Let’s Become Shut-In’s!

As soon came to a close and winter break rolled around, I became determined to become a better person. Although I wasn't sure where to start yet, I knew the first part of it was going "away".

I wanted to take a break from the rest of the world.

Most days were spent locked inside my room, as I wondered about what had gone so wrong about this year that managed to shake my entire world. All the things I had believed once seemed to have changed into lies. Why lies you ask?

Maybe because I relied too much on my ideal version of reality.

That was also when my mom advised me to apply for a writing program. I knew I wanted to apply, I also knew that if I failed to get accepted, I'd only have less confidence in myself.

"Just think of it as a bonus," my mom suggested. "If you get in, great! You have some skills in writing. If you don't, well you said you're not expecting to get in anyways, and you can work on it more in the future."

Deciding to take my mom's advice, I spent weeks on my comfy blue chair, staring at the computer screen.

The original plan was to write a story about a boy who had been dragged into a game of "chess". Each chess piece was controlled by another person, and if the piece was eliminated, so would the person who controlled it. The only problem was that there was a eight page limit and this story sounded more like something from a developed novel. After trying several different ways to shape it, I soon found that squeezing in fantasy/magic elements into a eight paged story (not to mention double-spaced) was extremely difficult. Not to mention emotional impact along with those elements.

A week later, I stumbled across a song.

A song that sang of a doll whose creator made her out of his loneliness. The doll wished to be free and love the creator, the "God" of this world, but the God could not give her the special love she wanted. Nevertheless, she loved him earnestly, promising to do so until the day her gears stopped turning.

And so, before I could even figure out what I was doing, I began frantically writing.

Writing the story of a doll who watched a boy grow. Until his mother grew ill and he didn't have the medicine to help her. This eventually led to him selling her and through a chain of events, her "death" in a fireplace.

"...she could finally...cry."

Yes...only by being in a fireplace and feeling the melting of her fake eyes could the doll finally find relief after years of silently watching.

Many friends said it was dark. Many said it made them feel sad. But everyone agreed that it was a good story. Personally, I thought so too, and had no hesitation when it came to submitting this piece for the program application. After all, it was the best piece of work I had written.

*****

Besides that, there was one more notable thing that happened over winter break.

Binge watching anime until three in the morning.

Just to distract myself.

Because another storm was just beginning to brew.