August, a swordsmith from 1861, gets transported to 2034 and meets his 5x great-grandson, Kyle. But strange things start to happen around him and to him. Will they ever find out what's happening?
yh I think you should work on your description and writing skill, I find it very hard to understand what's going on
2 years ago
0
hayden_widjaja
Umm, I feel like you need to make the characters have some issues and describe stuff and explain stuff, the world background is good but the design like descriptions aren't really great, a tip is to try to describe important characters, if not important, try at least give some descriptions of minor characters like: A man with a suit appeared.
Like it give minimal description to give the reader a bit of way to undersand, I hope you will improve with me as well, do not give up :)))
yh I think you should work on your description and writing skill, I find it very hard to understand what's going on
Umm, I feel like you need to make the characters have some issues and describe stuff and explain stuff, the world background is good but the design like descriptions aren't really great, a tip is to try to describe important characters, if not important, try at least give some descriptions of minor characters like: A man with a suit appeared. Like it give minimal description to give the reader a bit of way to undersand, I hope you will improve with me as well, do not give up :)))