Small Disaster King

In Zhao Wen's courtyard, Tian Cai knelt before his mother and great grandmother.

"You-You are saying you consider this Fei Hung as your brother? You wish for us to accept him into the clan?"

"Mom..Granny, unlike me...he's really 5 years old. For him, he was born from my Masters and then he was left alone for from that time. He-he is just a poor lonely soul."

Zhao Wen looked at Zhao Jia, "Grandmother, what-what do you think about this?"

Zhao Jia sat quietly, she was polishing and buffing the Heavenly Punishing Paddle with a soft cloth.

Tian Cai nervously peered at the paddle. With great control, he was holding back his instinct to run.

Zhao Jia raised an eyebrow at Tian Cai. "Cai'er have you been controlling your uncouth mouth? This Granny must tell you she's watching you."

Turning to Zhao Wen, she said, "Little Girl, you can't accept Fei Hung as your son...How would we explain to the world you have another son? Do you not recall how many lies we told to keep Tian Cai's background secret? If you want to accept him into the clan, we must him accept as a distant cousin."

Zhao Wen turned her attention to Tian Cai. "Will accepting him as a distant cousin be acceptable?"

Looking inward, Tian Cai asked, "Little Brother, I've been talking to my Mom. We can register you as a distant cousin in the Zhao Clan. However, between us...we will always be brothers. Will this be acceptable?"

Almost shouting and bobbing about frantically, Fei Hung blurted, "Yes Brother! Yes!"

With a broad smile, Tian Cai said, "Mom, my Little Brother agrees."

Zhao Wen's face revealed joy as she caught Tian Cai's little smile.

My son's the most adorable.

"Later, I'll bring the both of you to formally greet the ancestors," said Zhao Wen.

"Cai'er does Little Fei Hung have a foul mouth like you? Are you teaching him bad words?" asked Zhao Jia, rapping a tree with the Heavenly Punishing Paddle.

Boom!

It shattered into innumerable would splinters.

Tian Cai's eyes popped out of his head. Vigorously shaking his head in negative, he said, "Ah Grandmother he's five years old.. still a sweet innocent child. I, as his elder brother, have a duty to teach him right from wrong."

Clearing her throat, Zhao Wen decided to diffuse the situation.

"Son, what have you learned from your Fathers?"

With a dejected look, he replied, "There's an issue."

Both women sat forward in their chairs.

"My Masters were forced into slumber and were unable to clearly guide me."

Zhao Wen stood up, a frown deeply creasing her forehead. "Are the Divinities blind?"

"Mom, if you frown so hard, it will naturally turn into a wrinkle."

"Ah, I have a wrinkle!" she exclaimed, desperately trying to rub the crease away.

"Relax, there nothing there yet."

Zhao Jia chuckled, "Cai'er you seem to already have a solution."

Tian Cai stood up, crossing his hands behind his back.

"Mhm...The solution is my Younger Brother...he has access to their most important memories. Through his guidance, we can slowly unravel their knowledge."

Zhao Jia chortled, slapping her knees. "Doesn't that mean your Younger Brother is also your master?"

Tian Cai's face blackened.

"Grandmother stop teasing him."

A maid entered the courtyard. Bowing, she said, "Old Matriarch, Old Master has returned. He's says he's accomplished the task you gave him and is waiting in your courtyard."

Zhao Jia's eyes brightened. "Good..Good...for once he's finally filial. Granddaughter, Cai'er...I'll make a move first as I have matters to attend to." Hastefully, she left.

Tian Cai let out a sigh of relief.

"What you miss the Heavenly Punishing Paddle already? Should I asked Grandmother back?"

"Mom!"

Zhao Wen chuckled as she gently patted Tian Cai's head. "Did you bring Mother any more news?"

"Mom, Son deserves a reward?"

"Reward?"

"Mhm..I've already started to contribute to the clan. Earlier I noticed that both Gray and Small Shadows have special constitutions...respectfully the Dawn Shadow Body and the Solar Eclipse Shadow Body."

Zhao Wen mulled a bit before replying, "Mother's racked her head but can't recall these constitutions...are these detailed in the memories of our ancestor?"

"Mhm...more importantly they are rather special. According, to our venerable Ancestor with the Innate Sunlight Body, the three represent the Clans three great constitutions. When the three act together, they can perform unique formations that will greatly enhance the battle power of our clan."

"This! Son, you-you are our Clan's greatest treasure!"

"Mhm."

"Mother loves you best, but its best not to become arrogant. Mother still remembers a certain 40 year old fat baldy."

"Mom!"

"You know what Mother's hinting at."

"Son, understands."

"Good...what would you like as a reward?"

"Is it possible to tour Savant City?"

Zhao Wen's face stiffened.

Surprised by her reaction, Tian Cai asked, "Did son misspeak?"

"You know Mom loves you best…."

Tian Cai suddenly got a bad feeling.

"..But now you have regained all your memories...you'll soon realize...Son, you have a terrible reputation."

"Mom, How can this be? Am I not only 5 years old?"

"However, you're a 5 year old with a physique of a Martial King. Things tend to break or are destroyed whenever you go out. Son...Mother won't lie...they call you Small Disaster King."

"Small Disaster King? Meeeee!?"

"Mhm."

"It-It can't be that bad, right?"

"It's not only you...your Grandfather is known as Great Disaster King. Your Uncle is referred to as Young Disaster King. The Clan has almost gone broke paying repatriations for all of you. It's gotten to the point where..never mind.

"Never mind??? Mom, just tell son."

"Since we cannot afford to pay anymore reparations, the Clan has resorted to...Kekeek, silencing the complainers."

I'm the Young Noble Master of gangsters?

"So-so what will happen when I go out?" asked Tian Cai.

"Some people may harass you."

"What!"

I'm so hated, an angry mob will attack me?

"So if you really want to go out, Mother will let you. However, you'll need to go with a heavy contingent of Clan guards, two shadows and Bai Guang."

"Mom, son will take this opportunity to rehabilitate my reputation. In the future, they'll respect me as the Youngest Master of Zhao Clan."

Zhao Wen chuckled, "Oh? What about your alias as the Zhao Clan wastrel?"

Tian Cai stood speechless.

"It's okay, Mother will love you even if you are both wastrel and Small Disaster King. If you still want to tour the city, I can send word to Chief Mo. And in two days, we'll have Bai Guang show you around.

"Big Sis!"

Realizing he hadn't seen her in awhile, he asked, "Mom, where's Big Sis Guang?"

"She's resting...apparently Father recruited her for a task last night. When you see her, try to find out what she did. As you know, your Grandfather doesn't make the most reliable decisions."

"Mhm, then I'll return to studying and cultivating."

As Tian Cai ran out, Zhao Wen looked towards Zhao Chen's courtyard.

Father, Daughter hopes you don't be bring trouble to the clan.

Some hours later, deep into the evening, A yell erupted from Zhao Chen's residence.

Zhao Wen and Bai Guang led several guards into his courtyard.

"Father!"

"Old Master!"

"Who Dares attack our Zhao Clan!"

Rushing and calling out their concerns, the group collectively halted in frozen shock. Standing before them was Zhao Chen covered in a small mountain of manure. The man was looking at himself in disgusted disbelief, unable to process that a pile crap had just fallen down upon him from night sky.

Looking up, he roared, "Foul Beast...I'll kill you! This King will hunt you until…."

Bubbly air pops expounded and...Splat!

A Thick barrel sized turd struck Zhao Chen's forehead and knocked him senseless. He stumbled about with rolling eyes.

"This?!"

"Young Matriarch, what shall we..."

"Beware!!"

Zhao Wen's sunlight domain erupted, protecting everyone. In horror, everyone jumped backward as a column of foul yellow liquid splashed over Zhao Chen.

Zhao Chen's aura suddenly erupted and a giant halberd appeared. "I'll KILL YOUUUUU! DIEEEEEEEE!!"

He blindly swung in the air in all directions, sending out huge blasts of energy.

Boom! Boom! Boom!

The blasts pierced into the moonless dark sky, lighting it up in bright flashes.

"Fool! That beast has already departed!" yelled Zhao Jia. With a heavy stick in her hands, she came swooping down from the sky and smacked Zhao Chen's head."

BAM!

Completely knocked out, he instantly slumped down with his eyes turned inward.

"Rest now….Sigh…Since you were little, who has been cleaning up after you? Wen'er!"

Releasing her protective domain, Zhao Wen quickly ran over. Peering down in disgust and covering her nose, she said, "Father! Grandmother, isn't that the Heavenly Punishing Stick? What just happened?"

Zhao Jia glared up in the sky. "It been over ten years since your Father required me to bring out the Heavenly Punishing Stick."

Zhao Wen looked at the stick with reminiscence. How many times had she seen Grandmother punish her Father with it?

Putting the stick away, Zhao Jia said, "It was a strange foul beast, extremely high in the heavens. Someone must've cursed my son. It was like a divine beast god pooping ignorantly on ants. This old lady has seen many strange occurrences….but this???"

"Grandmother, what should we do about father?"

Zhao Jia sighed heavily, "Child you silence those fellows on the pain of death." Covering her mouth and nose with a thick cloth, Zhao Jia rolled up her sleeves. "Have servants bring several tubs of hot water and the strongest soaps we have." She paused taking a deep look at the sorry state of her son.

"Chen'er, Mother will clean you now."

Zhao Jia proceeded to work.

"Little Punk! You gained weight!!"

Oblivious to the bizarre events outside, Tian Cai sat cross legged in the forbidden area.

"Little Brother, tomorrow we will go the Zhao Ancestral Hall. We will formally pay our respects and Mom will register you as a clan member. Hence forth you will be named Zhao Fei Hung. Congratulations."

In the white space of his mind, Fei Hung zoomed about in glorious zigzags similar to that of a humming bird.

"Big Brother!! I am Zhao Fei Hung!!!"

Tian Cai chortled. "Mhm! You are Zhao Tian Cai's little brother...Zhao Fei Hung."

"Honorable fathers, Fei Hung will guide his Big Brother well!"

Tian Cai shook his head.

It's hopeless...I'm sure they brainwashed him.

After letting Fei Hung enjoy his happiness for a while, Tian Cai looked about in confusion.

"Little Brother, why is this place so white?"

With a swoosh, Fei Hung appeared before Tian Cai's eyes.

"This place? Before it was dark. However, when you regained your memories it became white like it appears now."

Tian Cai's voice softened, "Are you saying, for five years, you were alone in this-this dark space?"

"Mhm."

Tian Cai's eyes welled up. "Little Brother, Big Brother didn't realize..."

"How is it your fault?"

"Still..."

"Big Brother...this is your mind, you can now choose what it is like."

"Big Brother can control this space?" asked Tian Cai.

"Mhm. My understanding is that you just need to imagine the appearance you desire."

"It's that simple? Let me try it." Tian Cai waved his hand.

The white light dissipated and the space quickly changed to the inside of his old apartment.

"This?"

"Big Brother, what-what is this strange place."

Quickly, Tian Cai waved his hand again, now he appeared on a hill over looking his hometown.

His eyes moistened as he recalled endless memories of his old life.

"Are-are these places of your previous life?"

"Mhm...Like you Big Brother spent many lonely years."

"Big Brother, with Fei Hung here...we-we will no longer be lonely."

"If Big Brother could pat your head he would. Humph! In the future, I'll make our Fathers create you a body. Until then..."

Tian Cai stood straight and waved both hands in giant circular motions. "Let this place be like we were real brothers in the outside world."

A spacious courtyard appeared with three gates and a large manor. Tian Cai held out cupped palms. "Let Big Brother show you around."

Fei Hung settle down into Tian Cai's palms. Smiling, Tian Cai brought Fei Hung to the main gate. A scene of the large Zhao Clan courtyard appeared. "Here, you can look out and see exactly into the Zhao Clan Manor. That building there is the Main Hall. That small building is actually the Zhao Clan Library."

"What are the other buildings?" asked Fei Hung.

Tian Cai scratched his head. "Unfortunately, I have yet to learn myself? But that isn't a bad thing. Now, we can slowly learn together."

Tian Cai turned about to face the manor. "From the gate to the left, you can see Mom's courtyard. Naturally, on the right is Big Brother's courtyard. Like in the outside world, you can knock at the gate and I'll heed your call. Come, let me show you the manor."

As they walked in, Tian Cai said, "You can decide a name for your manor yourself. This place was modeled after my manor, however there are some important differences. Things you don't like, we can change to whatever you like. This here, Big Brother made specially for you."

Before them was area that looked like the den of his apartment. There were shelves upon shelves full of comics, manga, video games, and DVDs. Before a 70 inch TV were video game consoles and a DVD player.

"Little Brother, I didn't want you to get bored. So these here are all the things I've read, watched and played. For those times I cannot accompany you, I have prepared this room. However, I will ask Mom how best to educate you on the outside world. So I also created a library."

Before Tian Cai could finish speaking, Fei Hung had already flown off to peruse the shelves. He zipped excitedly between the shelves like a little child. Finally he stopped before a shelf hidden in the back. Suddenly his golden white colored blushed a tinge of red.

"Big Brother...these pictures...these videos...how come there are nude females?"

"Sh*t!..NOOOO! That shelf shouldn't be there!" With a quick swipe, Tian Cai made the shelf disappear. In fact, he imagined the shelf locked securely in a vault, on an island surrounded by a moat full of alligators."

"Little Brother was about to choose a magazine, how come you hid those things away?"

Tian Cai rubbed his temples.

How did he stumble into this mess?

Luckily, Fei Hung's attention span matched his age. "Ah, this-this monster, what-what is it?"

With one eye, peering through his fingers, Tian Cai looked over at Fei Hung. Before him was a life-like toy of Godzilla.

"Heehee! That is Godzilla, King of Monsters."

"King of Monsters?"

"Mhm...Godzilla is as tall as mountain and breathes atomic fire. These are all my Godzilla movies. You can watch them and slowly learn about him."

"Fei Hung will start watching them now."

"Big Brother will show you how to watch the DVDs. However, right after, we need to discuss cultivation."

After about 15 minutes and showing Fei Hung the tricks of using a DVD player and turning on the TV. They returned to the courtyard.

"Fei Hung, tell me about your suggestions. How does Big Brother access the memories of our Fathers?"

"Even though, that first memory was unfinished, Fei Hung can naturally sort through the memories. However, there are innumerable memories between our three Fathers."

"You're meaning is that it will take time?"

"Mhm."

"This?"

Tian Cai walked about with a dejected face. Suddenly, the light of realization twinkled in his eyes. What he needed from his Masters were martial techniques, naturally it was because the best cultivation method was that of his Ancestor, the Archaic Grand Empyrean.

"Little Brother, it appears you'll need to work for your playtime. Fei Hung??" asked Tian Cai. Looking up, he found he was alone. Fei Hung had left him.

Little punk!

From the direction of the manor he heard, "It's Godzilla!!" Tian Cai eyebrows knitted.

Within seconds he had returned to the Manor's little den. Fei Hung was bobbing excitedly on the sofa.

In the TV, Godzilla roared, facing Mechagodzilla.*1

"Smash that vile metal creature!"

"Fei Hung."

"Use the fire!"

"Fei Hung!!!" yelled Tian Cai.

"Ah, Big Brother...you're here?"

"Pause the movie."

"But he's about to throw that metal tin can into a mountain?"

"You!!"

"Okay, I'll listen to Big Brother."

After pausing the movie, Fei Hung swooshed to Tian Cai's side.

"Little Brother, its fine if you want to play...of course that why these things are here. Unfortunately, you need to do some work first?"

"Brother?"

"You can finish this movie first, but afterwards. And this is important, you must go through all the memories and sort them out. Since there is a library here, you can catalog the martial techniques into cultivation and martial. Then you must further sub-categorize them into...."

"What-what does that mean?"

Tian Cai's face blackened.