Fearlessly Striving

The touch of his Empress's hand was still burning his wrist. Jian Li felt tears pour down his cheeks, creating paths and leaving the taste of salt in their wake. His eyes never once wavered from his Empress' beautiful form.

His Empress frowned at him. "Calm down."

Watching her trying to comfort him was enough to make his heartbeat speed up in his chest. It thundered loudly in his ears, high enough to drown out the sound of guards behind them whispering. Normally, Jian Li would have them whipped for their insolence, but all of his attention was focused on his Empress. He had no space for anything but her in his head.

Their daughter leaned out to get a grip of his sleeves again, and Jian Li obediently held out his arm to her. She scrunched up her face in adorable frustration when she couldn't get a hold of it — the wind was blowing the heavy fabric from side to side.

Jian Li held in the strange urge to coo at her.

"Good." his Empress nodded decisively. "You are no longer upset."

The satisfied look that she gave him made butterflies burst into life in his stomach. He could spend the rest of his entire life just making her happy. As long as she was smiling and pleased, there was nothing he wouldn't do for her.

Jian Li felt himself beam at her in response. Her worry for him was more than he could ever ask of her and he needed her to know this. She deserved the world and the moon and the stars. The very sun itself should bow down before her! Jian Li's tears were drying on his cheeks as he reveled in her happiness — she was alive! — and his heart stuttered in his chest.

Time ticked on by as they sat together in the garden. Jian Li couldn't make himself move even as his back hurt from sitting so straight and the stone bench was uncomfortable underneath him. He kept on staring as his daughter made adorable face after adorable face, as his wife doted on her and made her laugh. The pressure in his chest didn't let up exactly, but it was easier to breathe past it when they were within arm's length.

He could happily spend the rest of his life here.

His lips curved up into a smile as his heart squeezed. He felt as if he was in danger of floating away from his sheer exhilaration.

Jian Li watched on with glittering eyes as his daughter laughed in delight and his wife fed the baby food brought over by the servants. It was disgusting looking mushy food, but the girl seemed to adore it, eagerly eating every spoonful.

His heart squeezed together in his chest sharply but oddly enough, it didn't hurt.

Empress Lan waved a toy in front of their daughter's face when the girl was done eating and grimaced at the mess of food on her face. Jian Li was spellbound as his Empress wiped their daughter's face with a white rag and then gave it to a servant. Once she was done, Empress Lan helped Yun stand on her lap and Jian Li was treated to the sight of his Empress smiling in happiness.

She was breathtaking.

Jian Li's eyes swept over her entire form, from the top of her hair to the tip of her barely visible toes. Her dazzling eyes looked up at him and she frowned in obvious displeasure. Jian Li sat as close to her as he could, scooting forwards until their thighs touched. His heart pounded in his chest at this motion and his eyes watered.

She scooted away from him and Jian Li didn't follow. He didn't want to make her uncomfortable and he had always known that she didn't like excessive touching. Their daughter was obviously an exception, but Jian Li wasn't there yet. He had to start small, or he would just scare her away.

That was... he couldn't scare her away. He had once, or maybe he drove her away but — she didn't deserve it. He had to calm down and act rationally, but it was so hard when all he could see in his mind was her cold, dead body.

Just the thought of it made him tear up again.

Mesmerized by her mere existence, Jian Li watched with wide eyes as his wife stood up and carried their daughter away. For a moment, he couldn't move — all he saw was her walking away from him. Then he shook his head and stood to follow, throwing his doubt away.

"Imperial Princess Yi, it's time for lunch." the impudent, annoying servant girl stepped in front of him and announced.

Jian Li scowled harshly and snapped, "Out of the way."

The servant girl didn't move. "Imperial Princess Yi, you know you have to take your medicine with food. Come along now, don't be difficult."

She wanted to die, right? That was the only possible explanation for her stupid actions. Jian Li huffed as he watched his Empress disappear into her palace with their daughter. She... wouldn't want to eat with him, right? He was the Emperor and her husband, but he had acted like a child throwing a tantrum with her. And after avoiding her like that, after pushing her away in favor of a new concubine, she... couldn't be happy with him.

She didn't even want to sit next to him — Jian Li didn't know what he would do if he pushed her away again.

He put his nose up in the air and huffed. "Fine," he growled at the servant girl. "lead me then, if you dare."

She smiled brightly at him, not acting like a servant at all, and Jian Li rolled his eyes at her in secret. He had perfected the action, as an Emperor couldn't roll their eyes in public. It wasn't dignified.

She threw off his misgivings and stalked off to what was apparently his palace. Well, he was the Emperor. He owned all of the palaces.

The servant girl took a few seconds to realize he had started walking before she started running to catch up with him and lead the way. Jian Li's lips quirked into a facsimile of a smile as he watched her bounce ahead of him, trying to look as distinguished as a servant of the Emperor's household should.

He followed along at an even, if slightly rushed, pace. They entered his new palace and swept through it to a dining hall. Jian Li sat down with dignity, staring with a harsh glare at his annoying servant who stayed next to him.

Barely a moment later, servants entered with the food. They bowed out of the room respectfully while he ate and he deigned to grace them with a single look before his attention was diverted to the food itself. His servant girl brought out of bottle filled with murky liquid and mixed it in with his soup.

"What do you think you're doing?"

She jumped in shock. "This is medicine."

He gave it a doubtful glance. "It looks disgusting."

"You've been taking it for months." the girl insisted and poured in some more of it.

"Then it's not helping, is it."

The girl didn't answer and Jian Li turned away from her. He picked up the chopsticks and got started on the rice, feeling it slide down his throat easily. He found that he was far more hungry than he had guessed and when he thought about it, he couldn't remember the last time that he ate. He frowned to himself as he kept eating, eventually deciding to eat the soup only because he was so hungry — it suddenly felt as if he was starving.

The servant girl stood back and watched him intensively as he ate. He let her be only because he didn't have the time to spare on her. All his efforts should be on figuring out ways to get closer to his wife and court her again.

Considering the fact that they were already married, courting her again was perhaps not needed, but she deserved it. His last time courting her, he had made a lot of promises — promises that he broke without hesitation. He wasn't going to let their marriage be tainted by those things anymore, and he fully intended to keep his promises this time around.

If he didn't, lightning should strike him right where he stood!

"Imperial Princess Yi, do you desire more food?"

Jian Li threw his attention back to the current situation. If he wanted to court his Empress right this time, preparations needed to be made!

"No more food." he ordered and continued with, "Get me brush and paper. I have plans to make."

She nodded gravely and left to another part of the room. There, she rung a bell and then started tearing through the shelves until she found what he had asked of her. While she did this, servants entered the dining hall and cleaned out the dishes and table within a few short minutes. At least they were efficient, even if they were oddly pushy.

When he got the paper, Jian Li unrolled it and smoothed it out. He picked up the brush and the servant girl hurried to make the ink.

Step one of his plans to woo his beloved Empress; get her used to his presence again. Not to the point where she tired of him, but to the point where she could tolerate him. As it stood, she ran away whenever they were in the same place for more than a few minutes.

He nodded to himself in satisfaction. With this, he could win his Empress's heart!