Ch. 3 The Truth

I was too furious for words... future husband? Is that what my mother was keeping from me? Eirik let me go, a smile on his lips. My mother lowered her eyes. "Valkyrie, there is so much I wanted to tell you. I was.... I was just hoping to find the right time. But today's attack put you at risk. Eirik and his men came to help. Really. I'll explain it all tonight. I promise. Please just go upstairs and change, then we will take a look at your hands and talk." I looked down at my hands- having forgotten all about the minor burns. They were still red and raw, but I think I was in shock and didn't notice. 'Attack? THEY attacked us!' I thought, with my heart thumping in my chest and my head foggy and confused.

I entered through the keep's doors and climbed the staircase to my room. The entire way I replayed the day's events, trying to make sense of everything that had happened to me. When I got to my room, I bolted my door. I definitely wasn't ready to talk to anyone. I paced my floor a good ten times, from door to window before kicking off my boots and plopping on my bed. I sighed and rolled onto my back, looking blankly at the ceiling. Unable to calm my temper I jumped up, grabbed my journal from under my mattress and flipped to the next empty page. 'Writing always helps me calm down,' I thought, as I dated the top of the page.

November 12th

Dear Diary,

I am overwhelmed with emotions. Mostly anger. A lot of fear too. My thoughts are flying through my mind- like flashes of nightmares you can't quite remember. Today, my home was attacked. I thought the fire was bad enough… but it seems it was orchestrated by someone. Mother said the Vikings were here to help, but that makes no sense. They are enemies to every Settler! Why would she promise me to anyone, much less the monsters that attacked us? It would seem mother has kept things from me… who knows what else I am ignorant of. The betrayal I feel threatens to break my heart. I feel like screaming, like breaking things. Diary, the worse part is… on the worst day of my life, I find out I am going to be forced to marry a Viking.

A knock on my door interrupted my writing. "Go away." I hid my diary back in its place. Sitting stubbornly on my bed I stared at the door, daring my mother to try to enter. "Val, open the door. I know you are mad at me… but this is a dire situation. I'll explain everything in just a moment. Just let me in." I sighed and slowly crossed my room to flip the lock. "I'm only letting you in so I can make sense of this. I AM angry and I will continue to be angry for a long time. Don't mistake this as a truce, or as acceptance." I plopped on my bed, still wearing my soot covered clothes. My mother sighed but didn't chastise me for not changing, knowing it would only add fuel to my rage.

"Valkyrie…" She took my hands in hers, pulling out some antiseptic cream and a roll of bandages from her pocket. "Go change and wash up, I'll be right here, ready to answer every question you have as soon as you are done," I grumbled under my breath and stormed into my bathroom, slamming the door on the way in. I was livid. She had kept things from me, lied to me, arranged a marriage for me (to a Viking!) and now she was treating me like a curious child. Like I was the one who had questions, not the one who was intentionally being kept in the dark. I washed as quickly as I could, throwing on sweatpants and a baggy shirt (she hated when I didn't dress like a lady!) and stormed back into my room. My mother sat on my bed, first aid supplied in her lap and a sad expression on her face. I plopped unceremoniously onto my bed and stared daggers at her. "Give me your hands, love," she said, breaking a long silence. I held out my hands, still staring at her face. As she began applying the ointment, she took a deep breath.

"I know you are upset- I understand. Just hear me out. I…. I love you more than anything. You know that. You are my reason for breathing. The reason I've worked so hard to build a safe place for you to live, to grow up in. I wanted you to have a safe, loving childhood with positive memories." She paused, unrolling the bandages to begin wrapping my hands. "I know I've never been open to talking about my childhood. I wanted to shelter you from the darkness, the ugly parts of the world. Of my past." I felt my heart tighten at the tone of her voice. She NEVER spoke about her past before- not once. The sadness in her voice almost made me forget why we were having this conversation.

"I wasn't born in a Settlement. I was the daughter of a Viking Jarl. He was a rough man, and mean. His wife and children were just pawns to him, tokens he could trade or sell at whim. I was the youngest and his only daughter. Since I would not inherit his money or take over for him after he finally died, I was of little use at home. He decided to marry me off at fifteen." She wiped her hands on her apron and sighed, looking me in the eye. "I do not regret that the marriage produced you… for you are my life. But my husband was a Viking King. I swear he was the one that gave Vikings the reputation for being monsters. I'll spare you the details, but his actions against me almost made me lose you. So, I ran away. I came to this area, far from his reach." She stopped in her story, letting me process the information.

"You are a Viking? But that means…" I shook my head. It couldn't be true! My mother had been a Viking Queen, or shield maiden (I thought I recalled reading about it with my tutor). If that is true, that meant my mother was not a Settler. And neither was I. "Can he come get us? Can he make us go back to the Free lands?" I asked, the anger disappearing from my voice. She shook her head and patted my leg. "No, Darling girl. Your… father… passed away a few years back. His lands and tribe were absorbed by a more powerful king." She waited again, unsure how to proceed.

"Val- the new king sent a messenger here, when you were two years old. He promised our safety and the freedom to live here undisturbed. He paid for the Keep to be built, supplied some guards, and never let us starve. He was a good man to us." I felt a chill run up my spine, feeling ominous news coming. She scooted closer, as if willing me to understand. "In exchange for his support and protection, he requested the betrothal between you and his son." The color drained from my face. So, this had been in the works since I was two? The anger began to bubble to the surface again.

"You SOLD me in exchange for food and guards?!" I leapt off the bed and retreated to the window. "Eirik. You sold me to a man I have never met. You took away any free will I had, making the decision yourself… so that you could feel safe?" I paced the floorboards again, shaking in anger. My mother's face turned red- the shade she usually reserved when I had broken the rules. "Don't you dare accuse me of selling you! I thought only of you. Your safety, your happiness. I wanted you to have a normal childhood. Without Eirik's father, we would have both died. The Settlement was nothing but a few lean-tos and a fire ring. His father paid for everything built here, stocked it for the winter months, kept us well guarded. You were able to grow up without fear. Promising a future marriage to a good man's son didn't seem like a huger favor to ask of me. Or you." I could tell by her face that she meant what she was saying. She really saw nothing wrong with arranging my marriage. I shook my head.

"That still doesn't explain everything… Why didn't you tell me? Why wait until my 'betrothed' tries to burn down our village? Why did he try to kidnap us? I saw you fighting against one of the riders. Why did Eirik pose as one of your guards? Are you crazy?! You want me to marry a monster?" My cheeks were red and my questions came spewing out in a hurry. My mother was used to my temper and my 'spiritedness' as she called it. She simply let me finish, waiting for me to stop to catch my breath.

"Val, I can not explain my actions in the past, aside from what I've told you. I wanted to keep you safe, to provide for you, to give you a normal childhood and a chance of happiness. I am not making you marry a monster. Eirik's father was a great man. He raised his son to be one as well." I shook my finger at her. "Then you marry him!" I sat on the windowsill, my chest heaving and my mind still reeling. My mother stood and came to me, carrying the brush from my dresser. She gently combed my hair, lovingly parting it and brushing out the tangles.

"Eirik and his men didn't start the fire. They were patrolling the area, like they usually do, when they saw the smoke. If it weren't for Eirik's men getting you away from the warehouse, you would have been killed. They believe you were the target. The fire was a distraction, Val. There were men there trying to kill you. Eirik was actually wounded in the attack, protecting you. And as for your other ten questions… I will answer them later. It's time to eat dinner. You WILL change out of those baggy clothes and into something decent. I'm not asking you to wear a gown… just a pair of pants that fit and a nice blouse. Angry or not, you will join me in the dining hall for dinner." With that, she stood, kissing the top of my head and left my room, closing the door behind her.