Layers of Nightmare (on hold until I finish the semester)

I'm giving myself a less than 4 because I feel like I already fail at making a proper suspense for a horror genre and late update. That aside, personally, I'm pretty confident with my writing, I can assure you that there will be minimum stylistic or formatting mistake. I am writing with Bloodborne (game), Gate of Revelation and possibly some Lovecraft's lore as my main idea, so definitely give it a go if you are up for the thrill (instead of horror) and if you like any of those. I may not be as good as ash_knight in terms of suspense nor am I as good as Wiz in terms of creativity. But I do believe that I'm writing honestly.

Hi, so I just found you story due to the post you made on the forum and decided to give it a go. please note that I tend to give long reviews so I'll do the tl;dr on the bottom if you wanna skip to it First and fore most, I would like to congratulate you. I think you might be the first book I've read on here that I actually wanted to read more on. I'm not really one for the whole system/ceo/game genre so this is the first that I've read that isn't like that (yet maybe). Things I liked: There is alot of things that are unique about this book. First off, the character designs/world designs. I adore how you played with your writing. This being how you wrote in the 'game' notifications as well as having the z̸alg͞ó ҉t̨exts in there. It's the first time I saw it in a book and man did I wish I thought of it myself. I also adore the monster designs and how you described the whole start up and even the building was very descriptive. I'll admit, I thought of silent hill while reading those chapters. Now in terms of things you should look into improving One main thing is that there was many times when I was broken from immersion, which I find is something you don't want to do with your book. Details like how weirdly specific the weight/height of items are or irl references to even mid-text a/n notes will break your reader's immersion. You can change these by either giving justifications for these details or changing it to be less descriptive. And if you want to talk to your readers, do it in the comments and/or the actual author's notes. Next, I find that alot of the story felt like "tell not show". Alot of the time it felt like we were just being told what's happening, like the character did x then went over and did y. Which is funny because at times you do have very descriptive writing! Don't be afraid to add more imagery to things. Go into how William is feeling at the time or what the atmosphere felt like due to the lighting of the room and what did /that/ feel like. Tl;dr your story is unique in terms of how you play with your typing and how you describe aspects of it (like world design/monster design). You need to work on maintaining immersion and "showing not telling" in your writing. I generally enjoyed reading this so far so I might stick around a bit, see how it goes. Sorry for the text wall by the way. I wish you luck in your endeavors and keep up with your writing.

pretty similar to house of horrors with a more of a "fight back" type of story being mixed in. Nice amount of mystery and so far our MC seems pretty good as well. Still pretty early but so far the books got a great start

Its a bit soon to tell how good the whole novel is because only the opening scene just ended. However, I enjoyed the start! The action starts quick and it creates excitement quickly! I just hope that there will be more development into the characters as the story goes along, but good start for now!

I discovered this novel b/c of the author's thread on the forums, but this review is in no way a part of any review swap-- I read the premise of the novel, which sounded intriguing, so I chose to start reading. (I was also in the mood for horror/thriller, haha.) was pleasantly surprised by this novel, and the fact that I actually enjoyed reading. but, since this is not a review swap, it also means that I'm completely honest with my review, so there's no sugar-coating or anything! below are a bunch of my thoughts & constructive criticism. :D [writing quality] 3 stars. is it okay for webnovel standards? definitely. but still, since these are my unfiltered thoughts, I personally think that some editing would help a lot, especially with small things like tenses that could be caught. overall though, it's readable, which is definitely much better than a lot of novels on this platform. so, 3 stars, pretty average. I did notice that one other reviewer noted that the author should try more showing and not telling, but I do think that telling is very important too, especially in action-y stories. this is because if everything was just "shown", then the novel would feel very wordy and the pacing would get dragged down. sometimes, you need a lot of telling just to keep the novel exciting. now, this is not to say that you should have 100% telling not showing, or that you should have 100% showing, not telling. it's really a delicate balance that depends on what sort of writing the scene calls for. so, basically, don't be afraid to tell, but don't forget to show a lot too! [stability of updates] 5 stars. seems awesome. author clearly has a schedule and sticks to it! [story development] 5 stars. so far. it's still early on (only 8 chapters) so it's a little hard to tell exactly where the story is heading, but it has a lot of potential! I like a lot of things the author chose to do with the plot, and in particular, the sort of clever integration of the system and the day/night concept. in fact, the reason why I started reading was because I was interested in the premise. for some reason, the sort of horror/thriller of escaping apartment complexes/survival in a city really appeals to me (such as the webtoon sweet home, distant sky, or all those other korean apocalyptic survival sort of novels/webtoons. they're really good, and I kind of have the same vibe with this story) again, this rating is bound to change in the future depending on what the author chooses to do with the plot. but so far, the beginning is really good to catch the reader's attention & absorb them into the novel. it's paced very well, and the action is very exciting. [character design] 3 stars. hmm maybe it's because it's early on, but i don't think I have a good grasp on the characters yet-- which is perfectly normal! I can't wait to learn more about all the characters as the story progresses. that's why I rated it 3 stars b/c I'm still unsure. so far, we have william, the MC, who seems to be a uni student. he's pretty smart & can use his brains when the situation calls for it. this is definitely a trait I like. he's not a dislikeable character, so from the start, readers can support him. I also like the fact that he doesn't win all of his battles from the start-- the non-OP-ness is very refreshing. we also have a few side characters introduced, like the MC's roomate, a professor, his daughter, etc. (for some reason, I'm kind of against the idea of felicia as a love interest haha. I hope that there's no romance on the start; really hope that if there is some, it comes later on so we can focus on the action and all that fun stuff right now! but of course, if no romance is planned, then I'm just overthinking but I'm getting these subtle signals lmao) another thing I would like to note is that the author has this tendency to say the ethnicity of the character as description, like "caucasian", "southeast asian", and etc. this is an example of where showing, not telling would be a good idea! felt a little immersion breaking, but it's not that big of a deal. the monsters are pretty freaky though. the vivid descriptions are awesome! [world background] 3 stars. again, gave an average rating b/c it's still too early to say that the world is amazing. but the ideas presented all seem really interesting-- just the thought of a world with zero light is very very spooky. [OVERALL RATING] 3.8 stars. it's pretty good at chapter 8; hope the novel keeps improving!! <3 I've added this to my library & I hope that it doesn't disappoint.

This is a great story, amazing description, good grammar, and a well done setting. The only issue I have is that there can be too much of the good stuff. Like I said before great description but it does take up too much time and words.

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Great. Amazing. One of my favorites. Idk how to do this I just know to keep writing so yayayayayayayayay ayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayaya