New Day

I didnt sleep well last night, and coming to class was the last thing on my mind. Jessie's suicide attempt was still so fresh in my mind. I laid wide awake all night worrying about if he had gone home and finished what he sat out to do at the creek.

I gazed out the window thinking about what I said to him. Was it enough? Oh god, what if I said too much, or the wrong things. Should I go back and get the gun and hide it? So many questions, concerns and endings ran rampant in my mind. My hands became clammy and sweat beads formed on my fore head. When I dropped him off at his house, he seemed fine, he even thanked me again, and shyly smiled before shutting the door and walking away. I dug my hands into my hair on both sides of my head closing my eyes and growling with frustration.

The opening of the door broke my insanity ,relief escaped my body. Jessie clumsily made his way to his desk with his head up and a sheepish smile on his face. For some odd reason seeing him with what little confidence he gained , and that stupid smile on his face, made my face flush and my ears burn. Sitting down at his desk he turned around to say something to me. All I could do was keep my head down. He tilted his head sideways to get a better view of my face.

"You okay Parker?"

" Just fine" I stammered " I ran here from the parking lot, so I'm a bit flustered is all." I lied through my teeth.

Jessie blinked confused at my answer but didnt press me further. As class began we all focused on the formulas the professor wrote on the white board.

What's gotten into me, I asked my self paying the lecture no mind. I shouldn't br having these episodes around Jessie. Not understanding what I was feeling , I tried my hardest to focus on school. Not that it was working ...