I never had love. The only love I knew is for my parents. I never had crushes.
NEVER.
Until today.
I am a good kid who follow my parents' will but because there is a prize. As someone says: "If you're good at something, never do it for free."
The first time I had a crush was in Fifth Grade, her name's Charlotte, but we didn't really captivate
each other. I DID categorize her as one of the Flirties and for years to come, she did became one. Charlotte was my first crush. EVER.
The next months I focused on school tasks and assignments given to us, but time came when I asked that question to Sakura "Why..." That was the time I realise there is an ongoing spark in her. A spark that would eventually explode.
Let me give you some description, so you can imagine what Sakura look like.
First of all, she's cute. Her face is round and very Japanese, with small eyes and a small lip. She wears optical glass all the time as she is nearsighted. Her body is like a squeezed bottle, big at top and narrowing down through the hips then widen again. Her skin is as white as milk. She has a big rack on her and the biggest I've seen during that time, it's very soft and natural as it bounces while she walks.
That's her, imagine her like that. Or imagine a Japanese actress similar to that description, then you're good to go.
On our one-on-one conversation, she told me that 'she didn't answer because I was there.' That's bizarre! I thought at first when i got home from school. I was on my bed thinking "Why me?"
All of a sudden she had a crush on me and she was very secretive about that. It may have been a rebound or she just wanted someone to cope because she broke up with Vin. More importantly, 'what would Vin say if he saw us together?'
It was the weekends. My friends and I in Don Mario Eusebio Subdivision where I live, will go to the park 3 blocks away from there to play stuffs and see beautiful sights and breath green clean air. As we are walking a block away from the park. There is another Subdivision where people of Middle Class society lives. They saw a woman in the store, so hot, the guys turn their head from the road to her.
"Man. Look at that!" Sam said.
Jim followed. "Oh boy."
Ray eventually said "I'm gonna touch myself tonight."
We all laugh. Insanely.
To clarify, we are all circumcised and they are all older to me by two or three years.
We continued walking slowly because these guys I'm with just can't stop looking at the girl.
The girl then turn facing us; I saw that familiar face.
WAIT.
WAIT.
That's...
"SAKURA?" I said loudly.
Sakura might have heard it or just saw me on the other side of the road as she loudly said:
"Kon'nichiwa Ben!"
My friends turned to me, their faces look like they've see ghosts.
"You Know HER?" Ray asked me
I smirked to my friends then I look to Sakura and said "Hi! How are you?"
She smiled to me.
"Guys, you can go to the park. I'll follow." I told them boys.
Jim said "Sure. Just make sure you follow, Ok?"
"I know what you're thinking, bro.' I told Jim, then he smiled. 'But yeah, Don't worry, I'll follow."
"C'mon guys' Jim told the others 'We leave them be."
Based on Jim's narrative to me:
After Jim told that to the guys, they walked slowly straight to the road. Jim noticed that one of them is missing. "Wait. Where's Ray?" Jim asked the guys.
They look back.
They saw Ray staring both to us.
"Goddammit Ray' Jim shouted 'Stop that staring, man!"
"Yeah. Leave the two lovebirds, eh." Sam followed.
Ray slowly walked towards the guys but didn't stop staring, not until Jim grabbed him by the arms.
"Man, you shouldn't did that." Jim told Ray.
"Yeah.' Sam followed Jim "That's Ben's business. Make your own."
Ray wasn't himself after that, Jim told me. Something changed him; that's how Jim described it. That's what Jim told me, at least. As he said those, he told me that "You shouldn't be bothered. Me and Sam got your back." I trust Jim and Sam, as they were the first of buds I knew in our Subdivision when we first moved there.
Back to my perspective:
As Jim told the guys what I told him, I hurriedly cross the other side of the road to meet Sakura. I didn't knew anything what's happening at the other side right now. My concern was how would I speak to to Sakura in a way that's not misleading or may point to something that she would expect from me.
"Hey!' I greeted her happily smiling. 'How's your weekend?"
"It's nice.' She answered "Full of chores and stuffs to do." "Oh." I said.
"How about you, Ben?"
"Me?...Well...I've been playing with my friends. We are going to the park, actually."
"Really?' She said "That's nice."
"Yeah. It's really nice when me and the guys join together on something."
Sakura suddenly noticed Ray staring at us. "Hey, Ben?"
"Yeah?"
"Is that normal for him?" She pointed at Ray
"Oh jeez!' I said. 'Let's go find someplace else."
I grabbed Sakura's left hand and we strolled to the Subdivision just to make sure that Ray won't see us further.
I didn't know what happened then as Me and Sakura continued to walk down to the straight road of the subdivision to the middle park of the Subdivision.
While we were walking she asked me "How long have you've been friends?"
"The guys?" I asked her.
"No. Vin."
"Ah! Since Fourth Grade, I think."
"I see. He doesn't mention you, though."
"Really?' I told her in shock. 'Wow. Typical Vin."
"But, nevertheless, he's your friend right?" Sakura asked me.
"Yeah, a friend once will always be a friend."
"I see." Then she smiled.
"How about you, Sakura?" I asked
"What about me?"
"I mean, hobbies, stuffs that...you know, description of who you are." I told her.
"Oh-Well...I came from Japan. My Dads the Japanese, My Mom is a Filipino. We originally live in Osaka but after my Dad died a year ago, me and my Mom decided to go here, in the Philippines."
"So that's why I see more Japanese in you." I told her.
"How do you say?" She asked out of curiosity.
"Well, I based it in your looks." I said.
"Oh. Yah!" She answered.
She may have been thinking it was because of her...ehem...rack.
BUT NO! I wasn't thinking about that. I noticed her eyes grew wider when she asked that out of curiosity so It may have been that.
Anyway, we arrive at the gazebo that is flowered around with red and white tulips. The inside of the gazebo have little lanterns in its four corners that lights up at night electrically. The gazebo is painted in pure white with tints of black at each corners inside to emphasize the lanterns. It feels like a romantic scenery at night, but in this time at morning, it's a typical getaway for people who just loves to go out in the sun, like us.
As we both sit in the gazebo, she immediately asked me a question I thought she won't ask:
"Ben...um...have you...' she stopped. Bite her lips then continued 'Have you had...any girlfriends...before?"
"Nah" I answered fast and straight.
"Oh" She replied. There was a silence after that. I can literally hear the wind rustling through the leaves of nearby trees.
To break the silence I ask her this question: "Do you want to come to the park?"
"Uh...no...I have to go home before Ten. Gomen'nasai."
"...It's okay. By the way what does...uh...gomen-say means?"
"Oh...it's Gomen-na-sai--with an I at the end. It means 'sorry'." She said
"Ah...It's nice to know these Japanese words...I'm learning--even a little." said with a little giggle.
"Hai! You want me to teach you Nihonjin?" She asked me
"Nihon...oh Japanese?" I replied
"Yeah..."
"Sure...I like that idea." I told her with amazement.
She smiled to me and then suddenly a shout was heard for a distance.
"Uh-oh. Its my Mom" Sakura said to me. "I gotta go. Bye Ben."
She ran towards the street where the sound comes from.
'Sure. Bye, Sakura!' I replied. 'See you on Monday."
She gaze up on me smiling "Yes! We will!"
I smiled while she was leaving me to go home. I waited several more minutes before I got up from the gazebo and walk straight to the exit of the Subdivision on the opposite side where we entered earlier.
I saw my friends at the distance waiting for me while looking at the road where cars pass by. I am happy after that. I've never felt so happy before except where my dad bought me my PS3, of course. I was happy that I met her there and talked to her personally. It was wonderful and it's just great. It was like heaven meets earth or the opposite.
I stopped by the pedestrian crossing waiting for the WALK marker to go green. My friends saw me and waved at me and Sam shouted: "We thought we won't be seeing you again!" then, they laughed.
I smiled and waved my right hand as a sign of appreciation to them.
The WALK marker goes green, 3 cars stopped at the red light. I walk slowly towards the other side of the road. In exactly 12 seconds, I've crossed the road and as I was going inside the park the green light for cars go lit and drove fast.
Jim went to meet me. Ray and Sam was at the swing at the time.
"Hey bro-how'd it go?" Jim asked me.
"It's great. Thanks for waiting."
"No problem, Ben. You're our friend. That's what friends do." Jim said smiling to me. "Sam's waiting at the swing with Ray."
"Whaaat! You started without ME!" I shouted to the both of them.
They all laughed.
We enjoyed the whole morning together. Strolling the big park together with some kids with their parents. Some guys and girls jogging and training. Dogs doing their things and an artificial pond full of goldfish.
We spent most of our day there then went back straight to our Subdivision riding a tricycle because we are tired of playing and chasing someone's dog at the park. During our time at the park, I totally forgot about Sakura. But when I got home, I remembered that I was happy because I was with sakura even for just a little bit of time given.
I thought for a second if I could come pick up Sakura at their house and bring her to the park. Just the two of us together. That could work.
We got home, dinner time. My mom Cooked some delicious pasta carbonara or 'spaghetti in white sauce' and grilled beef covered in mustard sauce and dipped in mayonnaise. It was a delicious dinner with my Mom. Dad wasn't there. He would be late because of the working schedule they have. The only time we eat together at dinner is usually Sundays but sometimes Mondays would also be preferable.
As I was eating the pasta drooling with all the thick white sauce, I remembered that I forgot to asked Sakura her phone number, if ever she have.
What an idiot! I thought. Why didn't I! So Stupid of me.
I was almost done eating the pasta and going to start with the grilled beef. I ask my Mom:
"Ma, Is it love if you feel happy with someone?"
"Why?' My mom asked 'Are you in love?"
"No. I don't think so yet."
"So who's the girl?" She blatantly asked me. What a typical mother, isn't she?
"Do you really need to know?" I asked again
"Yeah. Of course, I'm your Mom. I need to know."
"There's no girl, Ma! I'm just asking if it's love when you feel happy with someone." I insisted.
'Well' She answered. "No. You love someone of you feel a deep chemistry or spark within you; but, if you're just happy to be with someone, it's just...um, what's it called? Admiration?" She said to me thinking for that word "Oh yeah...Its infatuation, honey."