My Honour, My Dawn

This couldn't have felt more right. We sitting side by side in the garden. Sunlight receding, beginning of twilight. As we sit together quietly taking in the beautiful sight, I can't help but think of the confession I made. And my cheeks flaring up. We were quiet because Vihaan kept rejecting some calls and now was texting only on my insistence.

He had asked what happened to me. I answered truthfully about, Sourav being a product of my previous school and the abrupt call of Shelly, my "best friend" from my previous school and the awful nightmare I had of him. Even while recounting all the things to him, I broke down. All the time he held me tightly. During the nightmare part, his arms tightened around me. After reiterating my tale I told him to answer the calls as I calmed down.

After he kept his phone down he looked at me with looks as if he has to say something.

"It's my turn to listen to you. Tell me." I told him.

"You know this has never happened to me. I denied so hard at first. This feeling. The way I spent each passing hour in Delhi in thoughts of you. How I convinced my heart, brain and soul to concentrate and study all day, otherwise I won't get the reward of talking to you at night. I knew I fell harder than I thought." He said embarrassed, his ears pink.

"I don't know, I think they don't do that nowadays right? I mean the books I read there were couples who just said words like " I like you" and they start dating and kinds of stuff but we two took the step forward already. But it doesn't change the way I think about you."

I was just sitting there blushing so hard. And I swear, I almost never blush. This was the very first time for me. Or so I remember. But my insecurities kept hovering over me. I asked him. Better to ask now, than after I've fallen deeper.

"Vihaan... Why do you like me? And why didn't you date others before? You already know what effect you have on women."

"What effect?"

"Oh you know, mesmerizing girls and women all around you, Prince Charming of the college!"

"Really? Do I have that effect on you?"

"What? Come on answer my question! I was first to ask."

He stared down in my eyes, not breaking the eye contact. His smouldering rich brown eyes boring into my dark ones. Making sure I was listening to his words, etching them to my heart and by this look, he made sure that I believe in them.

"I like your inquisitiveness, your curious big eyes wants to explore the world, but it's a threat to you as well. You really want to know everything but hesitate and avoid to become too involved in something. I like your smile, so rare in this world. And I'm glad you smile at me, for me, with me. I like your courage to stand up for others, to try and become friends with people even though you are an introvert. I like your arguments, so witty and well versed. I love your cooking, absolutely yummy and the poems, writings are so mature. I absolutely love them."

"And then comes you, you are a brilliant piece of creation. I mean just look at you. I wish I could explain in words. All in all, you are all guy's dream girl."

I was stunned. I never thought he would turn all my flaws into strengths. My annoying curiosity, the idiotic courage that erupts once in a while, my lack of mingling with others etc.

"You are good with words, of course, who am I kidding! You are Literary Club President, obviously, you will be good at! But seriously Mr President you aren't doing this because of a bet right?"

"God, No Manya, how could you think like that of me? Oh I know maybe that's because of some stupid web-series and novels right?"

"Okay sorry! Just can't believe it. It's a dream come true for me. Although I resisted so much. To stay away, I kept rushing back to you. You don't know how I felt waiting those days without you, without knowing your feelings, without knowing if I should do this. If it's okay to feel this way if it's okay to miss you, not only as a friend but something else, in a deeper level. You cared about me, observed me, like no one else."

"Well, I can say the same to you."

"Manya, meaning the one worthy of honour. You are my honour, my Manya."

My cheeks would be a deeper shade of bright pink now. He is so good at making me feel blessed.

"Vihaan means the first ray of sunlight, you are that first ray of sunlight that brightens my dark heart. My dawn from the darkness. What an appropriate name."

I could literally see him coming into dark monochromatic monotonous mundane life of mine. Extending a hand to lift me up while me sitting in a corner with my knees brought together. Bringing in happiness, love, care into my personal space, hell for me, making me fall in love myself first and slowly and gently breaking down the futile walls which have gotten tough roots in. While colouring the important parts, polishing my talents and shaping up my virtues.

"Seems true, but not most of them know the meaning of my name. Somebody made researches isn't it?"

"Okay, I did so what?"

"It makes me happier that's what."

"How cheesy! How are you so capable of these things?"

He chuckled softly.

"Let's get up. I'm so hungry."

Now that he said, I'm starved. I haven't had anything since morning. And and and see the awkwardness when I realised I wasn't wearing my shoes or any footwear!

"Let's head to my room first," I said glancing at my feet. He understood and nodded. But I saw him trying to fight back his laugh.

"I don't want to go to the cafeteria." I whined.

"Then let's go somewhere else." He smiled mysteriously.

"Go ahead and then wait here." He said when we reached and rushed off somewhere.

I went in to see my face, eyelids were swollen and I looked horrible. If I didn't prepare for worst I would have screamed. I took time taking my sight in. Chapped lips, red eyes and dishevelled hair. It looks like I went through a breakup, not confession. How could he tolerate me looking like this and saying all those sweet words?

I applied some makeup that makes me look less horrendous than this. And my favourite orange lip balm. I look presentable at least.

The clothes were still okay. I grabbed my sling bag and wore my sneakers to complete the look.

Finally, I was ready, I can't seem to shake off the smile on my face no matter what. And when I stood out waiting for him he came riding on a motorcycle.

Took out a spare helmet for me and said

"Ready?"

My heart started to whack furiously and the rush of adrenaline thrilled me. I know it's normal for couples to roam around in bike but the first time is always special.

"Yes." And I sat beside him.