RTYY 267 - To Think, To Want, and To Feel

Snow was running. He was running as fast as he could. His muscles burned, his chest hurt, but he still didn't stop. Couldn't stop!

The rain was so strong that it felt as if small icy pebbles were being thrown against him, hurting his face. He couldn't even see where he was going, his boots splashing water and mud, the world around him a blur of gray and dark shadows.

There had been an accident, they'd told him. Because of the heavy storm, a tree had fallen into one of the close-by rivers. Acting as a natural dam, many other pieces of driftwood had started to accumulate in that spot, slowing down the flow of water. As a result, the river, already at its limit due to the intense rain, had started to overflow, threatening to flood the nearby fields.

A group of men had been urgently gathered and dispatched to said river. They had to quickly cut the tree, so that the normal flow of water could be restored. But, trying to accomplish their task, a few of the men that had been standing on the large tree trunk had fallen into the raging waters. LanWan amongst them.

Instead of saving himself first, the idiotic man had made a point of trying to help as many men as he could, making sure they managed to swim back to safety. But then the larger bulk of the tree trunk had finally succumbed to the strong current, and had practically ran him over, pushing him down, underwater. No one had seen him since then. They had searched for hours. They were still searching. But no one had been able to find a single sign of him.

Snow winced when a sharp tree branch cut his cheek but didn't stop, crouching down, crawling on his hands and knees through a less dense part of the bush standing in his way, right in front of him. The sharp twigs pulled his clothes, the small thorns scratching his legs and arms. Still he didn't stop, the brurning pain of his scratched skin completely forgotten.

Once he had managed to cross to the other side, he sprang back to his feet and was running again, sliding down a muddy hill, almost falling on his back.

They were looking in the wrong place!, he knew without the shadow of a doubt, even as he stumbled forward unable to see the ground beneath his own feet. Not that he had any idea of where he was going. He only had one certainty. He was going to him.

His heart slamming against his chest, Snow suddenly stopped, the falling rain a dense curtain of water hung in front of his eyes, sliding down his face to the point that it was hard to breathe. He could hear the furious sound of the river not far from where he stood. But where was he?

Urgently looking around, Snow tried to see something, to recognize something, amongst the heavy dark shadows. And then he knew, just like that, and his feet were moving again even before he could think.

Pushing a couple of large leaves to one side, he found what looked like a small entrance to a cave, and quickly stepped inside. He didn't have to go very far, before he found LanWan sprawled on the muddy ground, his clothes completely drenched.

Dread filled his chest, squeezing his heart so hard that it hurt. But Snow still ran to him, falling on his knees at his side. With shaky hands, he tried to make sense of the wild red hair spread all over his body, glued to his head and face.

He felt cold, all warmth gone from him. He felt so cold that Snow thought that all life had left him, his heart threatening to stop as well at the mere thought of what that would mean. And then he felt something warm and sticky cover his fingers.

Raising his trembling hand, Snow tried to see what it was, but in the dim light inside of the cave all he could see was blackness. Still the smell of it made his stomach turn, his entire body shivering in repulsion.

Blood. LanWan was bleeding, he knew, and he quickly tried to turn him on his back, cradling his head on top of his knees.

Closing his eyes, Snow called upon what other people insisted on calling a heavenly blessing, and a soft gold light illuminated the entire cave. Circles of holy symbols appeared on the ground, all around LanWan's listless body, and Snow prayed.

Even though the people around him called him Heavenly Envoy, even though they knelt at his feet and revered him as some kind of sacred being, Snow himself had never actually prayed. Although he didn't like it, he understood why the villagers saw him that way. He had, after all, apparently descended from the Heavens, after some divine message had been sent annunciating his arrival. Still, he had never felt especially close to the Gods. Had never seen them or heard them either. He also didn't feel any kind of holy, sacred presence beside him or within him. And yet, in that moment, he desperately prayed with all his heart, asking for any kind of devine intervention, begging to the Gods that he had never seen or heard that, somehow, they wouldn't take LanWan away from him.

The touch of deadly, cold fingers on his cheek startled him, making him open his eyes, and Snow looked down in utter disbelief.

The hand that had touched him immediately fell listlessly over LanWan's chest, as if reaching out to touch him had completely exhausted his strength. But, in compensation, a pair of bright-green eyes looked up, back at him.

Relief washed over him. So complete and absolute that Snow's eyes filled with tears. He had never cried before. He had seen other people cry, and had wondered how it felt to shed tears. Now he knew. It felt as if his heart were breaking and there was no one there to help him piece it back together.

"Don't … cry …"

The weak words that left LanWan's lips were barely heardable above the strong sound of the rain outside. And even though those words should have made Snow feel better, they only made him even sadder.

LanWan's green eyes left his for a moment, glancing sideways at the golden circles glowing around him, and then closed for a moment, a sigh escaping his ashen lips.

"Didn't I … tell you … that you should ... never … use them … on people …"

Snow sniffed and wiped his wet face on his even wetter sleeve.

"As if I care about that!"

"You should … care …" LanWan insisted, every breath leaving his body taken with visible effort. "They will … hunt you ... down … like an ... exotic animal … if they know … that you can … heal … them …"

"And what? Am I suppose to just let you die? Are you trying to kill me?"

LanWan's red eyelashes fluttered open and those green eyes looked up at him again.

"Don't … you mean … kill myself …?"

Snow pursed his lips, his heart slamming so hard against his chest that he could hardly breathe.

"You're an idiot!" His trembling hands clenched LanWan's wet clothes. "Where's the difference? If you kill yourself, won't you be killing me as well?"

The green eyes staring up at him widened in horrified realization, and Snow couldn't help lower his gaze, his cheeks warming up despite how cold he felt.

"Now that you know, please don't do this again …"

The weight of LanWan's head over his knees suddenly disappeared, and Snow raised his gaze again, to see him trying to sit up.

"What are you doing?! Lay down!" he demanded, trying to push him down again, but LanWan just groaned and, pressing his bleeding belly, finally sat up. "You're still hurt! You're still bleeding!"

Breathing hard, his head hanging low, his disheveled wet hair falling across his face, LanWan took a few moments to try and catch his breath.

"LanWan! Lay down and be still!" Snow commanded, grabbing him by his shoulder, trying to push him down again, but his hand was immediately captured by a much colder, larger hand.

"I'm fine …"

"You're bleeding!" Snow insisted, feeling the smell of blood growing stronger.

"And you're ... healing me … So I'll be fine …"

Left without an argument, Snow just knelt there, looking at him, at his hunched back, at how stiff his shoulders looked. He must be in a lot of pain, he guessed. He had probably dragged himself all the way from the riverbank to that small cave. And he had almost died out there, all alone, out in the cold. Snow's heart still hurt at the mere thought that he might not have found him on time.

When he realized, those green eyes were peering back at him, wild locks of red hair covering half his face.

"What … you said … Were you … serious …?"

Snow faced that intense gaze and simply nodded.

"If you die, I won't stay here another day."

LanWan raked a shaky hand through his wet hair and winced in pain when he tried to take a deep breath.

"You shouldn't ... say that …"

Snow tilted his head to one side, looking at him in confusion.

"Why?"

"You're the ... Sacred Heavenly ... Envoy …" Snow immediately frowned at the sound of that annoying title. "You were sent ... by the Heavens … to help the people … I'm … just ... one of those people …"

"I don't know about any of that!" he immediately replied defensively. ��That's what you all say!"

"That is the ... undeniable truth … I saw it ... with my own eyes …"

Snow pursed his lips for a moment, a deep frustration making his heart beat faster.

"Even if that's so, I'm still me! I still have my own will, my own thoughts, my own wishes, my own feelings. Are you saying that I have to throw all that away and simply be your Sacred Heavenly Envoy?" he demanded and a glint of pain crossed those green eyes before LanWan quickly averted his gaze.

"I won't do it! If that's how things are supposed to be, then the Heavens should have sent someone unable to think, want or feel!"

That argument seemed to somehow surprise him and, when LanWan looked back at him again there was a strange, confused expression on his face.

"If you die, I will die! No matter what you say, that will never change!"

"You … Do you have ... any idea ... of what you are saying …?"

"I'm simply stating what I know to be the truth," Snow replied.

Grimacing in pain, LanWan covered his eyes with one hand and looked away from him.

"Even if it's true … You shouldn't say ... such things … You shouldn't say them to me …" he mumbled, his voice practically imperceptible.

Fearing he might be in pain, Snow leaned closer to him, trying to catch a glimpse of his face amongst all those red locks of hair.

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Ah, more ororororo 😵😁