Oh I died

Jonah was your average 16-year-old boy that had one abnormal thing about him, he gave no fucks. He had black colored hair that went down his small nose, medium-sized lips and dark silvery eyes. He was outlandish, loud and gave no visible fuck about others.

"JONAH"

" FUCK, WHAT DO YOU WANT BITCH." Jonah replied angrily.

"GET YO HISPANIC LITTLE ASS UP FROM THAT BED BEFORE I COME UP THERE AND SHOVE MY FOOT UP YO ASS."

" 'Oh fuck' Alright, I'll be down there in a minute or two." Jonah quickly replied.

"Damn right you will."

Jonah brushed his teeth then hastily put on a pair of white Air Forces, black jeans and a white polo shirt. Then walked downstairs to eat breakfast.

" Mom made pancakes."

"Blueberry or chocolate, jack?" Jonah asked curiously.

"Blueberry." Jack excitedly replied.

*poses dramatically* "Yosh, let me get 4 pancakes with a side of thank you very much mother." Jonah replied happily.

"Boy I ain't getting you shit, you got two hands and two legs use them." Jonah's mother replied sternly.

"You're no fun." Jonah replies while grabbing the stack of pancakes from the counter.

"Bro, you gonna get diabetes and die if you keep eating like that." Jack replies while pointing at the stack of pancakes with a hint of sarcasm and envy.

"Boy, I wouldn't be talking. If you was skinny as me *points at stomach* World hunger wouldn't be a thing." Jonah replies sarcastically.

*uncontrollable wheezing laughter* "Son... Don't make fun of your brother like that." *dramatically wipes tear away from cheek*

Jack blushes from embarrassment then whines for his mother's attention. "Mom! Jonah is making fun of me!"

Jonah's mother scolds the father and son duo. "José don't laugh at your son, Jonah stop making fun of your brother."

Jonah's father nervously replies. "Y-yes Dearest."

Jack sticks out his tongue at Jonah while Fake laughing at the same time.

Jonah rolls his eyes while giving jack the finger.

*BEEP BEEP*

"Bus is here, bye Mom!" *Kisses her cheek* "Bye Dad!" *waves at him*

Jonah's mother yells. "Your backpack!"

"Thanks!" Jonah shouts.

The school bus was a place of wonders, you had the jocks, the nerds, the cheerleaders, the kids that always wear black. And the Class clowns, Jonah's group.

"What's up my Garden worker?"

"Nothing much, what about you, EJ?" Jonah asked without hiding the laziness in his voice.

"The usual, unless you count being invited to Alondra's party!" EJ poses dramatically while holding an invitation letter.

Jonah's eyes flutter. "W-wait what?"

"Yeah, you heard me!" EJ replies proudly.

"The Alondra, richest girl in the whole school?" Jonah steadily replying.

"The one and only brother!" EJ says excitedly.

"Wait doesn't she hate you cause you poured milk on her?" Jonah asked doubtfully.

EJ's cheeks turn purple then immediately replies. "I-it was an a-accident I swear!"

Jonah raises his eyebrows. "Alright if you say it was an accident it was an accident but don't come running to me cause Norman's gonna beat you up again for attempting to apologize to her."

EJ gulps his saliva. "Do you think she forgot?..."

"Don't know, by the way... How did you get that invite?" Jonah replies.

"I got ways." EJ proudly states.

As the bus gets toward the school Jonah See's his school crush Raven... Sitting on the benches in front of the school.

"See you in 3rd period!" EJ yells.

"Yeah!" Jonah yells back.

While Jonah heads to art class he is yelled at by a large boy that could be easily mistaken for a pig.

"Oi, Rodriguez!"

"For fuck's sake leave me the hell alone you dick sucking Hitler wannabe." Jonah irritatingly replied.

"Why you little! $#&@$&@€¥"

"Mr. Heathcock that is enough! 2 hours detention!"

"Bu-"

"No But's!"

Jonah recognizing his savior's voice immediately attempted to escape the situation but sadly failed.

"Mr. Rodriguez where do you think you're going~"

Jonah felt as if a cold wave washed over him as he was called in that manner. "T-To Art class, Mrs. Pakerson"

"Ah, I see.." Mrs. Pakerson replied while twirling her hair looking up and down at her student as if she was a hungry carnivore looking at prey. "Carry on."

"Ok, bye!" Jonah runs as fast as he could, as he felt violated just by being stared from her.

"Finally..." Jonah says while gasping for air.

"Alright today instead of making random stuff that I think is a good enough grade to give out I want you all to draw your dreams, anything, keep in mind I want it to be school appropriate. So if your hopes are to be an adult film actor or actress or pole dancers choose something else but for the love of God if you so choose to work at Hooters and I see you there then I failed as a teacher, wait I didn't fail, your parents did."

'What should I make... I always wanted to be a teacher, then again I wanted to make music. Bingo, I'll be a music teacher, yeah I'll draw that.' Jonah thought.

*Serious drawing music*

"Oh, that looks nice!"

Jonah turned his head left and was startled. 'Oh my God, it's Raven, ok... Jonah act calm, act calm.'

"Jonah?.. Jonah?... Is there something wrong?.." Raven asked.

"U-uh nothing is w-wrong!" Jonah nervously said almost shouting.

"Hmm really?.." Raven put her hand on Jonah's forehead. "You're a bit to warm."

Jonah's thoughts. 'Jonah, for the first time Raven is touching you, be calm think happy thoughts, think happy thoughts..'

"Hmmm, Mr. Smith?"

"Yes, Raven?" Mr. Smith asked.

"Can I take Jonah to the nurse his forehead is really warm." Raven asked hopefully.

"Yeah sure let me just write a pass." Mr. Smith replied.

'OH GOD NO, NOOOO,' while Jonah was mentally screaming afraid of Mrs. Pakerson he had yet to notice that Raven was blushing as well. "W-wait I don't need to go to the nurse, I'm just a bit light-headed, yeah light-headed." Jonah replied hoping they would believe his lie.

"Alright if you say so." Mr. Smith replied.

Jonah let out a sigh of relief.

Raven found his antics cute and blushed a bit more.

As the day passed by hour by hour school had finally ended. The students went to their clubs others went home our protagonist attempted to go home but was stopped by a heavy yet smooth small hand on his shoulder.

"There you are Mr. Rodriguez, I was looking for you~" Mrs. Pakerson told the last words quietly, sadly it was heard by Jonah.

"U-uh Mrs. Pakerson I really have to get home my mom need's me, so bye!" Jonah yelled the last few words before sprinting towards the gate.

"Wait no!" As Jonah left Mrs. Pakerson thought of ways to seduce Jonah. 'Jonah one day you will be mine and mine alone no matter how many years it'll take I'll stop anyone that attempts to break our love!'

Jonah opens the door "I'm Home!" It was dark to dark. the light in the living room flicking on and off repeatedly as if something gruesome had occurred. 'We really need to get that light bulb changed, looks like a shitty horror movie set.'

Jonah heads towards his room to find his door half open. "Oi, Goliath you big fluffy fleabag of a mutt get the fuck out of my room!" Jonah yelled as his dog was sleeping on his bed.

*Sad doggo sounds*

'Ah I feel so sticky, need to take a shower' Jonah takes off his clothes and takes a steamy shower for 15 minutes.

"Hey Yubi, play When you get the goods playlist on fireworks, play Why III love the moon by Phony ppl." Jonah asked while drying himself.

"Ok playing When you get the goods, Why III love the moon by phony ppl." came a robotic voice from a small box near the TV labeled YUBI.

*Bitch, you better praise God or I'ma shoot, and that's on God

I ain't playin' 'bout my Lord and Savior, I'm on my job

If you ain't a Christian, I'ma stab you in the face

If it ain't Jesus I'mma shoot you with this k*(Yes this Jonah's ringtone)

Jonah picks up his cell phone and answers it. "Ya hello"

"Ay, Jonah the party is at 7 you coming?.." EJ voice we through.

"Yeah" Jonah replied.

"Alright we going with my cousin Vasco." EJ replied.

"Vasco?" Jonah asked not attempting to hide the uncertainty in his voice.

"Yeah Vasco, big dude, tattoo on the side of his head, kinda look like Mike Tyson, always talking about his baby mama not letting him see his kid's." EJ Replied.

"Wow.. that's... descriptive." Jonah replied.

"Shut up you field worker!" EJ shouted.

"Hey your forgetting something." Jonah replied.

"What?" EJ asked confused.

"Your ancestors started out like that, mine didn't." Jonah replied sarcastically.

"Bruh." EJ laughed.

"Alright, I gotta get ready bye." Jonah hung up the phone.

"Time to get beautiful"

*2 minutes later, Sponge Bob Voice*

Jonah was wearing White skinny jeans, a black t-shirt that had white paint splattered on it and finally LeBron's 15 equality gold letters that said equality in the back while the rest is full black.

'Welp time to wait' Jonah thought to himself.

'let's play some flappy bird'

"Is that him"

"Yeah..." EJ replied.

Jonah was Currently trying to beat his score on flappy bird. "FUCK, WHY CAN'T YOU'RE LITTLE ASS GO THROUGH A FUCKING PIPE YOU FAT LITTLE SHIT!"

"Hey, tard get in the car." EJ shouted at Jonah.

"Huh, oh ok" Jonah replied.

*20 Mins later*

"So... this her house?"

"Yeah." Jonah replied.

"Damn.. how rich you say?"

"Super." EJ replied.

*Ay, shit heads, show the invite card if not fuck off.*

EJ was startled "U-uh ok!"

*Beep, Alright come in.*

"Woah..." they all said at the same time admiring the beauty of the estate.

"So... Now what?"

"You go in." Jonah replied.

*Bell chime* "Oh hi Jonah" "Hi" Jonah replied waving at her. "Oh, it's you.." Alondra snarked at EJ "H-hi.." EJ tried to speak but was cut off. "shut it" "And you are?.." she asked the Mike Tyson wannabe "Vasco" he replied "Ok come in" Alondra replied smiling.

"Uh.." Vasco pointed at the men in black suits.

"Don't mind the security, Daddy wants me to be safe."

"Woah..." The three said out loud.

"Ok you can do whatever you want, just don't break anything OK." Alondra sternly said.

"Yes, ma'am." they all said in Union.

They all split to different locations, Vasco going to the bar, EJ going to some girls, Jonah going to the library.

"Huh, what language is this?.. Is this Latin?... No can't be it has symbols like Chinese.. Mabey Japanese." Jonah opens the book.

*Glass breaks*

Hours passed like minutes. Minute's passed by like hour's as if time had stopped.

*SFX Space noises* "OH SHIT!!!" *POP*

"So.. That's it?."

"Yeah, what were you expecting?" Jonah replied.

"I don't know... A reason to why you're in my dimension?"

"Now thinking about it I really don't know..." Jonah attempted to scratch his head only to forget he has no hands at the moment.

"So..."

"Yeah..."

"Um..."

*Bing*

" Huh, I have good news and bad news."

"Tell me the bad news first." Jonah replied.

" The Observer or "God" of Your universe accidentally kicked you out of your universe..."

"Wait what?!?" Jonah shouted.

"Ok time for good news, yey!"

"Oh my God, I didn't even finish watching one piece, I only needed to watch 20 more episodes FUCK!!! I haven't even lost my virginity yet! I have yet to ask Raven to be my girlfriend!" Jonah yelled in the void.

"Good news is you get powers and entertain me!"

"Wait what?.."

"But I'll tell you your powers in the next chapter!"

"Wait what do you mean next chapter?!?"