech thing. Although we don't meet every day, now that he isn't here, makes it harder.

He gave a final wave and his silhouette disappeared. It actually hurts. I went back to my room and was glad Avika wasn't here.  I'm strong. Then why do I feel so weak? Why does it ache so much? I don't know. I'm not even entitled to feel these things, then why?

Just yesterday I was so happy. Of course, it is just a few days, but it feels greater than that. I admit I'll miss him. A lot.

I stuffed my ears with earphones. Sat on my table took out a book. That was my pose of 'not to disturb'. Only the songs could help me now.

And after numerous ones, one hit my heart so much that I actually started crying. It was a song by Taylor Swift, "Come back...be here"

The lyrics go by:

You said it in a simple way

4 AM, the second day

How strange that I don't know you at all

Stumbled through the long goodbye

One last kiss then catch your flight

Right when I was just about to fall

I told myself don't get attached

But in my mind I play it back

Spinning faster than the plane that took you

And this is when the feeling sinks in

I don't wanna miss you like this

Come back, be here

I guess you're in New York today

I don't wanna need you this way

Come back, be here

The delicate beginning rush

The feeling you can know so much

Without knowing anything at all

And now that I can put this down

If I had known what I'd known now

I never would have played so nonchalant

Taxi cabs and busy streets

That never bring you back to me

I can't help but wish you took me with you

This is falling in love in the cruellest way

This is falling for you & you are worlds away

New York, be here

But you're in London & I break down

'Cause it's not fair that you're not around

This is when the feeling sinks in

I don't wanna miss you like this

Come back, be here

I guess you're in New York today

And I don't wanna need you this way

Come back, be here

I don't wanna miss you like this

Come back, be here

***

Feeling empty inside I calmed down and wanted to sleep a bit. I have fallen. That I knew. But I don't know if I'm ready to be caught or fall hard.

Just when I was ready to sleep to get rid of these feelings I saw a message.

'Reached' by Vihaan.

'Work hard!' I replied.

I wonder if I can let go of the demons of the past? Can I be a normal girl again? Can I also experience first love? 

I wish I had someone to answer my questions.