Ch. 6 Distant Memories

"We just met this morning, how much catching up do we have to do?" I took my sketchbook from his hand, as he turned us towards the fireplace at the far side of the hall. Gregor sat at the table, trying to flirt with one of the village girls that helped in the kitchen. 'What a great chaperone he is… too busy paying attention to a woman to pay any attention to us.' Eirik gestured for me to sit in one over-sized chair beside the fireplace, while he sat in the one across. Our knees nearly touched and he looked like an adult sitting in a child sized chair. "You really don't remember? I met you before, when we were younger. I told you my name was Ethan, as you were only eleven and I was wasn't ready for you to be batting your pretty eyelashes at me." I felt my jaw drop. "Ethan?" I couldn't believe he had changed so much that I hadn't recognized him. "But you…. Ethan was a Settler?" He shook his head, laughing.

"You assumed 'Ethan' was a Settler. But do you remember where we met?" I thought for a moment, sifting through years of childhood memories. "As I recall, you were up in a tree outside of the village gates. I was on patrol with my father's men, when you fell from the tree- right onto me. You had no clue who I was, which I found funny. I took you to the cliffs and we had a picnic, remember?" His voice was gentle, but there was something behind his eyes that scared me. It came rushing back- hours spent with Ethan, climbing trees and exploring the woods outside of the gates. "We had to sneak away from the guards so that we could get past the gates. You would be the distraction, since I was the one on lock down!" I giggled remembering the time 'Ethan' had thrown an apple at a guard so hard it knocked him out. We had run away thinking they were going to kill us! His eyes widened when I laughed, a smile breaking free on his lips.

"It's been a long time since I've heard that laugh. I've thought about you for a long time, Little Red." He leaned towards me, reaching his hand for mine. Panic grabbed hold of me again. I flinched back in my chair. "You lied to me... everyone lied to me. " I shook my head. The only real friend I had ever had was a lie. He pulled his hand back, sighing. "We were young. I was told not to reveal my identity until your mother thought it was the right time. But after a few weeks, my father pulled me back for more training. I didn't get to say goodbye, or tell you the truth. I don't understand why your mother waited until it was time for us to marry before telling you." I stood up, clutching my sketchbook to my chest and backed away, nearly tripping over the armchair. "Time...?" His eyes darkened for a moment before he stood to follow me. "She didn't tell you everything today, did she?" I shook my head and took another step away from Eirik. "I... I need time to think," I said, before bolting from the room. Thankfully, he let me go.

Once I reached the safety of my room, I locked the door and grabbed my journal from under the bed. My mother had given it to me for my eighteenth birthday a few months ago. "Valkyrie, you will do great things with your life. I knew the moment I first held you in my arms that you would make history... be sure to write it down, from your point of view. Who knows? Eventually it may be put into a book about the Great Valkyrie Eir!" I had laughed, thinking she was being dramatic. But my journal had become a part of me. I wrote mostly to calm myself down or sort out my thought when I had to make a decision. Up until now, the 'problems' I had were few. I sat at my desk, and opened to the previous entry.

Cont.'d

Diary, if this day gets anymore 'exciting' I might just have a heart attack. It turns out, I've met Eirik before... only I thought his name was Ethan. Talking to him by the fireplace had almost relaxed me. For a moment, my fear and anxiety vanished. Ethan was a good friend. In the few short weeks I knew him, we had bonded. I told him my secrets (the few I had as a young girl), we had explored, he didn't laugh at me or scold me when I climbed or got dirty. He was the first and only friend I've ever had. The girls around here always treated me differently... it all makes sense now. They knew what I was. Everyone knew. And no one thought to tell me. I feel even more ashamed and angry now. I hadn't questioned why I was kept on a short leash, why I was overprotected. I only knew that running with Ethan was the most care-free I had ever been.

Carefree... that will never happen again. Oh! Not only did my mother neglect to tell me that I was engaged for most of my life... when she finally did tell me, she left out that it would be happening soon. Eirik told me in the dining hall that he didn't understand why my mother waited until it was time for us to marry before telling me. What am I going to do? I'm less afraid of Eirik, now that I know he hadn't harmed me in the past. But now I'll be married to him. He will be legally allowed to do what he wants with me. Will he make me leave my mother and my home? Will he turn me into a baby factory- pushing out child after child? The thought of it makes me nauseous. I'm not ready for any of this.

I fell asleep at my desk, my face resting on top of my journal.