CHAPTER 8: No Turning Back

Priestess Tyrna was not silent. That's why when I move, I run. I run like the wind. I run as fast as when I chased the fallen star into the woods – and maybe the woods are where I'll go again. The scream Tyrna made as I struck might not have been heard by the convent, but I wasn't around to find out. The system chimed in my head as I ran, and I'd read it when I stopped running. It's strange to catch myself thinking that. As if anything mattered right now except for what I'd done. What have I done? I never even knew my parents – and I don't know for sure what happened. What if it's a mix-up? What if it's a lie? What if this 'System' is all in my head? I head out into woods, and the world only seems as big as what's right in front of me for a while. It's like looking through a small hole, the way my vision dulls around the edges as I fly across the ground. At some point, I realize that My chest is aching and that my breathing can't keep up with my body. It honestly feels like my heart is beating so hard that I can feel it pushing out the bones in my chest. It's so hard to breathe that I can't even start to catch my breath until I lay down against a tree for a few moments. I feel like I'm going to be sick for a moment, so I close my eyes and let the nausea pass. I'm certain that I'm far enough away from the town that no-one can see or hear me. I summon the system. Maybe to question it – or prove to myself that I'm not crazy.

*ting!* "Quest complete."

"Learning your roots: Destroy the monster that killed your parents"

REWARDS; 1 Attribute point.

*ting!* "Quest update."

"Learning your roots: find out why the monster killed your parents"

I just stare at the words for a long time. "Well," I start calmly, "That would have been easier if you HADN'T HAD ME KILL HER FIRST!"

But I know that I'm not mad at the system. The choice was mine. Plus, I need the system now. I need to know that this is real – I can't go back home now. Maybe not ever. But if I can find out why Tyrna killed my parents – if she killed my parents, and maybe I can even clear my name. …or at least feel better about it.

It's not time to dwell on this now, though. I need to focus on the moment. I'm a strong, confident Cleric, and these woods didn't kill me last time. I'm stronger now. Much stronger. I'm looking through my supplies, taking stock of what I have which could make this adventure into the wilderness more comfortable – or at least less traumatic – than my last one. Fat chance. The food comes to mind first. I'm in no mood to eat, but I'll need it later. I'm not really interested in the ink and quill now, but next to them I see a small sealed envelope. Taking it in my hand, I realize what it is.

A letter from a colleague.

It's part of the equipment that I got for becoming a 'Sage'. Who would write me a letter, though? I open the envelope, curiosity casting aside the rest of my thoughts for a moment. It's not really a letter though, it seems more like a page from someone's journal. Beyond that, it only leads me to more questions.

…another blight on this kingdom's landscape is removed. I'm still desperate for a cure, but until I find one, I'll make my curse a blessing. Or at least push use its evil to punish the wickedness of evil men. Maybe there is not redemption in this…. Maybe there is no redemption for me at all. But if ever I am rid of this sickness, I'll spend all my days asking for forgiveness. Gods above, I swear it. What must I do to be free?

I can't wrap my head around what this all might mean – and I can't waste time on something that makes no sense. I ran a little bit more northwest than west this time, but thoughts of the first time I ran into these woods come to mind. It's a little different now, though. For one thing, I don't have the chill that I did last time – I'm in proper clothes, and I have the blanket that I got from Mister Bluegrass, among other things. I can't stay out here forever, though. I have enough food for a few days, and if I go back out onto the road, I can travel to another town. I'll go somewhere far away and forget everything. I can start a life somewhere else. I can learn a trade and just never go back. I can be a Cleric! The thought snaps into place and I open the "Statistics" page in the system interface. It still shows my name and my health. The 'Attributes' are glowing, since I have two more points to spend. I won't use them like I did the last ones, though. I'm a Cleric now. To stay safe out here in the woods, I'll have to be strong, sure. But clerics aren't just strong, or tough, or smart. They're Wise. I spend the points in Wisdom, without any regret. It makes me feel better to do it, too. Looking at the raised 'Wisdom', I sense that it was the right choice. Plus, it makes me feel proud.

Seeing the 'Cleric' class listed near my name makes my heart beat a little bit faster, and I gulp in my dry throat. I'm almost too nervous to find out more about the 'Cleric' title, and I can't get the image of Priestess Tyrna's body out of my mind. I look under another page because I'm not ready to think about that anymore. But this page has an update that is about Tyrna, too. It must be. How else could I explain it?

Guard. Kill a monster that threatens the people of a township or village.

REWARDS; Shield of Expression

Accept rewards? YES / NO

The message doesn't even register. I'm too lost in thought. A monster? When? But the only thing I killed was…

So, it's true. Or at least the system agrees with itself. Whatever was really going on with Tyrna, she had to go. It wasn't just for me. What I did was right. My guilt vanishes in an instant, and I move back over to my 'Statistics'. I select the glowing beautiful word that represents the first two decades of my life. As the system automatically turns over to the Class page, what was blank before is full of wonders now.

CLASS

Cleric. (Domain: Light)

You are now skilled in

Armor; Light armor, medium armor, shields

Weapons; Simple weapons

Choose two from; History, Insight, Medicine, Persuasion, and Religion

I look at these and have to blink a few times to concentrate. This is even better than I thought it would be. Thinking back, I check my 'Backgrounds'. I'm already skilled in History and insight and religion. Not that I can tell the difference. I've been in a convent for 19 years, so of COURSE I'm skilled in religion. I choose 'Medicine' and 'Persuasion' from the list, since they're my only real two choices. As far as History or Insight, I try to think to myself about anything that might tell me if I have some skill that I've recently gained. Nothing comes to mind. Although… the books I was reading did seem more accessible after I became a Sage, whatever else that may truly mean. The history texts even became more interesting. Out of more curiosity than anything, I check the books I have. One is the book with references in Draconic. The next book is on the about Willow's Edge, an old logging town a few days away. I grabbed anything from the 'History' and 'Arcana' sections, so I'm not surprised at the subject. I pull out the book and begin to read. Suddenly, I must pee, and I realize that I've been reading for almost two hours! Well, I don't need to be reading at a time like this, anyway. After I relieve myself, I still have Willow's Edge on my mind. That's how I decide to head there. I've never been there before, and it's roughly northwest of town, so if I change my heading to be a bit more northward, I'm sure that I can come out upon the road and find it. I pull out the system as I walk, and tab back into classes.

CLASS

Cleric. (Domain: Light)

You are now skilled in

Armor; Light armor, medium armor, shields

Weapons; Simple weapons

Skills; Medicine, Persuasion

You gain:

a mace,

(a) scale mail, OR (b) leather armor,

(a) a light crossbow and 20 bolts OR (b) any simple weapon

(a) a priest's pack or (b) an explorer's pack

A shield and a holy symbol

Amazing! This is better than a title and a background combined! I feel a twinge of regret that my chances of meeting anyone out here – much less anyone with a class – are extremely slim. The twinge of regret turns into a much deeper guilt about Priestess Tyrna. Guilt and shame. Ager is there, too. I can't justify it, but in my heart, I believe the system about her. If the system was wrong? …well, I'll deal with that when I must. Now thinking of Priestess Tyrna and seeing the system reminds me that I still have other things to check, but for now, I've sat down on a log and I'm gleefully accepting the items one by one into my inventory. First the mace. It's a big. Heavier than I'd think it would be. I swing it a bit, and it feels much more comfortable to swing than I thought it would. Even easier than the axe. I pull out the axe to remind myself of its clumsiness, but I'm surprised to find that it, too, feels lighter than I remember it being. Maybe because I haven't had it out in a while? Maybe I'm just feeling better now. The last time I held it in my hands, other than that horrible moment with Tyrna, I was running on a few hours' sleep and – speaking of running – I'd been doing that all night at the time.

Putting the Axe away, I make the choice between the scale mail or the leather armor. I should really want to protect myself with as much armor as I can, but looking around me, I don't like the thought of polished steel weighing me down as I travel for days out to Willow's Edge. Leather Armor it is. I leave that in my inventory. Next is a no-brainer. If I have any chance of hunting anything out here, it's not going to be by hitting a deer on the head with the mace. I'll take the crossbow. The shield and holy symbol are already in my inventory – and I'll look at them later. The last choice is the hardest. The system is helpful enough to describe each before I do.

They're both backpacks, and they both have tinderboxes and waterskins. At the thought of the waterskin, l lick my dry lips. There are other things in the backpacks - some of them pretty useful – but I've made my choice about who I want to be. Dress for the job you want to have, right?

"I'll take the Priest's Pack."

The backpack has rations and I'll need them later. First, I lift the waterskin to my lips. It's cool and refreshing, and just what I need. When I'm done, I stow it along with the rations, a blanket, some candles and the rest of the priestly goods into my inventory. Moving is no problem with the system open, if I go slow, so that's how I move. I have most of the day left before sunset, and I intend to use it. I remember the last time that I was running through the woods; the way that I stumbled between the trees in the dark, the way that the shadows seemed so close around me… and the way that I almost fell into that hunter's snare. If I travel at night, it's going to be with caution. Starting the long walk towards Willow's Edge, the town that's on the other side of these woods, I'm not sure how I'll really make it a week away. I set myself to marching, though. Every step I take is a step further away, putting my former life and Mirtulfield, my former home, behind me. I look back to the CLASS screen and the gifts keep coming.

*ting!* "Congratulations, Light Domain Cleric. You gain 'Ritual Spellcasting' and the Light cantrip. Please choose three additional cantrips and two first level spells."

Light! I understand how important that 'cantrip' is immediately. I'm tired of stumbling into trees and tripping over shrubs in the night! As for those other cantrips, the choices are easy. Mending seems extremely useful. Looking down, I really take in the state of my clothes for the first time since I came into the woods. I have the spare set, but… "Mending!", I say. The other two are things that every cleric should know. "Thaumaturgy" I say, "and 'Spare the Dying'."

*ting!*

I would like to say that I thought long and hard about the spells that I chose. The truth is that it took me about two seconds. I picked "Faerie Fire" because it sounded cool, and I picked "Create or Destroy Water" because I knew I'd be thirsty. The system had already let me know that I could change them later anyways. The first level spells are too precious to use right now, but I can't help myself from casting cantrips as I walk, reveling in their simple magic. I cast mending immediately and repeatedly - on the few tears in my clothing, on parts of my shoes that are already worn... I even try casting it on a branch that I break, though I know it won't work.

I play with thaumaturgy as I walk. It's a spell I've seen Priestess Tyrna use in the past. It's how a servant of the church shows the wonder of their deity; you can use it to make your voice boom and spread the good word or cause a room to shake with divine presence. Some priests would use it to make the candles in the chapel change color or make their eyes glow to enhance their sermons. Tyrna mostly used it to make doors fly open and slam shut or create the sound of thunder to 'enhance' her scolding the initiates in the temple.

I try each of these effects in turn, and it doesn't dawn on me until dinner time that maybe if I'd spent less time magically making my voice boom and making thunderclaps, I could have found something to hunt. The priest pack has rations, but not enough to make it the whole way to Willow's Edge. The next two days pass and I eat what little food I have left, using "Create Water" every day. Another day is passing slowly as I creep through these woods. I must be most of the way through my journey already, but I'm not looking forward to showing up in Willow's Edge like a starving beggar. I haven't forgotten that the system rewarded me with gold pieces, and I've already been daydreaming about the things I want to buy – like new books! With nothing to do but walk all day, I've read the three I have already in the last few days. I need something to break the monotony.

Tonight, for instance, I'm using 'Create Water' before I rest, and I'm not just filling my canteen. I'm making it rain in the 30 feet around my naked body to take a shower. Some of the water I use to wash the outfit that I've been wearing. It doesn't work particularly well, but I leave them out to dry anyway and change into a fresh set of common clothes. I use the vestments of the priest pack like a clean towel to dry off before I do, and I'm feeling a little better, though still hungry, when I lay my head down to rest. I'm nodding off when something shakes me to my core.

*ribbit*

My eyes shoot open in the darkness, and I keep the rest of my body still.

*ribbit* *ribbit* The sound repeats itself. This thing could be anywhere, and I'm ready to chance scaring it away by casting Light when a better idea comes to mind.

"Faerie Fire" I say in almost a whisper, as I gesture to the area around me. Nothing happens for a second, then *ribbit* my head turns toward the sound and I see the clear glowing amphibious form of my next meal. It was surprisingly easy to get my hands on that little frog once I could see it in the dark – and after yours truly roasted it slowly like a big fat marshmallow, it was better than I thought it could be. If you'd asked me before I left the convent if I'd ever eat frog, I might have given you an earful. Now, I had such a mouthful that I couldn't talk if I'd wanted to. Finally, after getting some food in my stomach, I fall asleep for the rest of the night. The next day passes without any miraculous frog-feast however, and I fall asleep exhausted after building a fire.

Suddenly, I'm wide awake. The fire has gone out and I wonder if that's what woke me up, when I realize that it was something else entirely. I understand what interrupted my sleep when a noise repeats itself. It's the sound of something shuffling through the underbrush. That's not the only sound that I hear, either. A low growl reaches my ears as my eyes try to see through the dim light. It's a familiar shape. And what's more, the last time that I saw it was in familiar circumstances. I didn't know what it was the last time I saw it. Thanks to the natural history texts that I soaked up while becoming a 'Sage', however, I know exactly what this silhouette is.

It's a jackal.