Chapter 12

Pieces of Junji's memories are starting to fill my head like a puzzle. There is still something missing and something that does not fill the gaps. I need to know what really happened to her. Maybe this will be the way for me to come back to my body. My real body. Since I saw some flashes of memories about Xhanya despising Junji, I cannot attempt and it disgusts me to even talk to her or see her face. Why is he still acting that kind and friendly knowing that she is the one who tried to kill her friend? Does she not have any conscience left in her body? I wanted to confront her and tell her everything I know but... now is not the time. The way I looked at Xhanya, is not how I looked at her before I do not even know anything. I just feel unsafe with her near me so I always wanted Jiji by my side.

I was walking slowly near a lake to catch some fresh air after having and experiencing too many headaches and pain. As I look at the orange skies reflecting on the clear water on the lake, I felt an ache in my heart. I was starting to long for Mom and Dad. How I wish I could see them soon and tell them how I love them both. Behind me was Jiji walking and accompanying me here outside. I looked once again at the skies and let go a sigh.

"Is everything alright Princess?" she said. I turn my head and look at her face, it seems that she is genuinely worried about me. I realize how Xhanya looked when she asks me the same question before. Something was really off about her and I am sensing that there is something that is not right.

I nod in response and then smiled slightly. "The view here in the lake was just breathtaking." I lied. That was really not the reason I sighed but what would I even tell her? That I miss my mom and dad from the other world? Maybe she'll think I am crazy or... she'll definitely think I am one. If I am not careful of my words, I know that they will send me to a mental hospital or something and treat my so-called disease.

"It is really wonderful." She replied while still walking more slowly than my pace. She did not want to walk beside me because that is not what a servant should do. I know she wanted to be friendly but she may be punished if she tried to be super friendly to a princess.

I stopped and just feel the breeze. It is cold yet it warms my aching heart. I feel like the wind is comforting me and telling me everything will be fine. As I close my eyes and breath deeply, warm water came flooding down on my face, I opened my eyes and touched my cheeks realizing that I am crying at the thought of missing my loved ones.

"How I wish I was with them now." I heard my voice crack. I tried not to sound like that and even tried to stop my emotions and tears but to no avail. I cannot stop it, it was like a river flowing down my eyes. I kept on wiping my eyes but they just keep coming and so I started to cry so hard like a child that it made Jiji worry.

"Princess, you are not fine are you?" I knew she wanted to comfort me but all she can do was rub my back to tell me it will be alright. I looked at her and saw that she really wanted to ask what is bothering me but just chose not to, knowing that she has no right to ask.

I cannot hold back my emotions. I just missed my life. I should not be doing these kinds of stuff like marrying. I should just be at school eager to learn, making friends, and loving my parents but here I am, I could not even see Junji's mom and dad. It is like they only call and long for me whenever it is convenient for them, like for the wedding explanations. Speaking of that, there are only 4 days until I get married but it does not seem like I will be getting married since I haven't done much, even Yuho. Mom and Mother-in-law are the ones who are hands-on with that kind of thing since they realized that I still need to clear my mind and just prepare myself mentally.

I pulled myself together and wipe my tears. I have cried enough that my eyes are now puffed. The sky now turned purple and the moon showed up. I was sitting here beside the tree near the lake. The lake is so vast surrounded by trees and bushes all around, it is like a garden with some rock paths all the way leading to the red wooden bridge that connects it to the other side. I stood up and dust off my sky blue dress with some pattern of flowers embroidered in it. It is a puffy dress that is long it touches the ground. I found Jiji on the side of the tree having a great nap. I walked near her and crouched at her level and tap her shoulders to wake her up and not surprise her but failed. She opened her eyes and quickly got up blinking her eyes several times to see clearer.

"I apologize, princess, I didn't mean to sleep.."

I hush and tap her shoulder once more as she was bowing her head and felt like it was a sin to sleep while watching over me and she should be punished.

"Shh... It's alright, it's alright calm down." I looked at her eyes as it gets teary but she tried to hold back her tears.

"It's okay." I smiled to relieve her worries and gestured to her that we should go back since it is getting dark, and mosquitos are all around. She released a deep sigh as she followed me and walk behind me. This palace is huge. My room was separate from the Palace. It is like some residence house, there are a lot of I think houses all around inside a huge wooden gate. There are separate chambers for the King, Queen, princess which is me, and other persons with which I am not yet familiar. While walking back, I saw Xhanya going inside my room holding a plate of different kinds of food for my dinner. My stomach began to grumble and make a huge sound. I looked at Jiji and it is as if she is trying to hold her laugh.

"You must already be hungry Princess" She giggled.

"Yes. I got hungry from all the walking and crying."

As we got near my chamber, I saw guards guarding my place, as soon as they saw me, they bowed their heads to greet me and I smiled at them in return. I walk inside and there is this small hallway with all the old-fashioned windows and doors that are leading to my room. Several servants are outside the door, gathering in the hallway and Jiji line up with them. Xhanya is there too. She is the first person near the sliding door.

"Princess, you can now go inside, I will just be here if you need help." Jiji said in a soft voice.

"I also put your dinner inside Princess." Xhanya said looking down the floor.

"Thank you," I replied in a cold voice. I really do not want to talk to Xhanya anymore. I just... I feel unsafe knowing that there are things that I should not know but wanted to know.

I opened the door and gets inside. I can see their shadows from here since the door has just some white covering and there are boxes of wood frames.

I saw the silver serving plate covered in a silver cover. Even if it is covered, I can already smell the aroma of the chicken which makes my stomach growl. Without hesitation, I sat down and open the plate. I am right, there is fried chicken, mushroom soup, cut apples, and pineapples served with side dishes like sausage, some leaves, potatoes, and cucumbers. I devoured every bit of them and stuff them in my mouth. The savory flavor of the mushroom soup and the chicken is the best. I can taste the different kinds of spices they used to marinate it. The mushroom soup is so fresh and is perfect to warm and comfort me. Nothing is left on the plates other than crumbles of food. I know they said to eat like a beggar at night but I just can't stop eating since the food is so good. I can barely breathe so I just sit there straight and do not move for a while.

"I'm so full"

Someone knocked on the door three times as I was resting.

"Princess, Prince Yuho is here." The familiar voice said. I looked at the door and saw Yuho's shadow as the servants open the door slowly, his perfectly fine face and body were revealed. He just looks a royalty wearing his black suit and pants with some gold in them while his robe was also black. I looked at him with a poker face wondering why he visited me this late at night. He promised me yesterday that he would visit me a lot but I did not realize he wanted it to be this late. How can we talk and chat about things if there is so little time?

"Why wearing that kind of look on your face?" His husky voice interrupted my thoughts. I just raise one of my eyebrows and ask in an irritated tone of voice. "Why did you choose to visit at this time of the night? It is almost time to rest." I tried to stand up but my full stomach is not ready for me to move so I just crossed my arms.

His bright face turned to a somehow gloomy expression. "I am really sorry princess. There are just lots of things I should do."

"What kind of things is that?"

"I need to hunt with other Prince's and learn more things by reading books and writing journals."

"So... hunting with other Prince's is more important than your fiance?"

"It is nothing like that... It is just that I still need to be friendly to them if I do not want our kingdom to be in trouble."

I kind of understand what he is talking about. He needs his kingdom to be at peace and I think the only way to leave good impressions on the kings of other kingdoms is to befriend the Prince's. But I still want to look like I am getting mad at him to get more of his attention.

"But it is late at night. How can you fulfill your promise that you will answer all my questions."

"There is still some time left." He demanded.

"Well... I really want to rest as early as possible tonight. I am tired of walking beside the lake a while ago." I said as I looked away from him.

"Really? Then... then you can just rest first. I'll be back tomorrow and I promised I'll be early."

I looked at him straight into his eyes and it tells me that he is disappointed. I began to regret that I teased and make him feel that I am that mad. I cleared my throat and gestured that he should sit in front of me so he did.

"Then, I'll ask some questions."

"Okay, I will answer them truthfully."

I looked at the door and I still find my servant's shadows. "Xhanya, you can now all leave and rest." I saw them bow their heads and they left their posts.

"Then, shall we start?" I asked.

He just nodded in response.

"The day I leave the palace before the accident... Do you know why I did that? Did I tell you something?" His eyes widened a bit. I think he is not prepared that the first question I ever asked was already so intense. His mouth opened a bit but he quickly got back to his senses.

"That day?" He cleared his throat before he continue. "We met during the day before I heard that you tried to sneak out of the Palace. We just talked about our wedding and..." He stopped talking and looked like he remembered something.

"And then what?"

"And... I remember you told me you will meet one of your friends."

So, I did meet Xhanya. One of my friends, she is the one who lured me out of the palace?

"Did I tell you who that was?"

"No, you did not. But you planned that you'll sneak for a few hours with Xhanya. But Xhanya told us when you got into an accident that you left her and did not go with her outside the palace. So she tried to look for you but found you lying on the rocks near the outside lake with your head hit and having too much blood."

"Is that so?" But why do the flashing memories tell me the opposite? Nothing about that seems to be true. I really saw Xhanya talking to Junji before she got blacked out. Does she tell some petty lies when we came back so no one would suspect her that she was the one who hit me?

"Did... Did Xhanya seem strange before or after I got into an accident?"

"No... or at least not in my point of view. She was sad when the accident happen and she never wants to leave your side because she said she wanted to be there when you woke up."

"Did she... say something strange to you?" I remember that in those memories, she was talking about how she wanted to have Yuho to herself. So I wanted to confirm if she had done something to Yuho when I was not waking up.

"Something strange?... Like what?" Yuho looked like he was hiding something from me. Something that he does not want me to know. He paused for a moment and could not even look me in the eye as I was asking those questions.

"Yuho?"

"Hm?" He replied. I can sense that he is hiding something.

"I know you are hiding something. Tell me about everything. Everything that you know. Be honest please." I was so desperate in unlocking this mystery. What is he hiding from me?

"Well... I don't want to ruin your friendship..." He said as he frown and looked down.

"What? What is it?"

He still insisted on not to tell a word. But I was very eager to know what is it.

"Okay... I think this is for the best so I'll tell you. When you were in a comma, Xhanya tried to seduce me but she failed. I do not want her and I will never love her. So, I really tried to push her away as much as I can until you woke up. The Queen and King believed her story about how you have been in an accident but I felt something was off when he tried to do those kinds of things to me. She was never like that when you are awake. I... I really don't want to believe it myself but I think she knows something about the accident. So I am still trying to investigate it myself." His tense face relaxed after he told me all of that. He did not want to come up with a wrong conclusion that's why he tried to keep that to himself.

"I just... don't want to blame her about what happened without concrete proof." he added.

"But believe me, I resist and pushed her away and I did not cheat on you."

I knew by the looks in his eyes that he is telling the truth. And I somehow knew that my soon-to-be husband is someone I can trust. So maybe I will share what I remembered about Junji's memories so he could help me put the pieces of the puzzle together.

"I believe you. And what you have told me helped in putting some of my memories together." I said in a soft low voice.

"Really? Did it help? But... what do you remember anyway? You haven't told me anything about it yet."

I sighed and paused for a minute wondering if I should really trust him. But I made up my mind and I want him to help me.

"I... I remember arguing with Xhanya that night. Xhanya seemed to be angry at me saying that she wants to have what I had and is tired of being my servant. I was running then we came into this rocky place. That is where she picked a rock and told me she hated me and..."

"And what?"

"and she wants me dead... Then all I remembered is I fall down to the ground looking at her while she was in shock."

Yuho's eyes widened and could not believe it. He could not believe that my close friend would be the one to do that to me. I also don't want to believe that the first time I saw these memories. How could such horrible things and situations happen? Like the ones in the movies.

"I know, it is unbelievable." I added.

Suddenly, his shocked face turns into anger "She should be punished! Such an ungrateful servant she is! Does she not remember how you saved her family from death when you were younger?"

I do not remember how Xhanya and I became friends so I was curious.

"Saved her family? H...how?"

"You do not remember?"

"No, I can't remember that"

"Her father was one of your guards but he put you in danger. He tried to kidnap you to ransom some money because he needed it for his wife who was sick at that time. The King, your father got angry and wanted him to be beheaded. That is when Xhanya came and stopped it but could not do anything. She was getting dragged out of the main Palace where her father was being sentenced. The King did not want you to see that so he had to make sure that you stayed in your chamber but you somehow managed to sneak and run to the main palace." He suddenly stopped when he saw me yawn and smiled. His smile was the most genuine one that almost melt my heart.

"I am so sorry." I was embarrassed. I could not even look him in the eye. His smile widened and I was hooked up to it without even looking at him. I wish I could see him smile more. It is like a drug that I get addicted to it wanting more.

"Well, I can't blame you. The story was very long." He chuckled.

"No no no, continue." I demanded.

"Are you sure?" His teasing voice with its low tone made me wanna smile but I calmed myself down and replied in a cold voice "Yes."

"Then... I will just make the story short. You came and convince your father that they were very good to you when you were kidnapped and said you even got a friend who always play with you and his father was very nice and warmhearted."

"That's it?" I asked.

"Yeah, your father was very fond of you so he considered it. He even send some doctors to get her mother treated in return that her mother and Xhanya becoming servants since you said you wanted Xhanya to be by your side. His father was not beheaded but sentenced to 3 years in prison."

I was the reason that Xhanya and her mother become servants. So she despised me for that... even though I saved her father from getting beheaded.

"That is why Xhanya despised me." I said while frowning. My voice was sad at what I realized.

His face got curious and replied back "Why?"

"Because I am the reason that she became a servant, and she did not want it."

"But, you saved her father." He sounded like he wanted to comfort me with my own thoughts but he couldn't. I got drowned in it.

"Nobody wants to be a servant their whole life. But because they owe me something, they did it."

I looked at the clock and it is already past 12 midnight.

"Oh, Yuho, we have chatted for so long. You should go home now." But then I realized that it is too dangerous to take a trip now. I really do not want to do it but it is for the best. I do not want him to be in danger. This is for his sake.

"Or..." I added.

"Or what?"

"Or you can just sleep here. It is very dangerous at this time to go home." I stood up and go outside and commanded the guard to call Jiji to put away the plates and bring me a set of mattresses with pillows and a blanket for Yuho without Yuho agreeing. I did not wait for his reply. I don't want to get turned down with this. The guard leaves immediately after hearing the order. I go back inside my room and fix my mattress. Soon after, Jiji arrived bringing other servants with her to put the plates away and set up the bed for Yuho then left.

"I am very honored to sleep in one room with you my Princess." He said in his husky voice.

I do not know what happened but my cheeks got red at the sound of his voice and my heartbeats pounded like it wanted to get off my chest. I shook my head slightly without him noticing then replied in a calm voice "Just sleep."

I lay down and face the wall while seeing Yuho's shadow getting undressed with all the layers of his suit to be more comfortable sleeping.

"Goodnight my princess." He whispered but I still heard it. As he walked, he blows out the candle that was lighting up the room and goes to bed. The soothing sound of his voice made my mind calm down and I stopped thinking about my memories. Or, Junji's memories. I felt safe thinking that I was sleeping with Yuho. I know I could trust him. I began to close my eyes and let this darkness consume my vision and go into a deep slumber.